


Vows (The Buildup)

by Regency



Series: Fashion & Rhyme [1]
Category: The Bold and the Beautiful
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 19:38:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 71,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1481566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regency/pseuds/Regency
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2014 is only twelve months long, but they’ll change Katie’s life for the better—Ridge will see to it.  What he doesn’t see is that Katie will change his life, too. </p><p>Begins just after Ridge & Katie’s talk on NYE 2013.</p><p>Features Ridge as portrayed by Thorsten Kaye, the recast, not the original by Ronn Moss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. January

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, setting, or quotes recognizable as being from The Bold & the Beautiful. They are the property of their actors, producers, writers, and studios, not me. The poems quoted in this story are also the owners of their respective poets. No copyright infringement was intended and no money was made in the writing or distribution of this story. It was good, clean fun.
> 
> If you guys wanna talk/flail/flop with me on Tumblr, I'm [sententiousandbellicose](http://sententiousandbellicose.tumblr.com).

When Ridge said he’d make sure her new year was happier than the one before, Katie hadn’t known what to expect.  Maybe nothing.  Like Brooke, Ridge was prone to making a promise one day and breaking it the next.  She shouldn’t have expected anything.  Only something made her believe him.  Despite the broken promises she’d endured these last couple of years, she believed him without hesitation.  She set her heart on it.

Because in the almost thirty years they’d known one another, she didn’t think Ridge had ever looked at her the way he had on New Year’s Eve.   In every visit since, the look had been the same.  She was growing accustomed to that, too, and the warmth that settled over her like an embrace when he said hello and lingered once he’d gone.

Something in the air had changed.  The New Year smelled so much sweeter than the treachery of yesterday.

**January**

That first month, Ridge stopped by her office three times a week to talk to her.  He’d come between meetings and loiter until her assistant gently shooed him away. When they were still finding their way, they spoke about Brooke and Bill and _everything—oh, god, everything_ —until Katie found herself crying a fourth time and he vowed not to ask her any more about the year before.  After that, he asked about everyone else. About Eric and Donna and Stephanie’s final days, about Pam and her secret somebody, about the neverending saga of Liam, Hope, and Steffy with its brand new twist named Wyatt.  He asked after her health every time. He asked about Will and he _listened_.  He sat and listened to her speak so quietly sometimes she thought she was alone.  But she wasn’t, not with him.  She said things she never expected to be able to say, safe in the knowledge that they’d go no farther.  She didn’t know _why_ she trusted him after twenty years, but she trusted him.

He always hugged her goodbye before he departed, back to Forrester and Eric’s, back to Brooke’s insistence and his own uncertainty.    He always hugged her, and she got used to it.  A good day just wasn’t as good without a hug from Ridge Forrester.  It was a small thing he added to her life, and it was the best thing.  Little by little, Katie began to feel strong enough to start giving that wonderful thing back.

 

…

A sighing Ridge dropped into the chair across from Katie.  She glanced away from the memo she was drafting to see her former brother-in-law scrub a hand down his face.  _He looks exhausted and fed up._   Katie was sensing a pattern.

“Don’t tell me, Brooke’s at it again.”

“When isn’t she?”

Katie saved her document and shut her laptop, clasping her hands together on the lid.  She was trying not to enjoy how much Ridge confided in her, but she was only human.

“I’m not much of a therapist, but if you’re going to make these Brooke-related visits a habit, I’ll have to start charging by the hour.”

Ridge huffed a chuckle.  “I probably need my head examined anyway.  I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You’re trying to put your family back together.  You’re doing what you think is right.”  Katie came around to sit on the edge of her desk. 

“Am I?  Is this the right thing to do? Because it doesn’t feel like it, not anymore.”  Ridge slumped in his chair, glaring at the ceiling like its name was Brooke.  “I shouldn’t have come back.  I thought I needed the closure.  I needed to be sure.”

Katie noted how disheveled he looked compared to his customary grace and felt the first stirrings of real concern.  “What did you need to be sure about?”

“Myself. Brooke.  This town.  I don’t think I belong here anymore.  How weird is that? My own home and after a year away, I don’t know where the hell I am.”

“It must be a shock to hear so much has changed.”

“It’s a shock to hear what hasn’t.”  Ridge pulled himself upright.  “I compare what I hear to my memories and it’s all the same, it’s all business as usual.  Just none of it is business as usual for me.  I’m the one that’s changed.”

Katie pulled a chair over to sit next to him.  “Why’d you change?”

“I woke up and realized how old I am.  I’m too old for scandal and too tired for mayhem.  I’m not ready to die, but I can’t live like that anymore.  Only that’s all Brooke _wants_.  She thrives on the forbidden.”  Ridge lowered his head to rub his eyes.  “I’m just too old.”

Katie took his hand.  “You’re not too old, Ridge. You’re not too anything.  You’re just the way you’re supposed to be.”

“Nobody thinks that but you.”

“Nobody thinks I’m—what was it? I think it was ‘filled with strength and courage.’  Nobody thinks that about me except you.  Between the two of us, somebody has to be right some of the time.”

He squeezed her hand.  “My money’s on you.”

She squeezed back.  “Mine’s on you.”

“I guess that means we can’t lose.”

“Not this year.  This is our year.”

Ridge cracked a slip of a smile.  “I’m holding you to that.”

“You can count on me.”

He inhaled deeply and let it out, grasping her hand that little bit tighter.  Underneath his natural tan, he was paler than he should have been.  So pale she wanted to take his pulse and count the beats of his heart, because hers was the one that was supposed to be unreliable.  She was counting on his to keep the time.

“Brooke really did a number on you today.”

“Brooke…is Brooke and I should stop expecting another woman’s sense of morality to dictate what she does.”

“She did something unforgivable and you’re trying to justify it so that you can justify forgiving her.”

“I’m trying to remember why I always have.”

She warned herself to be fair.  “Because love is blind.”

“And deaf and dumb.  Love is headless.  I can’t live or love with my eyes closed.  Only it feels like that’s the only way that’s left.  Where did I go wrong?”  He turned to her like she might have the answer.  She had _an_ answer, she supposed.

“You didn’t go wrong, you grew up.  Everybody has to sometime.”  Katie backtracked.  “I say ‘everybody’; I obviously don’t include Brooke in that.”  Charitable wasn’t on Katie’s list of virtues today.  The spark of humor in Ridge’s eyes hushed the voice inside her forever preaching, _forgive and forgive again._

“I don’t think I do either.”

Katie felt safe in the knowledge that she wasn’t the only who couldn’t go back.  She knew Ridge wouldn’t tell.  That molasses comfort extended up past their linked hands to her heavy shoulders—she could have rested on his.  _Leave it to him to comfort me without a word._   This camaraderie livened the hours Will didn’t fill.  Katie cautioned herself on relying on it when it could disappear at any moment.  Gently disengaging their hands, Katie went to pour each of them a glass of mineral water.

“Bill’s sniffing around your time in Paris, looking for dirt on you.  If you’ve got any secrets you don’t want Brooke to find out in the worst way possible, you may want to tell her yourself.”

Ridge massaged the bridge of his nose.  “It might be easier to let him dig up everything.  That’d save me the trouble of telling people.”

Katie was curious.  “Can’t be any worse than what Bill and Brooke pulled last year.”

“I don’t know about that.  They don’t seem to have much sympathy for the sick and infirmed.”  Katie hid her reaction as best she could.  She found the thought of Ridge being sick shocking.  He was strong and resilient.  _But what if he couldn’t be?_

“Empathy hasn’t ever been Brooke’s strong suit and Bill’s been worse than ever since they got together.  Is that what made you change?  Looking your mortality in the face will— _allegedly_ —make you a better man.”

Ridge grunted.  “So I’ve heard.  When you can count the days of your life, it’s hard to justify being a jerk.”

Katie drank her water to conceal her nerves.  She wouldn’t know where to begin asking questions.

“You and Bill had _very_ different near-death experiences.”

“So it would appear.” 

Ridge pulled the wrinkles from his rumpled sleeves and Katie could only watch in wonder as he put himself to rights.  The man who’d collapsed into her chair was receding and with him her friend.  This was the heir apparent of Eric Forrester appearing, this was Stephanie’s son, put together and well-made.  The tiredness that downed his posture was slipped into the inside pocket of his Armani suit like a phone number on a napkin he’d dial later on.  He was becoming the man he allowed other people to see and shelving the man he’d shown her.  _The parts that are wounded are put away, not fit for public consumption._

He stood and stretched like it as a new day.

“Are you going to be okay?”

He smiled, putting his hands in his pockets.  “I’m always okay.”

Katie wanted to believe that the way she’d believed the vow he’d made her only weeks ago.  But for all of Katie’s newfound faith, she couldn’t make it stretch quite that far.

“Would you tell me if you weren’t?”

“If you’d tell me.”

“Deal.”

They shook on it, and Ridge drew her into one of his leaving hugs that always seemed to say more than goodbye.  She held on tight, thinking of all the ways she’d come to rely on his presence.  _Don’t ever disappear on us again._   She couldn’t say that to him yet, maybe one day…

“Take the corporate world by storm, Katie Logan,” he murmured in her ear.

“I’ll try.”

He tucked his face into her neck and she might have held on for years had she a modicum less self-control. 

“You will. I believe in you.”

“I believe in you, too.”

Then she let go and Ridge departed with his subtle smile and world-weariness to leave Katie to hers.  Ridge had brought shades light and dark into Katie’s life just by sharing it, and she found she didn’t mind the contradiction, because she was sure Ridge wouldn’t abandon her to face the darkness alone.


	2. February

**February**

Valentine’s Day made her nauseous this year.  The flowers, the pink and the red, and hearts made her own heart beat a shutter-quick tattoo in frustration.  Bill had tried his ploy to slip back into her good graces.  The words had been right and the gestures were more than heartfelt on the surface, but Katie hadn’t lived in Brooke’s shadow her entire life by being taken for a fool.  Once, yes; twice, by mistake, but never a third time.  Thus, it came as no surprise to her to discover her former husband chasing her sister at Forrester not long after he’d been chasing her.  When she and Bill stumbled face to face, Katie said not a word.  Bill had to good sense not to either.  Kate was proud she didn’t run to Ridge’s office fast as her pumps could carry her.  Seeing further evidence that her dream life was just a nightmare in the making all along didn’t make a coward out of her.

Her dignity intact, Katie threw herself into one of Ridge’s cushy office chairs, distracting him from his latest sketch.

Smirking at her annoyed expression, he made another broad stroke across the page.  “By all means, help yourself.”

“Ha,” Katie replied humorlessly.  “And thank you, I think I will.”

Ridge flipped his sketchpad shut and tossed it aside.  “Should I start building these little visits into my schedule?”

“As often as you interrupt my workday just to shoot the breeze, you’re getting cranky?”

“Not cranky at all. I’m happy you feel you can visit me here.  Mi oficina es su oficina.”

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time I need an escape.”  Katie toed off her pumps, immediately sighing in relief.  It felt good having somewhere to go.  “There’s something to be said for disappearing without a trace.”

“You’ve got a point.  I’ve done it.  It’s freeing to be able to walk away from everything, to just wash your hands of the whole…situation.  The downside is you gotta come back sometime.”

“Sounds perfect to me and I just got back a few months ago.”

Ridge rubbed his jaw.  “How was that? Being away from Bill and Brooke and…everything?”

“Freeing.  Peaceful.  It was nice to go somewhere where I wasn’t being told that the worst thing that’s ever happened to me was my fault.”

“You shouldn’t have had to leave home to find that.”

Katie smiled ruefully.  “You’re still the only person who thinks that.  Welcome to the Twilight Zone, where everybody else is crazy or maybe it’s just us.”

Ridge rose to pour them each a drink of water, which Katie accepted with gratitude.  He went back to his chair.

“I don’t know about that.  You seem pretty sane to me.”

“You, too, just don’t ask anybody else.”

“They don’t give you enough credit for knowing your own mind.”

Katie wasn’t up to talking about it anymore.  She’d just seen Bill and Brooke and that fire of resentment still burned.

“Let’s not talk about that.  What’s happening here? Have you found your place at Forrester yet?”

Ridge leaned back and put up his feet.  ‘Probably more so than my brother would like.”

“Rick’s been pretty prominent in your absence.  He headed up the Hope for the Future launch with Caroline and it’s been an enormous success by all accounts.  He may be feeling a little threatened by your sudden return.”

“He doesn’t have a reason to be.  I just want Forrester to succeed on all fronts it puts forth, not just Hope’s line.  That’s what I’m here for, to make sure it continues to do well what it’s always done best: Couture.”

“Between the two of you, the company couldn’t be in better hands.”

“You saying that because he’s your nephew or because he’s married to Caroline?”

Katie wavered.  Ridge waved away her answer before it was fully formed on her lips.

“Don’t answer that, it wasn’t a fair question.”  He worked the kinks out of his neck.  “I know I have a lot of time to make up for.  Life doesn’t stop because I’m gone, work doesn’t stop and people—they move on. Empty spaces get filled because they have to be.  I don’t mind that so much. I just want to a chance to find out where I fit, _if_ I fit.”

“You do.  Like you said, it’ll take time.  You have time.”

Ridge rubbed his lower lip.  “Maybe.”

“Well, you have time with me and I’ve got a lot of vacancies in my life. No rush.”

Ridge looked to her from where his gaze lingered in the distance.  He rested his hand over his heart.  “No rush.”

Katie chose not to read too much into it.  That didn’t keep her from smiling at the gesture.

Ridge broke her gaze, appearing almost embarrassed.  Katie sipped her water to hide how big her grin had grown.  She’d never known him to be embarrassed.

“Enough of that. You came to see me for some reason. What’s up?”

“Nothing.  I just wanted to get out of the office and Caroline was busy.  Once I checked her off, I realized there wasn’t really anyplace else for me to go but home.  I didn’t want to go home, so here I am.”

“Here you are.”

“I can go if you’re too busy for company.”  She didn’t want to go.

“I don’t want you to go.  I like having you here.  This all makes a little more sense when you’re around.”

“Is that why you love my office so much?”

“Nah, I gotta confess, it’s you.” He cocked his head in a shrug.  He was smiling as much as Katie was.  _We must look insane._ She didn’t care.  “And the view.  The skyline is incredible from the CEO’s office.”

“Better with two.”

“Almost everything is.”

Katie looked down at her bare hands, easily recalling how well Bill’s ring had fit on her finger.  She hadn’t expected to take it off.  She’d hardly had it on long at all before she was tossing it at him in disgust. The one man she’d allowed into her heart in the hopes of keeping him there had betrayed her with the woman she had naively believed would never.  _More the fool me._

“I’ve learned to appreciate what I can on my own.  There are times when you have to be alone to learn who you are when nobody else is watching.  How do you know if you’re always performing in order to meet someone else’s expectations?”

“You don’t.”  Ridge twiddled a pen, discomfort etched in his permanently furrowed brow.  “I don’t.  Still don’t.  But I’m learning day by day.”

“That’s all a person can do.  Embrace the journey.  Most people won’t ever know themselves as well those who are forced by their circumstances to redefine themselves.  You’ll know who you are and you’ll know where you fit.  You’ll know where _Brooke_ fits as well.  Just do what you’re always telling me to do: give yourself a break.”

“A break, huh?”

Katie nodded.  This was comfortable.  Telling him what he’d told her was safe ground. She worried when she strayed beyond those safe places.

“Since you’re talking about taking a break, I wanted to ask you something: Are you going to the Forrester Couture gala this month?”

Katie thought of all the pomp and the glamour and the hairspray and the torturous heels, and shuddered. 

“Probably not.  I’ve never been much for parties; I’m even less of a fan now.  I’ll probably just stay home with Will and read about it in the morning.”  Donna would tell her everything the tabloids had to say and more.

“You could do that or you could come with me.  Dance. Mingle.  Have a little fun.  You deserve it.”

Katie finished off her water.  “Is this you trying to make my year better?”

“Ah.” He shrugged.  “It’s one suggestion.  I’ve got a million.”

Katie set her empty glass on Ridge’s desk.

“Name suggestion number two.”

“You, me, RJ and Will, and a carnival.”

Katie stopped herself short.  “You’d do that?”

“Yeah, sure, why not?  I don’t see RJ enough, I don’t see you enough.  This way, I get everything I want and you get a break. Lay down your burdens for a few hours and eat some cotton candy.  You can’t lose.”

He made it sound easy.  Katie suppressed the eager voice of the girl she used to be who was shouting for her ‘say yes already!’  She hadn’t been that girl in a very long time.

“What about the gala?”

“I’ll go stag.  It won’t kill me not have to a beautiful lady on my arm.  I survived a year of it.  Changed my life.”

“I guess that’s not all it changed.”  Katie steeled herself.  _This is just an outing with the kids. Don’t make so much of it._ “The carnival idea sounds great.  I want Will to have as much fun as he can at this age.  Let’s make it happen.”

Ridge beamed, as much as he did anymore, obviously pleased she’d taken to his suggestion.  “Fantastic. I know just the place.  Let’s say the 14th at 9:30? We can get breakfast and be there by 11. They’ll be just opening; it’ll be like we have the place to ourselves.”

Katie’s excitement grew despite the caution she favored.  “You don’t have somewhere you’d rather be on Valentine’s Day?”

“I couldn’t think of better company than you and the boys.”

He wasn’t alone in that.  Katie couldn’t think of a single place she’d rather be on that day either.

…

They were all together at Badgley’s Fun Fair & Carnival on Valentine’s Day morning.  Katie and Ridge and the boys entered the fairground at 10:50 after Ridge had a word with the ticket seller.  Will had babbled appropriately when Ridge mentioned it was baby’s first carnival and the seller had been charmed, letting them in that little bit earlier than the families milling in behind them.

Ridge and RJ had performed their secret handshake in celebration of a scheme coming together while Katie had laughingly warned her son off using that smile of his to con the unsuspecting public.  Will in all his young Spencer glory made no promises she could understand.

Ridge hoisted RJ up on his shoulders so his son could see above the stalls arranged in rows and columns over the open field.  There was a Ferris wheel far to the right and spinning teacups gearing up dead ahead.   There was a sprawling rollercoaster that wasn’t too high, but in Katie’s estimation it was high enough.  There were shooting games, bean bag tosses, and bumper cars as far as the eye could see.  It was all flashing lights and childhood memories come to life.  Katie already loved this day.

Ridge patted RJ’s leg.  “All right, kid, what looks good from up there?”

“Um, I know I wanna go on the Ferris wheel, but how about the pony rides for Will?”  He pointed at the temporary corral stationed on the edge of the grounds where a bunch of ponies whinnied and chomped at grass.  Katie was skeptical.  Ridge’s answering look was the same.

“You don’t think he’d like the Ferris wheel?”

“I don’t want him to get scared.  He doesn’t like playing airplane, remember?”

“Right, he’s got his mom’s fear of heights.”

Katie’s smoothed down Will’s flyaway hair.  “It’s a perfectly rational fear. Some of us like to keep our feet firmly on the ground.”

“Yeah, but how do you fly if you never get off the grass?”

Katie busied herself with Will’s coat buttons as she answered, “I suppose I don’t.”

Ridge bumped her shoulder, his tone growing conspiratorial beneath RJ’s notice.  “It’s a new year. Who knows what it’ll bring?”

Two months in, Katie still wasn’t sure, but she was getting more curious all the time.

She eyed a nearby basketball stall, cooking up a scheme of her own.  “Hey, Forrester, how’s your jump shot?”

Ridge took her expression in the spirit it was intended.  “You’re up to something.”

Katie smirked.  “Just wondering if you feel like getting your butt kicked at basketball, too.”

Ridge and RJ sent her identical looks of surprise.  _They still doubt me, even after I kicked his butt at one sport.  I’ll just have to do it again._

Ridge, never one to take an ego prodding gracefully, gave in first.  “All right, you’re on.  Do your worst.”

Katie rubbed Will’s back.  “Remember these words, sweetie, because Uncle Ridge is about to eat them.”

…

Ridge thumped onto a weather-beaten wooden bench in front of the hotdog stand where RJ was getting his order filled and Will was gumming a handful of cotton candy at his side.  _That’s my family_ , Katie thought without allowing herself to get caught in the implications. Right now, she didn’t care.  This was their day.

Ridge was pouting at her side.  “You couldn’t take pity on an old man?  The boys will never respect me after that poor showing.”

Katie gave his shoulder a consoling rub.  “Never ever doubt the Logan prowess. If we say we’ve got it, we’ve got it.”

“Lesson learned.  You ought to give a class.”

Katie feigned nonchalance.  “It’s all in the wrist.”

“You’ll have to show me.”

“Gladly. Get Will and RJ. I’ll get change.”  Katie went to buy Ridge a raspberry snow cone for his wounded pride and to break her $20 bill.  Ridge gathered their sons for round 2 at the basketball stall.  She arrived to find them waiting for her like a class on a field trip to the museum.  So different and yet every one of them here for her.  Something about the three of them together soothed her heart; she wasn’t ready to consider just what.

“Okay, gentlemen, it’s time for you to learn the proper way to shoot a hoop.”  Katie handed her dollar to the stall operator and received her miniature basketballs in return. “Watch closely.  You’re going to do it with your whole body.”  Katie demonstrated, pushing upward and flicking her wrists to send the foam b-ball sailing into the novelty hoop with a swish. Then, she did it again. Twice.  _Perfect Score Logan shows ‘em how it’s done._

“Like that.”  Katie turned around to find Will cuddled up against Ridge’s chest dozing while RJ and Ridge looked on, impressed.  She touched her chest.  Ridge would know what she meant.

“Since this was for your benefit, do you want a bunny or a duck?”

Ridge groused good-naturedly.  “Duck.  It’s manlier.”

Katie collected the duck from the stall operator and handed it to Ridge without comment **.** She didn’t want any part of discussion where the masculinity of stuffed animals was up for debate.  Her heart melted anyway when Ridge proceeded to hand the duck to RJ who turned right around and presented it to Will with pomp and circumstance.  Katie couldn’t be sure about this, but she thought her son had just found his new favorite toy.

Ridge put an arm around her shoulders.  “Don’t get too comfortable with your victory.  There’s still bumper cars.”

Katie leaned into him and reached around to ruffle RJ’s hair.  “Hear that, boys? Now, I’m _really_ scared.”

RJ laughed.  He’d been Team Katie on their first b-ball match and their soccer match; he didn’t seem eager to give up his winning streak.  Will snuffled and grinned, not so sleepy now that they were on the move again.  Katie mussed his hair, too.

“Those are fighting words.”  He shot her a challenging look.

“I’m up for it if you are.”  She shot one right back.

“You bet.”

But neither of them let go of the other.  This was nice. This was the new ‘safe,’ where being in competition didn’t mean standing alone.

Katie had been right on the money before:  This was already the most amazing day.  Apparently, this Valentine’s Day wouldn’t have to hurt after all.  _Who knew?_

 


	3. March

**March**

March was marked by Brooke’s intensifying efforts to have Ridge home.  Katie was the unlucky recipient of her labor one sunny afternoon at her house.  Adele had stepped out to give them privacy and Katie had a conference call in ten minutes. Nevertheless, Katie stood by and listened.

“Ridge listens to you.  Can’t you talk to him for me?  I know I’m asking a lot—“

Katie’s knees felt like water and she couldn’t stand.  She flopped into to her couch with none of her sister’s preternatural grace.  Katie felt like the intruder when it was her sister that was invading her home on an errand.

“You are, Brooke.  You’re asking _a lot_.  Ridge is my friend and he’s had a difficult year.  We both have.  He doesn’t come to me for relationship advice and I don’t give it to him unsolicited. If he wants to talk about what’s going on between the two of you, I’m more than happy to listen. I’m just not going to advocate for you to him if that’s not what he wants to hear.”

“But you _will_ talk to him for me?”

_Why did I bother wasting my breath? It’s not like she ever listens to me._

“If he wants to talk, I will talk to him.”

Brooke clapped her hands in glee, then pulled Katie into a tight hug.  Katie wanted to pack a bag and run as far away from Brooke and her sisterly hugs as she could get.  _Nothing is ever worse for me than when Brooke thinks she’s getting her way, because she’s usually right._

After Brooke had gone, Katie retreated to Will’s nursery with a pile of books from college.  Will had his nursery rhymes and Katie had her poetry.  It only seemed fair that for a change the tragedies she had in mind not be hers.

…

Katie had fretted her way through an otherwise pleasant lunch date with Ridge by the time she got an opportunity to plead her sister’s case.

“You should think about talking to Brooke.”

Ridge tapped at his phone for a long minute before setting it aside.  _RJ must be texting in class again._

“I talk to Brooke every other day, almost daily.  I don’t think I could talk to Brooke more if we were living together.”

“There’s an idea to consider.”  _Don’t do it, not even for a trial run. She won’t let you go._   Katie was _trying_ to be a good sister, she was.

Ridge glanced away from his next bite of lobster risotto to raise an eyebrow at her.  “Where’s this coming from?”  Katie couldn’t hold his eyes for long, choosing instead to stare at the tablecloth.

“I’ve just been thinking. I don’t want you two to miss out on any more time together on my account.”  She could still feel Ridge watching her.

“You don’t think you’re worth a little discomfort?”

“ _No comment._  I just don’t want you holding back from reuniting your family due to some misplaced loyalty to me.”

“I wouldn’t call it misplaced. My loyalty lies just where it should.  I think I’d be the best judge of that.”

Katie’s face started to feel hot.  Here she was making an idiot of herself for Brooke of all ungrateful people.

“What I mean is, don’t be angry at Brooke just because of me.  Be angry at her because she’s disappointed you. Be angry because she’s demonstrated astonishingly poor judgment.  Don’t do it because it’s what you think I’d want you to do.”

“Okay, Katie, I’m going to say something and I want you to take it in the most affectionate way possible.”

Katie guffawed.  “You don’t even have to say anything, I can pretty much guess what it is.  You’re going to tell me to butt out.”

“I wasn’t going to, but now that you mention it…”

Katie threw down her napkin.  “She asked me to talk to you. She _insisted_ I talk to you on her behalf.”

“Brooke doesn’t get to insist.  _You_ are the only person in this comedy of errors who gets to make demands.”

“And you, evidently.”

Ridge clicked his tongue, noncommittal.   “All I’m asking for is the opportunity to think for myself.  I haven’t asked Brooke to wait for me. I haven’t made any promises; I’ve only asked for more time.  If my timing bothers Brooke, she’s free to stop waiting.”

“Bill would love that.”

“Of course he would. He’s a horrible person.”

Katie fixed him with a look.  He was unapologetic.

“I know you love him— _loved_ him very much, but he’s not a good person and he’s not good enough for you.  He proved that.”

“Sure did.”  Katie pushed her chicken cacciatore around with her fork.  She scoffed at her lost appetite.  “You know, it’s strange to me that you can forgive Brooke when I can’t forgive Bill for doing the same thing.  Not that it matters anyway, Bill is all Brooke’s now.  She has him eating out of her hand and she doesn’t even care.”  Katie didn’t want to care.  _But this is Will’s father…_

“And if she was off the market…”

“Don’t.”  Katie got a shiver.  “I can’t be second choice.  I can’t be a consolation prize.  I get nauseous just thinking about it.  I’d worry everyday about coming home to them together in our bed—again.  I’d think about her carrying his child, _wanting_ his child and him wanting it, too.  It makes me sick thinking about it, even now.”

Ridge touched her fist where it clenched around her fork.  “Why upset yourself with hypotheticals?”

Katie looked him strangely.  “Hypothetical? I lived it, Ridge! I was there when she tried to pass her baby off as your father’s to ‘protect me’.  I can’t live through that again.”

Ridge’s expression went blank.

“You lost me.  Take it back to the beginning. What’s this about Brooke being pregnant by Bill Spencer?”

Katie sat back.  “I told you. They fooled around and denied it right to my face for months.  Then, she got pregnant and to keep me from finding out, she tried to seduce Eric into claiming the child for his own in exchange for her hand in marriage.”

Ridge’s dumbfounded expression took on a darker tinge with every word.  Katie got a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“But you knew all that, right?  Brooke told you all of that, didn’t she?  She must have.”

Ridge’s words came out in a jumble through his clenched jaw.  “Yeah, Brooke told me everything, or so she said.  Funny, she seems to have forgotten this part ever happened.”

Kate read fury in his posture and flexing fists and tried to head it off.  _That’s what sisters do, right?_

“Maybe she forgot.”

“What happened to the baby, Katie?”

“She miscarried.  It was hard…for Brooke.”  Not as hard as it had been for Katie to discover the closely-held secret.  Everything from then on had been hard.

Ridge declined to comment, ticking his head sideways in acknowledgement.

“She didn’t mention _any_ of it?”

“None.  Just the affair.  She said they got caught in their feelings and got carried away.”  Ridge laced his fingers together.  “What else did she leave out?”

“I’m not sure I should say.”

“You didn’t mention it either, not at first.”

“Not my happiest memories.  I thought you knew and understood that it hurt too much to think about.”

“I understand now.  I won’t ask about any of it again, but, Katie, if I’m supposed to marry Brooke, I need to know exactly the kind of woman I’m marrying.”

“You know her, Ridge. She’s Brooke.  She never means any harm and she’s always _so sorry_ for the hurt she’s caused.”

“Like a pet that isn’t house-trained.”

“You don’t want me to comment on that; it’s my carpet she peed all over.”

Ridge grunted, swallowing his surprised snort.

“She tends to do that when left unsupervised.”

“That would be funny if she was Will’s age, but she isn’t.  When does Brooke finally get held accountable for _being Brooke?_   When does ‘being Brooke’ stop being a valid excuse for hurting everyone in her path?”

Ridge grabbed Katie’s hand.  “Today.  It stops being enough today and I’ll tell her that.”

“You don’t have to do that for me.”

“I don’t do anything I don’t want to do on some level.  I was hoping to try again with Brooke because she promised not to lie to me anymore.  She said between us would be the truth and nothing but, only to prove that she’s incapable of being a woman of her word.  I can’t go on like that anymore.  I’m not the man who’d sigh, ‘Oh Logan,’ and carry on like it was business as usual.  That man is gone and good riddance.”

“What are you planning to say to her?”

Ridge looked at the skyline for a beat, then he got up and took out his wallet.  “Take my card.  Pay for lunch.  Go shopping. Go to a spa. Get a massage.  I thought I was making it up to you, but I severely underestimated the extent of the damage she caused.  I’ll be making this right for years.  Shouldn’t be like that.”

Katie pushed Ridge’s black AmEx back toward him.  “I can pay my own way and lunch is on me.  You don’t have to take care of me.”

Ridge caught her wrist as she went to pull it back.  “I want to.  You deserve that.”  After a moment of hesitation, Ridge leaned down and kissed her cheek.  “See you later.”

Kate was still reeling from the tickle of his 5 o’clock shadow against her skin and didn’t reply.

This wasn’t the first time Ridge had referenced making amends.  He was forever apologizing for Brooke being Brooke like he’d led her to Bill and shoved them together any more than Katie at her worst off had been guilty of spurring on their affair.

Katie wasn’t sure what had gone on in Paris, but she was beginning to think that she wasn’t the only one left damaged after the past couple of years.

**…**

An hour later, Katie stormed out of Brooke’s house angrier and more confused than she’d entered.  She wasn’t sure why she bothered talking to Brooke when the two of them lived on different planets when it came to decency.  Katie had dabbled in her sister’s world and never forgiven herself for how she’d hurt Bridget.  Brooke had taken her own betrayals and perfected her technique.  _It’s like I don’t know her, only I do.  She’s always been this way._   Katie knew she had only herself to blame for not foreseeing that Brooke would lay waste to Katie’s family.  _Why wouldn’t she?  Blood never meant anything to Brooke before now.  What was supposed to make me the exception?_

Katie was so wrapped up in her hurt, she wasn’t watching where she was going. She knew this path from Brooke’s door backwards and forwards, only she forgot to account for unexpected pedestrians.  She collided face first with another person on the path to the driveway and it was only their quick reflexes that saved her from hitting the ground.

“Oh, boy.”

“You can say that again.”

Katie recognized that voice and felt twice as foolish.  “Ridge.  Uh, hi?”

His mouth twitched in greeting.  “Hey.  Where’re you off to in such a hurry?”

Katie cleared her throat and stepped back to wipe her face.  “Just to my car.  I have a meeting, and then I need to make dinner for Will.”

“You look…you don’t look good.  You shouldn’t be driving in that condition.”

“I’m okay.  Just something Brooke said.”

“It’s always something.  Come on, let me take you somewhere.”

Katie was just drained enough not to argue with him.  She was as far from fine as she’d been in months.  She couldn’t bear for anybody else to see her like this.

Ridge ferried her to their destination the long way.  They followed the winding roads complete with a scenic view of the ocean.  They rode with the windows down and breathed the ocean-city air.  _Seaweed and sand, I can smell it from here._   Katie propped her head against the headrest and tried to be okay.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere I like to go to think.  It’s got a view of the ocean and city.  You don’t mind, do you?”

“No.  I’d love to see it.”  Ridge was mysterious in so many ways Katie couldn’t resist the chance to understand the man he’d become a little better.

They drove past Eric’s place and past Katie’s own till the found where the asphalt met the sand on a rocky mountain road.  They turned off onto a dead end dirt road that opened into _everything._   Katie saw birds traveling in flapping V’s across the multi-colored sky, and some diving into the surf in search of meal.  She saw surfers and beachgoers and could hear children laughing from where they sat.  Shining buildings rose behind the beach, roads hugging the coast whilst vehicles sped past.  It was everything and from here, it felt like that everything was all theirs.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Beautiful is the perfect word for it.”

“Come on, it’s better from outside.”  Ridge got out of the car and came around to open the door for her.  Katie wasn’t dressed for this, but she let him lead and hopped onto the hood of the car when he agreed to help her up.

They sat quietly together to watch Los Angeles heave and swim.

“This must be a great place to think.”

“Yeah.  Sometimes when I can’t get my head on straight and I need a hit of inspiration, I come here.  I look at these people and the water.  Something usually jumps out at me.  I thought it might do you some good.”

“It’s helping.”

Ridge brushed his shoulder against hers.  “Not that the company’s anything to sneeze at.”

“Not too shabby.”

They leaned together and enjoyed the sun.

Katie would have enjoyed it for longer, if only she could stop thinking of what Broke had said.

“Why did you bring me here?”

“You needed someplace to cool down.  This seemed as good a place as anywhere.”

She pulled at her collar, her neck hot. 

“But why you?  Why not Eric or Liam or, god, anyone?”

“Because I was there?  I don’t know, Katie. Because I care about you and how you’re feeling.  I want to look out for you.  Some of this is my fault; it’s the least I can do.”

Katie sighed.  “That’s what I was afraid of.  It’s guilt, Ridge. Guilt! It will fade.  You don’t have to keep seeing me or looking after me to assuage your conscience.”  She took a shaky breath.  “Don’t use me to punish Brooke.  It’s not noble just because you’re on my side.  It’s still a lie.”

Ridge draped his arms over his knees bewildered.  “Why would I—no, let me try again.  I do feel guilty about how Brooke has treated you. I do feel guilty about _everything_ Brooke has done since I left her on our honeymoon.  That is true.  I want to make it up to you, to my father, to everyone hurt by her actions, but that’s not my job and I know that.  It took me a few weeks to wrap my head around this fact, but I’ve known it for a while.  This isn’t guilt, Katie. This is me, being with you because being anywhere else doesn’t make sense.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“And I don’t expect you to. That’s why I didn’t say anything.  I lost my ‘destiny’ and gained a friend.  What business do I have asking for more than that when I _caused_ all this?”

“ _Brooke_ caused all this. _Bill_ caused it.  They made this mess together. It’s time you and I stopped blaming ourselves for it.”

“That’s the first time you’ve claimed it.  That’s your affirmation.  Let it set you free.”

Katie rolled her eyes.  _This is Ridge Forrester?_ “You sound like a self-help book.”

“Spend as much time soul searching as I have and you’ll be able to spout off the latest in quasi-philosophical, new age, existential garbage as well as I can.”

“What changed you? You still haven’t said.”

Ridge faltered on answering, tipped his head in a nonverbal _pass._

“I don’t remember you being this secretive before.”

“Not unless I had a secret.  Guess I’ve got another one.”

Katie snuggled into her blazer, catching a sudden chill off the water.  “That’s not very reassuring. I’ve seen what secrets can do.  Dangerous stuff.”

“You’re right.  I guess I ought to confess.”

“Nobody here but us outcasts.”  She raised a shoulder in welcoming. “Tell it.”

“That easy?”

“As easy as walking away from the love of your life.”

“So, not easy?”

“Not easy.”

He turned over her hand to trace her life line.  Katie ignored the resulting shivers up and down her spine and called it an effect of the ocean breeze.

“ _Because I could not stop for Death,_  
He kindly stopped for me;  
The carriage held but just ourselves  
And Immortality.”

“Emily Dickinson.  I didn’t peg you as a fan.”

“Some days more than others.  All kinds of poetry, really.  Cummings, Marvell, Shakespeare, Dickinson and Donne.  Shelley when I wonder at the wonder of love, and the vastness of it.”

Katie leaned closer.  “I love Shelley. What’s your favorite of his?”

“You’re not kidding?”

“No! Why would I?”

“It never occurred to me you might be into this sort of thing.”

“When I was in high school, I wiled away all of my free time reading poetry.  Love poems and epic romances.  I could have recited any sonnet you could name by Shakespeare when I was fifteen.  I would have died if anybody’d recited one to me.  Guess it’s a good thing I never had to worry about that with Brooke and Donna around.”

“A lot of boys don’t even know how they missed out.”

Katie didn’t like to talk about that lonely girl.  She wasn’t real anymore.

“You didn’t answer my question.  What’s your favorite Shelley?”

“The best of them.”  Ridge scratched at his stubbled jaw.  “Let’s see if I can remember it.”  He began and Katie’s breath caught:

_“The fountains mingle with the river  
And the rivers with the Ocean…”_

She picked up where he paused:

_“The winds of Heaven mix for ever  
With a sweet emotion…”_

He looked at her quizzically.  “You like that one?”

“It’s my favorite one of Shelley’s poems. I’ve got an entire book of his work, but that one…I could quote it in my sleep.”

He turned to her and carried on where she’d stopped.

_“_ _Nothing in the world is single;_ _  
All things by a law divine…_ _”_

She continued:

_“_ _In one spirit meet and mingle._ _  
Why not I with thine?_ _”_

Why was she smiling at him? She couldn’t have named a single reason why, and yet there were multitudes poised on the tip of her tongue.  These words were on his:

_“See the mountains kiss high Heaven  
And the waves clasp one another…”_

But Ridge was smiling back at her and that had to mean something.

_“No sister-flower would be forgiven  
If it disdained its brother…”_

She twisted her wrist to clasp his hand. He returned the embrace.

_“And the sunlight clasps the earth  
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:”_

She plumbed the depths of her adolescence just to recall:

_“What is all this sweet work worth  
If thou kiss not me?”_

They sat for a moment in quiet appreciation of Shelley’s verse.  _I thought I’d only love that way once.  I may never again, but it’s something to know it exists._

Katie exhaled and made to let go of Ridge’s hand.  Ridge didn’t seem to realize he’d been holding on.

“Ridge Forrester, when did you become a poet?”

He folded his hands together between his knees, shoulders rising in wry shrug.

“When I earned the sorrow.”

“It’s just, you never struck me as…”  Katie stopped, unsure where she’d been going with that statement and sure she shouldn’t finish it either way.

“I’ve never been much of a deep thinker, but I had the time, more than enough of it, and the inclination.  I bought some books, walked some beaches.  I went in search of peace in other people’s words.  I thought they must have it all figured out if I could just find the right verse.”

“Did it work?”

“Seeking yourself in other people doesn’t usually work.    There’s solidarity in common…I don’t know the word for it.  Pain, I suppose.  Disillusionment.  Exhaustion, maybe.  That works for some people; not for me.”

“And yet you’ve been here all this time, empathizing with me.”

“When I’m with you, it’s not my pain I’m thinking about. I can’t put a patch on whatever’s ailing me.  But if I can be some kind of salve on your wounds, I figure maybe it’ll help. Does it help?”

“Having your friendship and your company has been an immense help.  I didn’t realize how lonely I was until I wasn’t anymore and I have you to thank for that.”

“You welcomed me home.  You’re the first person that’s felt right since I got here.  That’s big.”

“It feels big.”  Suddenly sure of herself, Katie slid across the hood until she was close enough to rest her head on his shoulder.  “Welcome home, Ridge.”

Ridge squeezed her knee and wrapped his arm around her waist as he did every day. 

“Thanks for having me back.”

He kissed her hair and told the truth:

“I’m with you because I want to be.  That’s it.  There’s destiny and then there’s what you choose.  I choose this.”

She knew this, whatever _this_ was, couldn’t be that simple.  _Brooke won’t let it be that simple._ Nevertheless, whatever it was, Katie was choosing it, too.

Just like that.


	4. April

**April**

Katie stopped advocating for Brooke in April. Not simply because Ridge asked her to let him make up his own mind, but because she no longer believed that wishing her friend and her sister back together was the best thing for them.  _Brooke hasn’t changed.  Ridge has.  He needs more than she can provide and what she wants he can’t give her._   Ridge had grokked their incompatibility right off whereas Brooke still clung to the belief that their love affair could be salvaged.  Katie had every intention of keeping her distance from the monsoon sure to begin swirling between her sister and former brother-in-law.  _I’m out of the matchmaking game._

On one hand, she wasn’t emotionally in a place where she could send them off together.  _Not that Ridge would go if I told him.  He’d quit taking my phone calls._   A very real vindictive part of her _burned_ at the idea of aiding Brooke in attaining her happily ever after Brooke had had a vital part in the breakdown of Katie’s.

At the same time, Katie was forced to admit she no longer trusted her own motives.    She had felt a shift in her and Ridge’s friendship in recent weeks.    His remark about destiny had served as the turning point.  _“There’s destiny and then there’s what you choose.”_   How was she supposed to take that?

_Ridge couldn’t be developing feelings for me.  We’re friends.  I’ve been his sister-in-law since I was a girl.  It would be…it wouldn’t be us._

Katie had put the words out of her mind countless times; over and over, they’d come springing back, demanding clarification.  _What did he mean?  Do I want him to mean..?_   She was preoccupied with the wherefores of this gradual transformation.  Ridge hadn’t made a move to change their relationship beyond the intimate conversation and soulful embraces that had defined it since the New Year had arisen.  _He cares about me, he chose me._ No further answers appeared to be forthcoming.  For the time being that knowledge would have to be knowledge enough.

**…**

Katie sneezed into the crook over her arm and just about toppled out of her office chair.  _Okay, this one has to go._   It was only her flailing grab at the desk that saved her a nasty concussion and one more blow to her sorely wounded pride.  _I can’t be sick. I don’t have time to be sick._

Adele offered Katie a Kleenex from the box on the corner of her desk.  “You sure you don’t want to head home?  I can cancel the rest of your meetings for the day.”

“These meetings have been on the books for weeks.”  Katie took the tissue to blow her nose, feeling every year of her life in her bones and lungs.  _I hate everything. Can’t it be Saturday already?_   But no, it was only Wednesday.

“It’s not the end of the world if you don’t go.  Mr. Spencer would be happy to cover for you.”

“Liam is not the CEO, though the board is probably going to wish he was if I start skipping conference calls.”  Katie’d head swam as she tried to set her chair to rights.  The lights were suddenly too bright and her joints began to throb.  _Just great._

“You’ve missed three meetings out of dozens you’ve attended since stepping up as CEO.  I wouldn’t steer you wrong.”

 _Someone I can actually believe._ “That’s the most comforting thing I’ve heard all week.”

Adele smiled.  “No meetings?”

Katie threw up her hands—and nearly fell a second time.  “All right, no meetings.  Call Liam and have him sit in.  Would you sit in with him and prepare a summary of the minutes for me?  I’m sure he’ll relay everything to me, but I’d feel a lot better knowing you were there to cover all the bases.”

“Happy to do it.”  As a full on sneezing jag hit Katie, Adele handed her the entire box.  “You want me to call Donna to pick Will up from daycare?”

“Adele, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Remember me at Christmas.”

“And your birthday. Trust me, you’ve more than earned your bonuses.”

“Anything for you, boss.”

…

_Bzzzzzzt!_

Katie grunted.

_Bzzzzzt!_

She whimpered.

_Bzzzzzzt!_

She prised open one red-rimmed eye in unadulterated disgust.  _Can’t I be sick in peace?_

Katie unfurled herself from her down duvet cocoon to claw for her vibrating phone _._ The buzzing was aggravating the pressure inside her head. _This day couldn’t get any worse.  Don’t be Bill, don’t be Brooke, don’t be Liam.  Don’t even be Donna._

She blew her nose on a wad of tissues she’d been clutching in her other hand for the past forty-five minutes.  _Where is the box?_ She found it empty, overturned off the side of the bed.  _How?_   She didn’t have the presence of mind to give it deep consideration.

Her fingers slipped on the touchscreen.  _Not today, damn it._ Were it not for Ridge’s face on the screen, she’d be ignoring the call to hibernate until the worst of her illness had passed. 

She answered, sniffling, “Vat?” _Congestion.  Wonderful._

 “I hear you’re nursing the plague over there,” Ridge said in lieu of a greeting.

 “That would explain my generally corpse-like appearance.”  Katie burrowed under her covers with his voice on speaker.

“How would you like some company?  I could order soup and bring it over.  We could watch some movies.”

Company sounded hellish.  Katie was an introvert at the best of times and a hermit at the worst.  She wanted to lick her pathetic wounds and recuperate without an audience.  _Ridge Forrester the playboy and me with a blotchy face only a mother could love._   Katie missed being babied on sick days.

“You can’t come over, you’d get sick.”

“I don’t know about that.  I’ve got a pretty strong constitution.”

“You’d make everyone at Forrester sick, too.  As it is, this bug is doing a number on the staff at Spencer. Half the office is out and even more are walking around like zombies with a head cold.  Productivity is nil this week.”

“Next week will be better.”

Katie felt a miniscule smile take up residence on her face.  “You’ll see to it?”

“I’m not _that_ good, but I know a thing or two about the common cold. It’ll wear itself out soon enough.  What about Will? You need me to pick him up?”

“Donna got him from daycare after I went home for the day.  I didn’t want to risk him catching what I’ve got.  It could be dangerous at his age.  She’ll keep him until I’m up and around again, which I’m hoping to be by Saturday.”

“Don’t push it. Give yourself enough time to recover or you’ll be right back where you started on Sunday.”

“I hate it when you’re the voice of reason.”

“Since it rarely happens, you won’t have to get used to it.  I’m bringing soup: beef or chicken?”

If she had to have company, she could envision worse.  “Vegetarian.”

“Done.  I’ll see you in a few.”

“Ridge, you don’t have to stay with me.  I’ll be miserable company feeling like this.”

“I want to.  I didn’t get my daily dose of Katie.  You’re a hard habit to break.”

Contrary to chills wracking her body, Katie was warmed.  She wiped her nose.

“I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

“I hate it when you do that.”

“If you’re so worried, you’d better hurry over—and bring Kleenex, all the boxes you can get your hands on.”

He hummed, obviously entertained by her grievous suffering.  _Devious bastard._ “I will.  See you soon.”

“See ya.”

**…**

Katie delayed crawling out of her sickbed for as long as she possibly could.  When the smell of steamed veggies and herbs wafted into her burrow, she poked out her head to listen.  Down below she heard familiar footsteps padding to and fro on the ground floor of the house.

“Honey, you want me to come up there?”

Her throat made a hash of her reply. _So much for shouting._

Katie trundled downstairs bundled up in her comforter to find Ridge setting out bags of Styrofoam takeout containers and plastic utensils in front of the TV.

“Not very green of me, but I didn’t figure either of us’d be up to doing the dishes.  Vegetarian soup for you, étouffée for me.”

“You’re torturing me.”  Katie’s mouth watered at the smell of his food even as her stomach pitched a fit.  _Self-control. Keep it together._

“When you’re feeling like your old self, I’ll take you out to this place the couture staff recommended.  They make the best Cajun cuisine this side of the Louisiana-Texas border.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I don’t do that anymore.  Come over here and sit down before you faint.”

Katie relocated to the sofa, mummifying herself in yards of down till only her head and hands were visible.

“Got your tissue.” He sat a box in arm’s reach.  “I also picked up some cough medicine. Wasn’t sure if you’re allowed the OTC stuff, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to bring.”

“You thought of everything.”  Katie pushed the remote in his direction.  “Pull up a patch of couch.  I’m not moving.”

“You’re letting me control the remote?”

“Don’t let it go to your head.  I can’t focus on the buttons.”

“Okay, it’s your pick.”

Ridge filled the space beside her nicely, if closer than she would have expected him to sit of his own volition.  He cut on the television and switched to the cable guide to scroll through the available features.

Katie swept her hair back from her sweaty face.  “Where’s RJ? I thought you told me he was back from Ojai for a long weekend.”

“Brooke has him. I had dinner with Dad, but when Donna showed, I started to feel like I was intruding.”

“Eric and Donna, take three? I think it’s three.”  Her sister was convinced Eric was the one who got away.  _He doesn’t seem to have gotten very far._

“It’d be nice if it worked out.”  Ridge flipped through Just Released previews and let them play through on mute.  “I’m at a loose end when my kid’s not with me.  How pathetic is that?”

 Katie blotted her stinging nose.  “Will knows more of my innermost fears than anybody my own age.  He doesn’t judge me.  There are times when the unconditional love of a child is the only truly _genuine_ emotion in the world.  It’s healing.”  Katie took her bowl of soup and tucked in.  She purred in satisfaction.  _If I weren’t sick I could kiss him for bringing me this._   She could eat an entire pot.

Ridge made a like meal of his étouffé, crossing his legs to situate the bowl.  Katie vowed to steal the rest from him if he didn’t finish the lot.

“Wise words.  True ones.  RJ was a good distraction once I had him with me.  Helped me to see the world sans inhibition.  He’s not jaded the way I am—I wasn’t aware of how ugly it had gotten in my head till he pointed out the good I wasn’t able to see.  The bitterness…doesn’t bear mentioning.”

“Bitterness, my old friend.”

“We’re not going to be bitter.  We’ve got too much to be thankful for.  You’re mother to a beautiful boy, a respected CEO, and you have your health.  I’ve got my children and Forrester and a friend in you.  Bitterness can take a hike.”

“That’s easier said than done.  I’ve gotten attached to that anger.  How do you let go of it when it’s become a sustaining force?”  Katie didn’t want to see what he thought of what she was saying.  She watched the trailer of another sequel to a movie she hadn’t seen in the first place flash past, idly spinning her spoon in hand.  “Being angry is an addiction. If I just stay angry I won’t have a chance to be depressed.  The regret can’t catch up to me if hold onto that anger to get me through the day.  What comes after that?”

Ridge stretched his legs to rest on her coffee table.

“Nobody kicks an addiction cold turkey.  You kick it in stages, you wean yourself from needing it all the time to some of the time, to as little possible, to none.  Swap out the fury, replace it.  Face it and let it go.  Good stuff will come to fill up the empty places.  Take love.  Love can be a remedy.”

“Love did all the damage.  How can it begin to fix it?”

Ridge looked at her askance, understanding etched on his features.  “Love’s funny like that.”

“I guess it is.” She rolled her neck, feeling heat creeping upward and not knowing whether that was fever or a flush.  These deep talks were exhausting, more so when her emotional reserves were down to the dregs.  Katie was bone tired.  _It’s beginning to show._

“Go ahead, lean on me.  Take the strain off your back.”  Ridge raised his arm in invitation.

 _Sure, it’s been that kind of day._ She set aside her soup to make the most of the carte blanche she had in his personal bubble and migrated, cover and all, to under his arm.  Physical boundaries were of little consequence as it was; still, it was nice to have someone to lean on again.

Having known him all this time, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Ridge was more strapping than he looked.  He’d gained some weight; she hadn’t suspected how much of it was muscle.  She poked his shoulder till he batted her hand.

“I told you, I’m built like an ox.”

Katie looked him over.

“It’s a metaphor.”

She smiled to herself.  “Sure it is.”

“Keep that up, I’ll take my soup and go home.”

“Who’d watch Vanilla Sky with me if you weren’t here?”

He began to look pained.

“Vanilla…Sky?”

“You said it was my pick.”

“Can’t we watch something else? Anything else? A silent film, maybe.  Die Hard?”

Katie would not be moved.  “Which one of us is sick here?”

“If I have to watch that crap, we both might be.”

“My TV, my rules.”

“If I wasn’t so crazy about you, I’d be out of here.”

Katie’s borrowed heart flipped.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

They watched the movie.  Ridge nodded off around twenty minutes in.  Katie’s meds had her out like a light by twenty-five.  When she woke up swaddled in covers with Ridge’s arms still around her, she didn’t protest.    She hadn’t slept this comfortably in months.

The nighttime news was playing and the food was put away.  There wasn’t any mess.  _This is what a clean slate feels like.  I could have this._ Katie wiggled her toes and settled back to sleep.  Sadness was no longer her sole loyal companion.  Ridge Forrester was a contender.

**…**

Katie rose late the next morning feeling so-so.  Her congestion lingered, but the coughing and sneezing were abated.  A cardigan smothered the tremors from her frame.  Memories lightened her mood.

She’d woken on her own to a silent living room where a low flame burned in the fireplace.  The TV was off, the lights dimmed to a mere haze.  She’d kicked off her comforter to allay her sweltering discontent and found a note on yellow legal paper on the coffee table:

_Had a great time._

_Gone to FC._

_Get well.  Miss you._

_Ridge_

Katie had mulled over those words throughout her day and not come to any solid conclusions.  _He misses me.  How could he miss me already?_   Ridge remained a mystery to the woman in whom he confided the most.  _What are you hiding?_

By evening Katie felt fine.  She put out the trash and disinfected the house, taking special care to wash Will’s soft toys.  Bill used to call her anal for being so particular about cleanliness where Will was concerned.  He used to say, “Kids are resilient. Don’t worry so much.”  _Well, he has three sons. I only have one.  I will not lose my son to a childhood illness._ She accepted her paranoia.

Katie spent the rest of Thursday and much of Friday fighting off the last of her symptoms and reviewing Liam and Adele’s reports on the meetings she’d missed in the latter half of the week.  Facetime videos from Donna kept her spirits up.  Disgruntled texts from Ridge in meetings he didn’t care to be at lifted them higher after she had Will home.

To: Katie

_I know more about Hope’s love life than I wanted to._

To: Ridge

_Not a family reunion w/o TMI._

To: Katie

_A cowl neckline on a bathing suit? Where did they get these interns?_

To: Ridge

_Design snob._

To: Katie

_Not snobbery. The voice of experience._

To: Ridge

To: Katie

_See if I bring you soup again._

To: Ridge

_I’m back at fighting strength. I don’t need it._

Katie’s ringtone sounded a minute later.

“I thought you were in a meeting.”

“I’m the boss in this department.  The meeting’s adjourned when I say it is.”

“Somebody’s drunk with power.”

She heard a door shut.  She presumed it was his office door.

 “More like afraid for the future of fashion design.  Where did these kids study? Who were their mentors? I want names.  Somebody’s gotta be held accountable.”

“Snob.”

“Not getting into that again.  Anyway, you’re all better now. What’s the plan?”

Katie watched Will re-familiarize himself with his play area.

 “I’m going to spend some quality time with Will.  I’ve grown accustomed to it being the two of us—and he has, too. I don’t want to disrupt his routine any more than I have already.”

“Will’s fortunate to have you.”

“The same for you and RJ.”

“Ah, I do all right.  Okay, I’ve got a meeting to prepare for. Talk to you soon.”

“Be gentle with them.  They’re just kids, they’re not as good as you yet.”

“No excuse,” he rumbled, teasing.

“Bye.”

“Later.”

Katie tossed her phone on the couch and got up to rejoin her son on the floor.

“How’s my big boy?”  Will waved a toy block.  “Did you have fun with Aunt Donna?  I bet you had fun.”  She handed him a second block.  He stacked it haphazardly on top of the first.  “I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.  Me and Uncle Ridge watched a movie and ate cookies and that was fun, but it wasn’t the same when you weren’t here.”  She stroked Will’s cheek.  “He sends his love.”  Will hid his face.

“Mommy’s got a little problem, Will.  Aunt Brooke would say Mommy has a lot of problems--you’ll hear her say that.  Don’t mind her. I don’t.”

Katie twisted her diamond ring.

“Mommy’s made a friend and she has feelings for her friend that aren’t very friendly.  You’d think Mommy would learn.  She never does.”

Will stood and toddled over to hand her his trusty duck. 

She took his beloved stuffed mallard and hugged it to her chest.

“Is this for me?  Oh, thank you.  I’ll love him and take care of him.”

Will came right back to repossess his duck pal.

“You’re breaking my heart, honey.  I loved that duck.”

Will went to resume his play, stacking his blocks with one hand whilst stroking his duck with the other.  He babbled to it in half-intelligible contentment all the while.

“That’s what worries me.  He could give me everything and take it back anytime.”

**…**

Monday was Katie’s first full day back at the office.  She felt good.  Ridge had surprised her with a delivery of the étouffée she’d been coveting the night he came to visit.  _He’s spoiling me.  If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was wooing me._   Bill had been the last one to lavish her with this level of attention.  She shook her head and let the thought float away.  _I can’t be getting sidetracked by fantasies.  They’re fantasies for a reason._

“Do you have any idea what you’re getting yourself into?”

Katie spun around to see Brooke standing in front of her desk.  Adele was at the door, her face apologetic.  _Storming past my assistant, Brooke?  Have phones become passé in the last five minutes?_

“You came here to talk to me. At least tell me what we’re talking about.”

“You and Ridge.”

“Me and Ridge? There is no me and Ridge.”  Whatever thoughts might percolate in Katie’s mind at odd moments.

“That’s not what the tabloids think.”

Brooke tossed a full-color magazine onto her desk.  It was bent back to a page in the middle.

 _‘Forrester Playboy & Spencer CEO Canoodle In Secrecy?’ _headlined pictures of Katie and Ridge on their many outings in L.A.  The carnival with their sons and various meals at Café Russe.  A walk in the park where they’d happened to meet.  There was even a snapshot of her in his car that day at Brooke’s.  _We’ve been watched for weeks._   Nonetheless, Katie could say with complete honesty that the gossip rag had gotten it all wrong.

“The tabloids are garbage by definition.  The stories they make up are more interesting than my life has been in months.”

“I just want you to think about RJ and Will, and even what Bill would think.”

“This is you overstepping.  You have a hell of a lot of nerve defending my ex-husband’s feelings to me.”

Brooke stood on her honor, shoulders thrown back and head held high.  _Doesn’t she always?_

“I’m saying this because nobody else is willing to.”

“But what are you saying, Brooke?  Are you saying I should be on the lookout for Ridge’s nefarious intentions?”

“He has been known to manipulate other women to get back at me. This is in his wheelhouse.”

“Okay, sure it is.  I know this story. I’ve lived it with you.  This isn’t like that.  The worst Ridge has done to me is bring me soup when I’m sick. He took me and the boys to the carnival for Valentine’s Day—scary, right? How about the way he holds me when I get upset?  He makes me feel like crying doesn’t make me a weak person. Me?  Can you imagine that?  And you’re saying I shouldn’t trust him.”

“Tread carefully.  You don’t want to get in the middle of this.”

“I’ve done nothing but watch my step.  Don’t pretend this is anything but an attempt on your part to keep something that _isn’t_ happening from happening.  There is no me and Ridge.” 

She’d thought for a moment, there might be, but nothing had come of it.  Evidently, nothing would on Brooke’s watch.

“Not if you’re careful.”

“Why should I be?”

“Because you’re not me.”

“And you will never let me forget it.  No matter what I do or what I accomplish or who loves me, I am always a distant third to you and to Donna.  Thank you for reminding me.”

“I’m trying to do what a good sister would do and protect you.”

“Sure, that sounds exactly like you.  It’s purely coincidental that the ‘sisterly’ thing to do is to protect your territory.”

“You’re jealous of what Ridge and I have.  It’s obvious.  You’ve always been jealous of me.  You’re using this chance to take your revenge on me.  Bravo, Katie.  You wear the deceit better than I anticipated.  Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?  You’ve won.”

Katie stared up at her sister, incredulous.

“Are you insane?  I haven’t won. I haven’t competed against you.  When Ridge is with me, that’s where Ridge is choosing to be.  When Ridge is with me and our sons, that is where he has chosen to be.  I have never ransomed RJ’s presence or Will’s to get Ridge’s attention—I don’t have that power, Brooke.  He has no more loyalty to me than he might have for Hope or Rick.  Our bond was through you first.  Everything after that has been a _choice_ and it’s one we both made.  To be friends. To support each other. To build a support system so our sons can always feel safe and secure.  If anything, I did what you should have been doing while you were flaunting your wares at my best, _best_ friend and making eyes at my husband after you swore you were through with him.”

Katie hadn’t meant to go on for so long.  _Not anymore.  I’m done with this._   Katie pursed her lips and sat down on realizing she’d jumped up in her anger.  _No more._

Brooke, who looked horribly offended, scoffed.  “You’ll get hurt.”

Katie pinched the bridge of her nose, deflated.

“And I’m sure you’ll be there to offer your sympathy.  It will sound like gloating because it always sounds like gloating, but you’ll be there, because that’s what sisters do, right?  I don’t need your warnings, Brooke.  I’ve had enough experience to last me a lifetime.”

“Revenge isn’t you, Katie. Revenge is me.  You’re thoughtful and conscientious; you do the right thing.  This is me, not you.”

“I know and that’s why nothing is happening despite the fact it could be.  I’m just not you.”  Katie handed the magazine back to Brooke.  She wanted it out of sight and out of mind, along with her sister.  “I have work to do.”

Brooke nodded.  “I’ll leave you to it.”

Katie waited for her to go.

“Please think about what I said.”

Katie clamped her jaw shut.

_How can I think of anything else?_


	5. May, Pt. I

**May**

Ridge and Katie didn’t fall in love in May, but that was when everything changed.

**…**

“RJ’s coming home for summer,” Ridge announced over soft pretzels in Pan-Pacific Park.

Kate frowned amid downing another bite.  “Already?  Last time I checked, it was January and you were just packing him off to Ojai.”

Ridge groused, “I didn’t want him up there in the first place, but Brooke makes all of RJ’s schooling decisions and he was so excited to go, I didn’t wanna make waves.  None of that matters now, because he’s coming home and, if I have my way, he’s not going back.”

“Well, if I get a vote, I think it’s great he’ll be home full-time.  Will misses him.”

“Will misses the presents.”

“Will misses his big cousin and his uncle.”

Ridge shrugged.  “He’s still got me.”  Done, Ridge discarded his pretzel wrapper and wiped his hands on a handkerchief.

“And he’s very lucky to have you, but you don’t fit as easily into the blanket fort.”

Seeing Katie was finished, he did away with her trash, too, and gave his handkerchief for her to use.

“There’s a simple solution to that: we’ll have to build ‘em bigger.”

“If they get any bigger they’re going to dominate the ground floor.”

“Maybe we can get you to come inside if it gets big enough.”

There wasn’t a chance in hell.  “Not until you take down the ‘Boys Only’ sign.”

“You’re the exception.”  He made a play for her hand and they walked with theirs swinging, joined, between them.  The strength of his fingers entwined with hers made her fingers feel stronger, made her feel altogether mighty in his presence.  _‘Love can be a remedy,’_ he’d said.

“Uh uh. Make it co-ed or it’s no go. I like my hangouts equal opportunity.”

“I’ll warn RJ. You’re going to be trouble.”

“Changing the world, one nine-year-old at a time.”

“And one old man at a time.  You’ve changed me, too.”

To Katie, Ridge had grown gracefully into his age.  It had left him rugged, and solemn to first glances; a treasure trove of impressions to seconds and thirds.  Katie lived for hidden depths.

 “You’re not old.  You’re as young as you look.”

“I’m not sure how to take that.”

“Take it in whatever sense ye feel it.” 

 “You can’t dazzle me with verse, little Logan.  I know your tricks.”

“I’ve got nothing on you.”  She let herself be tucked close to his side.

“That’s what’s got me worried.  You’re sneakier than you get credit for.”

“You got it.  Don’t underestimate me.”

“I haven’t since you handed me my ass at soccer.  You’ve still got moves I haven’t seen.  You’ll have to teach me the rest.”

Katie hooked her thumb in his belt loop to give herself something to hold onto.

“A girl’s gotta keep some mystery about her.”

“Just some?  Katie Logan, you’re all mystery.”

“Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Coming from me, you’ll get nothing less.”

They walked to the stone bleachers to watch a three-piece band perform on the round.

“Forrester’s having another gala.”

“Do you people do anything besides throw parties?”

“Not often.  Occasionally, we work.  There are more orgies in the steam room than we admit, but we somehow get everything done before the deadline.”

“I can’t tell if you’re joking.  Remind me to never use the sauna over there.”

“Missing out on good times.”

“I couldn’t afford the clinic bill.”

“So…gala?”

“What’s it for?”

“The Forrester ‘Make Your Fate’ gala for the Hope line.”

“I’m intrigued.  Tell me more.”

“ _Carpe diem._ We’re promoting the idea of seizing the day and going after whatever it is you want.  Follow your dreams; embrace your every desire.  Carpe diem for this day shall never return.”

“Sounds like you have the makings of a runaway success.”

“If we play our cards right, sure.  Which is why I want you to come with me to the big event. I went stag last time and people haven’t stopped trying to set me up since.  I’m tired of the questions.  Be my date and scare off all the eligible bachelorettes before I accidentally find myself engaged to a model that’s half my age.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“That’s for you to decide.  _Carpe noctem_ , Katie.”

“An evening on the arm of a handsome man or an evening on my couch with a plate of Swiss chocolate brownies and a Law & Order marathon. Tough one.”

“Now, you’re making me wish I was hanging out at your place instead of going to this thing.  Invite me over, I’ll bring the good wine.”

“Ridge Forrester miss a party?  The Mayans got it wrong. This is the end of the world as we know it.”

“Still waiting for that invitation.”

“Consider yourself invited.”

Ridge bent down to brush a kiss across her cheek.

“Thank you.”

Katie smiled up at him, enjoying the sheer delight of being close to him.  The wafting scent of his spiced cologne made her feel like she was in some sort of dream, floating.  The music added to surrealism of the moment.  If he kissed her right this instant, she’d know she must have nodded off on his shoulder as she tended to do when their evenings grew hazy and quiet.  _This doesn’t happen to me, not when I’m awake._

Ridge skimmed his fingertips over her exposed collarbones as if they were a page in his tablet.  Ridge had come back from Paris armed with an appreciation for human contact he’d never shown.  This sense of being a human canvas for drawings she couldn’t see had become the norm.  She swayed into that touch all the same.

“You’ll have to come up with a good excuse for not going.”

“I’ll say I got a better offer.  I won’t be lying.”

“Charmer.”

“For you, anything.”

He tipped his head to kiss her cheek again.  His lips were soft on her skin, countered by the roughness of the stubble on his chin.  He coaxed her closer till she was flush against his chest.  She outlined his bicep through his shirt.  He was all ropey strength, strength that he’d lent to her this year.

“Find something you like?”

 Katie pinched him.  “I like _this_.”

“Good to know.”

Katie was a bolder woman in his arms than she was anyplace else.  _When you get sick of being timid, all that’s left to be is bold._

She cupped the back of his neck, ruffling the short hairs her fingers found.

“What are you thinking?”

“Just that life is strange.  I couldn’t have imagined a year ago that you would become my most trusted confidant.  It’s just—it’s _strange_.”

“The man I was a year ago wouldn’t have been anything like that.  He wouldn’t have known the first thing about it. His head was in a weird space.  He eventually found solace in work and in art and people, again.  I found it in you.  When you find that, you have to give it back.”

“Is that a rule?”

“It’s my rule.”  Ridge traced the curve of her smile with his thumb.  “You gave me everything.  This is just the beginning of everything I plan to give you.”

Ridge nudged her chin and ever so gently brushed his lips against hers.   Little more than a peck, it made Katie keenly aware of the pleasure destiny had denied her in this life.  But maybe it wouldn’t always.

Katie stroked his face.

“What am I going to do with you?”

“I can think of a lot of things we could do.  Come here.”

Giggling, Katie wrapped her arms around his neck.  _This feels right and yet…_

Ridge’s cellphone vibrated, jarring Katie from her thoughts.

He swore.

She huffed, resting her forehead against his shoulder.  _It was too good to be true._

“See who it is.”

“Nobody I want to talk to at the moment.”

“Maybe, maybe not.”  She wouldn’t put it past her sister to just _know._

Katie’s phone took this as its cue to sound.

“ _Damn it_.”

“See how annoying that is.”

“Worst invention ever.”  She pulled it out of her handbag to check the display.  “It’s Donna. We’re supposed to be having lunch.”

“Give her my best.” The growl of displeasure resounding in his chest belied the understanding he was trying to convey.

“I’ll do that.”

He kissed her hands as he told her goodbye.

She let him go.

…

Katie was giggling with Donna over Caroline stealing food off their plates when a waiter approached their table carrying an ivory vase overflowing with flower blossoms.

“Miss Spencer,” the waiter asked, uncertain. The women shared a look. _He must be a new one._

“Logan Spencer or Spencer-Forrester?”

The sweating waiter was immediately alarmed.  _Poor guy._

“You can leave it with us, we’ll figure it out.”

Donna zeroed in on the quality of the flowers at once.  “Somebody’s been good this year. Bluebells, calla lilies, and baby’s breath.  It’s not red roses, but they’re very well-cut.”  Donna tipped her head.  “So to speak.”

Caroline took out her phone.  “Let me look up what they mean.”

“They’re flowers, Caroline.”

“Come on, Aunt Katie.  I know you’re into romance.  What’s more romantic than the language of flowers?  Don’t you wanna know somebody was trying to say?”

“Why Google when we can just read the card?”  Donna plucked it from among the blooms.

“Shouldn’t we find out who they’re for first?”

“We have two possible candidates.  What better way to find out than reading the card?”  Donna did just that.  She covered her mouth.  “Aww. This must be for you.”  She handed the card to Katie.

Katie touched her chest.  There was a small wallet-sized photo of Will, RJ, and Ridge.

_‘To you who have enriched our lives in every way.  From sun-strewn afternoons to twilight matinees to pure unbridled motherly love.  Happy Mother’s Day, Katie._

_Love, Your Boys_

 She squinted at the picture wondering just when they would have gotten together to take it.  _The duck!_   Will was holding his duck, only it didn’t yet have his name stitched on the back.  _That must have been Valentine’s Day.  Ridge must have planned this._

“Wow.”

“Looks like you’ve got some not-so-secret admirers.”  Katie ignored everything implied by Donna’s tone.  She’d be hearing from Brooke about it soon enough.

“I’m a lucky girl.”

Caroline started to tear up.  “You really are.”

Katie put the note in her purse and reached for her suddenly tearful niece.

“Honey, why are you crying?”

Caroline fanned her eyes, trying to preserve her eyeliner.  “Don’t worry, they’re happy tears.  I guess I just miss the moms today. I need to send them Happy Mother’s Day texts.”

Donna rubbed her shoulder.  “You do that.”

She raised a perplexed eyebrow at Katie who shrugged.  _Mood swings and increased appetite.  Looks like the Spencer-Forrester branch of this family tree might be set to grow._   Call it a feeling.  _That will be the best-dressed child Forrester has ever seen._ Katie would be the first to pick up a gift off the registry.

“Caroline, have you and my nephew talked about kids?”

“Not yet. It hasn’t really come up.”

Donna took it from there.

“Maybe it’s time it did.”

**…**

On getting in her chauffeured car to return to Spencer, Katie dialed ‘3’ on her speed dial and got Ridge.

“Forrester.”

“A lovely bouquet was delivered to me at lunch today with a picture of three dashing men in it.  I thought it must be my birthday, but my birthday isn’t for another two weeks.  Any idea who the mastermind of this little gift might be?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Likely story.”

“It was worth a try.  Do you know how inconvenient your birthday is?  I couldn’t decide if we should wait and skip Mother’s Day or just celebrate twice.”

“I don’t need a party to celebrate my maternity. I’ve got the best gift I could have for that: Will.”

“You deserve that party.”

“What I deserve doesn’t concern me; I’m too busy being grateful for what I already have.”

“I’m going to get you to go dancing with me one of these days.”

“One of these days, I’m going to let you.”

“Happy Mother’s Day, Katie Logan.”

“It’s been much happier than I anticipated.”

“You shouldn’t have doubted me.  I told you. I don’t make promises I can’t keep anymore.”

“I like this new you.  You’d better not go anywhere.”

“You have my word.”

**…**

Katie placed the picture in a position of honor on her desk, right beside a photo of herself holding a newborn Will.  _This is my family._    She wouldn’t let anyone tell her otherwise.

She made it through the rest of her day, unimpeded by the drama that seemed to be overtaking her family at every turn.  Will was happy. RJ and Ridge were happy.  Her sisters were getting by.   She wasn’t about to take the lull for granted.

Her contentedness was only cemented by a text she received from Caroline:

To: Aunt K, Aunt D

_You were right!!!! #BabyOnBoard_

To: Caroline

_Happy Mother’s Day, sweetie._

Katie received in reply what could only be termed as celebratory keyboard smash.  She decided not to ask.

There was one last minute logistics meeting that required Katie’s presence, then she was off to enjoy an evening with a good book and a bubble bath to keep her occupied whilst Will spent the night at Liam’s with Bill.  _Company has its rewards, but there’s nothing like the sound of silence to soothe the soul._

She’d thought she was off, at any rate.

Katie rose to greet her niece.  _Serves me right for sending Adele home early._

“Hope, is everything okay?”

The girl was obviously anxious.  She was twisting her hands and trying to smile.

“Yeah, everything’s okay.”  Hope sighed and closed her eyes.  “No, it’s not.  There’s something wrong and I hope you can help me fix it.”

“I can try. What is it?”

“You and Ridge.”

 _Déjà vu._   Katie seemed to spend more and more of her life discussing something that didn’t exist. “Did your mother put you up to this?”

“No.  She’d probably be upset if she knew I was here.  She’s been obsessing over the two of you for weeks.  I keep telling her she doesn’t have anything to worry about, but she won’t believe me.  Donna doesn’t seem convinced either.  What’s going on?”

Katie blew a lock of hair that had fallen into her eyes out of her face.

“Nothing’s going on.  I told Brooke that there’s nothing going on.  Ridge and I are friends—good friends, close friends even, but only friends.”  _Friends who almost kiss, sure._

“Has she had any reason to think there might be something more between you two?”

“I can’t predict what Brooke would consider a compelling sign of romance.  She’s my sister, but your mom is one of a kind.”

“Very true.”  Hope swept her bangs aside.  “She’s really upset.”  _Donna must have mentioned the bouquet._

“And I’m sorry for that.  In spite of what’s happened, I don’t want to hurt her.  I just don’t have the capacity to fix what isn’t broken.  Ridge is my friend.  Maybe even my best friend since he came back.  That’s the truth.”

“Are you positive there’s nothing else?”

“Ridge and I spend a lot of time together.  I can’t say there’s nothing.  He’s a handsome, loving guy; I’d have to be dead not to be attracted to him.  That doesn’t mean we’re about to start some legendary love affair.  I don’t think that’s in the cards for me.”

Hope started to look guilty.  _Why does everyone feel guilty when I’m supposedly the one to blame?_

“Don’t count yourself out.  True love tends to knock when you’ve given up listening.”

“Is this you giving me the benefit of your twenty-one year old wisdom?”

Hope smiled, wistful.  “If you ignore everything else I have to say, please think about this:  If this whatever it is turns into something real…be honest with yourself.  I know how hard it is to follow your heart when it’s leading you someplace you’re not sure you’re ready to go.  Take it from me, you’ll be glad you went along with it.”

Katie departed for home unsure what to make of the talk she’d had with her niece.  Every so often, Hope would show that there was more to her than the Logan blood thrumming in her veins.  _May she grow to be a better woman than all of us so far._


	6. May, Pt. II

The end of the month saw Katie unburdening her nephew RJ of the shopping bags he’d toted into her house.

“What’s all this for?”

“Can’t tell you.  It’s all part of The Plan.”  The capital letters were implied.

“Oh, right.  The Plan.”  Katie winked conspiratorially.  “Where should I put this precious cargo?”

“Um, the kitchen sounds good.”

“So I can expect food?”

RJ beamed a mischievous beam.  _He gets that from his dad.  The Forrester men are plotting._

“Maybe I’m just having you put that stuff in there to get you out of the way.”  _Very canny, my nephew._

“ _Could be_.  Guess we’ll see who’s got who figured out, huh?”

“Guess so.”

Katie left her nephew and his father to their machinations to leave the bags he’d brought in on the kitchen counter.  The second-long peek she’d granted herself had revealed an assemblage of baking ingredients.  _They’re going to try to bake.  My kitchen may not survive the night._   She hid the largest of her knifes in the back of the pantry, beside the honey.  _Boys, knives, fire. I have to limit the damage where I can._

She returned to the foyer to find her nephew messing with his phone. Still no Ridge.

“I should go help your dad.”

RJ jumped in front of the door.  “You can’t!  Dad said that birthday girls have to sit.  It’s in the rules.”

“Oh, the rules.  I’d hate to break one of those.”  Katie folded a leg under her and made herself comfortable on the couch.  _Those rules of his…and those lips._   She’d thought of that almost-kiss often this month.  Hope’s imprecation, Brooke’s warning, and Ridge’s vows to her warred in her thoughts.  _If this isn’t revenge, what could it be?_ Wary of the dangerous turn her thoughts had taken, Katie decided to make distract herself.

“So, what’d you do for your mom for Mother’s Day?”

“Me and Dad made her pancakes with strawberries for breakfast.”

“You’re gonna make me jealous.  I love pancakes and strawberries, especially with chocolate sauce.”

“Mom liked ‘em, too.  She started crying.” 

 _Out of both eyes?_   Katie immediately berated herself.  _It’s not Brooke’s fault that melodramatic is her default setting.  That’s Brooke._

“I bet those were happy tears.”

“That’s what she said.” RJ shrugged.  “But Dad didn’t seem that happy.”

“Your dad can pretty hard to read.  I bet he was happy on the inside.”

Ridge graced them with his presence at last, kneeing the cracked door open to enter, arms laden, a tied pastry box in one hand and another couple of shopping bags weighing down the other.

“She stayed here the whole time Dad.  Just like you said.”

“Way to go, kid.  Tell her the next rule.”

“Birthday girls wear the crown.”  RJ rummaged around in one of the bags hanging off his father’s arm to produce of pink and silver foil tiara.  _It’s not diamonds and platinum, but I think it will do._

“Is that for me?”

“Yup.  Need help putting it on?”

“I think I’ve got it.”  Katie carefully slid the comb end pieces into her hair to anchor the crown to her head.  “How do I look?”  Katie posed dramatically.

“Like a queen.”

“And me without my scepter.”

“Sit down and put your feet up. This is your night, we’re gonna take care of you.”

“Should I order pizza?”

“I ordered for us.”

“Did you?”  She raised a sardonic brow.  Katie liked to be wooed; she also liked to be consulted about things.

“ _Maybe_ I should have run that by you first.”

“Might have been nice.”

“Next time.”  _How many next times is he expecting?_   Katie tried to maintain a stern mien.  His smug grin said she was failing spectacularly.

“You get one pass. Don’t screw it up.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

A sound from the baby monitor alerted Katie that Will had risen from his afternoon nap.  She left the Forrester men to sort themselves out and went to retrieve her son from the nursery.

She picked him up from his crib and carried him to the changing table to clean him up.

“We have visitors.  Ridge and RJ are here and it looks we’re going to have some yummy, yummy cake tonight.”

Will shook one of his toys, quietly gleeful.

“We’re gonna have a good time for Mommy’s birthday.  It’s going to be the best birthday ever.”  She blew a raspberry on his belly and laughed herself when he squealed.

“That’s my baby.  Let’s go have some fun. “

Will noticed her crown on the journey downstairs and tried to yank it from her head.

“Not the crown, Will.  That’s attached to Mommy’s hair. Ouch!”

“And here I thought he was all Logan.”  Ridge and RJ were watching the goings-on with equal amusement.

Katie glared at Ridge but kept trying to detach her son from the tiara _these_ very troublemakers had given her.  She managed to distract Will by shaking his toy in the other direction, then quickly setting him on the floor.

“Now that the entertainment portion of the evening is done, the best part begins.”  Ridge stroked her arm.  It was bolts of lightning all over again.

“Don’t worry about the kitchen.  I’ll clean up the mess.”  He lowered his voice a little.  “I asked Pam to bake us a spare in case we set your stove on fire.”

“Can we skip the four-alarm fire and eat that?”

Ridge affected a hangdog air.

“Am I supposed to give you permission to wreck my kitchen because I think you’re cute?”

“You think I’m cute?”

Katie refused to get into just what she thought of him.

“Get out of my sight, Forrester, and take Junior with you.”  She grinned over RJ’s offended exclamation.

“We gotta take Will along.  A man’s not a man till he learns how to bake.”

Kate fanned her face in mild apprehension, nodding.  “Whatever you want, just don’t traumatize my kid.”

Ridge settled Will on his hip.  “You say trauma, I say childhood memories.”

_How does anybody in this family make the distinction?_

The trio trooped toward the kitchen like men on a mission.

Katie needed a diversion.  She sorted through the mail to kill a couple of minutes before she insisted on taking over in the kitchen lest her cake come out chockfull of sugar and chocolate chips.  _Lest it doesn’t!_

There were a couple of bills. A letter from her attorney, which she made a note to read after she’d put Will to bed and had copious glasses of wine.  There was a funding leaflet for a local animal shelter.  Katie was a lifelong sucker for puppy dog eyes.  _My taste in men in a nutshell._

Katie was contemplating her recent change of fortune in that regard when she heard a knock at her front door.  She’d spoken to each of her sisters already—both had other plans but took the time to wish her well on her special day.  Brooke had even seemed sincere.  Caroline had texted, as had Liam.  She couldn’t think of anybody besides the men currently decimating her stores of flour and eggs that might go to the trouble.

She opened the door and had to take a step back to hide her shock. 

“I didn’t expect to see you today.”

Bill rocked on his heels, glancing, amused, at her tiara.

“It’s your birthday.  I figured I should make an appearance since I missed Mother’s Day.”

“Okay.  Thanks.”

She didn’t step aside to invite him in. Somehow, she didn’t think the house could withstand Ridge Forrester and Bill Spencer under its roof simultaneously.

“How was Mother’s Day?  Did you do anything nice?”

“Yeah.  Caroline and Donna took me out for lunch.  I had dinner with a friend.”

His brows rose.  “A _man_ …friend?”

Katie crossed her arms, defensive and unsure why she ought to be.

“Yes, a man friend.”  _Are we twelve?_   “Bill, what’s this about?”  Their divorce had become final in the latter days of February.  Katie had mourned on that day, to be sure, though not more than she’d sighed in relief.

“Nothing.”  Bill settled his hands in his trouser pockets.  “I’ve been hearing things.  You know how it is.  This whole town’s a bunch of gossips.  They love a hint of scandal.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I’ve been hearing you and _Forrester_ might be mixing it up.  I wanted to hear it from you.”

“My relationship with Ridge isn’t something I feel comfortable discussing with you.”

“So long as you have my son, you don’t have much of a choice.”

Katie braced herself against the doorframe. _Don’t get mad. You’re the reasonable one._   “Voice your concerns.  I’ll try to answer them.”

“I don’t like Forrester and I don’t like him around Will.”

“It’s a good thing you don’t have primary physical custody of Will, then, since he _adores_ Ridge.”

“ _Katie_ ,” he countered in a warning tone.

“Don’t _Katie_ me, Bill.  I don’t need your permission to spend time with a man who has been a part of my life for decades.  Ridge isn’t going anywhere.”

“That’s what he’s told Brooke, how many times now?  Brooke’s got me to catch her when he fails.  Who’ve you got?”

“Nobody.  You made sure of that.”

“You’re still pissed.”  He had the nerve to sound surprised.

“I was angry until very recently.  You blew up the family we built, that you claimed to care about—not once but twice!  Then, you had the unmitigated gall to come crawling back to me.  You used me, and then you tried to use me again to curry favor with my sister.”

“It wasn’t like that!”

“So you didn’t go running to Brooke the minute your plan to _magnanimously_ put our family back together after all those months failed to come together?” 

Bill cleared his throat and refused to look at her.

“No need to be shy, tell me what’s on your mind.  You and Brooke didn’t hesitate to tell me I was keeping you from starting your life together; don’t hold back now that you want to tell me how it ended.”

“It’s not over yet.  I’ll get her back.”

“Last I heard, Brooke was launching her umpteenth campaign to ‘win’ Ridge’s heart.  Between repeated, _failed_ attempts at seduction and ear-shattering declarations of destiny, I’m just not sure when she’s going to be free to watch you plead your case.”

“I didn’t come here to fight with you.  I have perfectly valid reservations about you letting that certified loser flounce around our son.”

Katie hummed.  “I’m not going to touch that one.  Why are you really here?”

“Forrester is bad news.  Brooke hasn’t figured that out, but I thought you were smart enough to know better.”

 _It just keeps getting better_.  “My god, Bill. You expected me to take you back after you tricked me into giving you everything you wanted.  I know you thought of me as a princess, but I didn’t realize you thought I was an idiot.”

“You’re one of the smartest women I’ve ever met.  Don’t give me reason to doubt that by hooking up with the fancy dressmaker.”

“Spending time with a man who cherishes me doesn’t strike me as a stupid thing to do.”

“He’s cherished every woman he’s ever loved.  Ask Brooke.  What about Taylor?  What about Bridget?”

“What about Steffy?  Quinn?  Donna?  Should I call them and ask how chivalrous you were when you were seducing them?’

“If things had never gone down the way they did, you’d be as against Ridge and Brooke getting back together as I am.”

“You got one thing right: I am against the two of them trying again.  They don’t work.  They haven’t worked yet and that means something.  Having said that, I think they have the right to figure that out for themselves.  They’re capable of coming to that conclusion on their own.”

“Maybe they’re not.”

“Then, they’re not.”

“He’s stringing you along.”

“I’m not the one pining after someone who doesn’t give me the time of day.  That would be you.”

“She’ll come back to me.  I know she loves me.”

“Does the strength of your convictions keep you warm at night?  I know Brooke isn’t around to do the job, though maybe if you whistled…”

Bill leaned in close over the threshold.  “This bitterness isn’t a good look for you.”

Katie leaned in till she could see the deep dark brown of his eyes.  “I’m done being bitter.  I’ve got too much to celebrate.  It was nice of you to visit, Bill.  I assume you don’t want to see our son at the moment.”

“Not today.  Just wanted to make my feelings known.”

“You’ve certainly done that.  Congratulations.  Enjoy sleeping alone.”

Katie shut the door in his face.

_He couldn’t just let me be happy.  He’s incapable of taking the high road._

Despite the effort she made to shake off her anger, it hung over her like a dark cloud.

She yanked off her tiara.  _Happy birthday to me._

Katie swore at herself.  She should have slammed the door in his when he showed up.  Trying to take the high road did her little good when she felt this… _small_ at the end.

She stalked around the house for a short while, picking up toys, and needlessly straightening throw pillows till she ran out of readymade mess to clean.  Frustrated, she tossed herself into a chair at the kitchen table where Ridge was reading the back of a cake mix box.

“Do I wanna know what’s put you in a mood?”

“I don’t know.  What’s brash, condescending, thinks swords are a fashion statement and just stopped by to wish me happy birthday?”

Ridge put down the box.  “Run that by me again.”

“The first letter in his name is a dollar sign.”

“Bill wished you a happy birthday.”  Ridge was disbelieving enough for two.

“My happiness isn’t on the list of things he concerns himself with anymore.  He makes that clearer all the time.”

“ _He’s the poorest rich man I know._   What’s life without love like yours?”

“He’s got love.  He’s waiting for Brooke to see him again so they can continue their epic romance for the ages.”

Ridge’s sole reply was a nonplused grunt of acknowledgement.  He wasn’t any more reasonable on the topic of Bill Spencer than Bill was when discussing him.  _God save me from men and their egos._

Ridge got down on the tile floor where Will was seated amid an explosion of crayons and construction paper Katie definitely hadn’t bought him to try his hand at hand-colored origami.  Her baby was in seventh heaven.

“You finally figure out that toddlers and flour don’t mix?”

“I plead the Fifth.”

“Uh huh.”

RJ climbed down from the stool he’d been balancing on.

“The cupcakes are ready to go in, Dad.”

Katie, who was well aware of the rules by this juncture, knew better than to venture into the culinary fray.

Ridge got up from his impromptu lecture on the fine art of making origami paper dolls for Will to put the baking pans into the oven.

“The instructions say they should be ready in twenty.  We’ll check in thirty ‘cause they’re always wrong.”  Katie envisioned twenty years of Ridge thinking he knew better than the printed instructions.  She got up to inspect the fire extinguisher she’d purchased after finding out she was pregnant.

She turned around to find RJ covered in smears of batter.  _Don’t think I can’t see you’ve gotten into the frosting, kid._   She handed him a washcloth which he used to scrub guiltily at the corner of his mouth, missing the remainder of the mess wholesale.

“Aunt Katie, can you teach me that soccer trick you used on Dad?  I wanna try it out at a game next season.”

“I don’t know.  You might need me to watch Will while you bake.”  By which she meant, ‘safeguard her kitchen from the next Forrester creation initiative.’

 Ridge interjected, all too knowingly, “Go ahead.  Will and I can handle the crayons, and I’ll keep an eye out for the ‘cakes.  I’ll make a menswear designer out of this kid yet.”

Katie smiled at them.  “In that case, I’d be happy to teach you how to kick your dad’s butt on the soccer green.”

“Something tells me that trick will be the bane of my existence the next time he and I play one-on-one.”

“Us winners have to stick together.”

“You lose one match and you’re branded a loser in perpetuity.”

“Sad but true.”                     

“It’s okay, Dad. You’re good at other stuff.”

“Sure, I am.  Get going, you two.  Don’t you know fashion is being born?”  Ridge shooed them away.

“I know when I’m beaten.  RJ, get your ball.  We can kick it around in the back.”

“Awesome.”  RJ bolted from the kitchen to retrieve his bag from the car.

“Don’t slip him any icing. I’ll know if you do.”

“How?”

“Moms know.”

On that mysterious note, Katie hightailed to the backyard to wait for RJ.

**…**

When A hand came down on her shoulder a half-hour later, Katie about jumped out of her skin and into her pool.

It was Ridge.

“Didn’t mean to startle you.”

She waved off his apology, aware that she’d been a thousand miles away for a start.

“I was saying I just put Will down for a nap.  Who knew paper dolls could be so tiring for the little guy?”

“He loves excitement, but he hasn’t got the stamina for much of it yet.”

“You okay?”

“I am.  I’m fine.  I’ve got a million things to think about and I guess I chose this moment to dwell on it.”

“If I’m distracting you, I can leave you to it.”  He looked to the green grass where RJ was working feverishly to replicate her little heel trick.

“Don’t go.”  Katie ran her hand down his arm, pulling him to sit on the edge of the pool next to her.  “I want you here.  I always want you.”

His lips twitched.

 _Damn it._ “Here! I want you here with me. You and RJ with me and Will.” Katie thought it best she stopped talking.  “Ignore all that.”

“I don’t think so.  You like having me around.  So what? There’s nothing incriminating about basking in companionship.” 

_Anything can be explained away with enough denial._

“Tell Brooke and her band of emissaries, which has expanded to include my ex-husband.”

“You know how I feel about Spencer.”

“I think everyone on the west coast is aware of your thoughts on him.”

“He was never good enough for you.”

“I thought he could be.  I wanted him and he wanted me.  I thought that could be enough.”

 “It should have been enough.” 

Katie snorted. 

“You can’t tell me anything I don’t already think about myself. I know I’m not a saint.  I’ve made a lot of mistakes.  I’ve made a fool out of myself and out of other people who didn’t deserve that kind of betrayal.  That makes me an expert at knowing a fool when I see one.  That’s Bill Spencer.”

“He is something else.  There’s not a word for it yet.”

“Doesn’t matter what you call him. He’s wrong.”  Ridge squeezed her shoulder.  “I’ve finally had the chance to see you for who you are, and I like what I see.  Like a work of art hidden in plain sight, you’ve only grown more remarkable with time.  I’m not giving you up. Spencer and I will just have to learn to coexist.”

“This would be so much easier if I were different.”  _I could have everything I want without regretting it. I could have you._   “Can you imagine?”

“I can’t.  If you were anybody else, you wouldn’t be yourself.  The people who love you don’t love this hypothetical person you wish you were, no matter how great you’ve imagined her to be.”

“You can’t know that.”

“I can.  Katie, you’re not some kind of mistake. We love _you_ , just you.”

“But _when_ did that happen?”

“Does it matter?”

“It might not. I thought I had all the answers to where my life is going and I’m coming to the realization that I haven’t got a clue.  I’m a year older and not a moment wiser.”

“There are worse ways to go about life than not having a plan.  No expectations means no disappointments. Every day becomes a chance to be surprised.”

“My family seems convinced that one more surprise will kill me.”

“Maybe they don’t know you as well as they think they do.  They’ll learn.  I did.”

She looked at him to see what he thought versus what he said.  She couldn’t spot the lie.

Ridge stood and offered her his hand.

“Let’s go in. Food’s here.”

She stood up and waved RJ over from the corner of the yard he’d claimed for his own.

“You couldn’t have said that before?”

“I like spending time with you. Sue me.”

**…**

After dinner had been devoured and the cupcakes frosted and left to set, Katie queued up a movie for the four of them to watch.  RJ insisted on having the armchair, and an entire bowl of popcorn, to himself whereas Will was content to be cuddled in Katie’s lap, nursing his sippy cup.  Ridge and she shared a bowl.

“I have no idea what we’re watching, but it’s supposed to be family friendly.”

Ridge raised a handful of popcorn in a toast.  “Here’s to new experiences.”

RJ shhhed them both and they settled down as the opening scenes began.

Partway through the movie Ridge took out a yellow legal pad and started scribbling away.  Katie noticed by the fervent scratching of pen on paper.

“Not your kind of movie?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, it is. I’ve seen it. It’s one of RJ’s favorites.”

“Do you want to switch to something you haven’t seen yet? I don’t want you get bored.”

“I couldn’t get bored with you, Katie.  You keep me interested just sitting next to me.”

“Hence the urgent shopping list writing.”

She tried to take a peek at what was so urgent only for him to tilt his notepad away from her prying eyes. 

“Not making a shopping list.”  He smirked like he had a secret.  “I’ve been inspired.”

Katie hummed, contemplative.  Ridge tended to be struck by inspiration at the oddest moments of late. 

“If it doesn’t detract from your artistic fervor, what are your and RJ’s plans for the summer?’

“We were thinking about taking a trip to Paris to see Thomas and Steffy, and maybe doing some backpacking elsewhere to celebrate his birthday.”

“Big plans for a little guy.”

“RJ knows Paris like his own backyard.  The rest is exploratory.  It’s like you and Will: I want RJ to get as much out life as he can at this age.  He won’t have this kind of free time once he’s all grown up.  You only turn ten once.”

“It’s a good idea.  But Will and I will definitely miss you.”

“You don’t have to miss us. You could come with us.”

“Come with you to Paris.”  Katie looked down at Will to hide her surprise.  “That’s an awfully big trip for Will at this age.”

“Get him vaccinated and make sure he doesn’t put any of the local garbage in his mouth.  Why should he have to wait till he can spell it to see the Eiffel Tower?”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?  I’ve been forthright this far, haven’t I?”

“I can’t seem to say no to you.”

Ridge tore out a page from his notebook and folded it up to put in his pocket.

“How about this? Think about for a couple of weeks. I’ll get you an itinerary and you check it against your obligations for the summer.  If you can make it work, you’ll think about it.  If not, no harm done. What do you say?”

“I say I’ll consider it.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear.”

Ridge carried on drawing on a new page.  Meanwhile, Will fussed more the sleepier he became.  Katie checked her watch and was saddened to see the time.  _It’s getting late._

Katie elbowed Ridge and pointed to RJ who’d nodded off in his armchair.  Ridge rescued RJ’s bowl of caramel popcorn before it could decorate the floor and covered his son with his coat.

“Baking took a lot out of him.”

“You two didn’t have to do all this for me.”

“He loves you.  He’s been having so much fun with you and Will, he wanted to thank you for including him.  That was all him.”

“Wonder where he gets that from?”

“It’s a puzzle.”

She wanted to blame the light for the darkness in Ridge’s eyes when he looked at her, but she knew better.  This was the look from January and February, and so on.  This wasn’t a revelation; this was acceptance.

Katie returned her attention to the screen where the main characters, a boy and a girl, were being reunited with their loving parents after defeating their enemies.  They’d faced world domination, but they were laughing at the end.

“I see all these people finding happiness and I wonder if I ever will.”

“You will.”  Ridge brushed RJ’s hair out of his face.  “You’re cared for and loved by many people; in all likelihood, more than you’ve noticed.”

“I notice a lot more than you give me credit for.”

Ridge swallowed hard and started to avoid her eyes.

“I should get RJ back to Brooke’s.”

“Will’s probably going to be fussy all day tomorrow.  I should get him to bed.”

Ridge roused his son.  “The car’s unlocked. I’ll be out in a little bit.”

RJ grumbled in response, fairly sleep walking toward the front steps, dwarfed in Ridge’s oversized jacket.

Katie propped Will up on the couch, where he continued to snore, and stood to see them out.

Ridge scrubbed a hand across the nape of his neck.

“I want you to know that, uh, you’ve been everything since I came home.”

Kate could make an itemized of what his friendship had meant to her—the words alone wouldn’t say enough.

“I couldn’t begin to explain what you’ve been to me.”

He took her hand and squeezed it tight.

“This is the beginning of another chapter of your life—if you want it.”

“I thought New Year’s Eve was the beginning.”

“In case I wasn’t entirely clear, I want you think of this as another start—for us.”

No ringing phone interrupted this kiss.

This wasn’t lines of lightning but lava, hot and irrepressible, skin against skin.  His hands roved across her hips and back whilst hers tangled in his inky hair.  That kiss that felt so long passed was nothing compared to this.

Once his hand—that talented, teasing hand—found its way under her sweater she had to rein herself in lest her libido get the best of her, and she the very best of him.

 _What the hell, you only live once._   She gave up and dragged his mouth to hers again. 

He groaned. She whimpered.

Will hiccupped in his sleep and they broke apart.

_I have to think._

They stood panting, brow to brow.  “That’s yours, if you want it.”

“Are you asking?  You can’t possibly think I’d say no.”

“You know what they say about assuming.”

“Shut up and kiss me again.”

Ridge swayed forward, only to bypass her lips to kiss her cheek.  He was teasing her.

Her skin didn’t care, it came alive under his touch just the same.

“I gotta get RJ home.”

Katie tried to regain her composure. She stuck her hands in her back pockets and followed him to the door.

“Drive safely.”

Ridge lingered.

“Lock the door behind us.”

“I will. Scout’s honor.”  She sucked her lip.  She could still taste him.  His eyes followed the motion. His fingers grasped at nothing at his sides.

“Did you read a book about that?”

Rolling her eyes, she pushed him firmly in the direction of the door.  “Go away before I forget why I have to let you leave.”

Growling, Ridge spun them around and pressed her against the door for one last farewell kiss.

She’d give her friend— _friend_? No something stronger, more.  Whatever Ridge Forrester was to her now, she’d give him this.  The man really knew how make an exit.


	7. June, Pt. I

**June**

Katie’s former son-in-law was her unexpected visitor of the day on Monday.  Thursday and Friday had been wall to wall conferences and teleconferences.  It wasn’t much of a way to celebrate growing old, but Katie had the memory of a kiss to keep her going strong.

He knocked on the door and steeped inside.

“Liam, I didn’t know we had a meeting scheduled. Did I miss a call from you?”  Katie scrambled to locate her phone.  This was a rare fumble as she was rarely without it.

Liam ambled into her office, making a show of taking in the décor.  She’d put up a few more pictures of the men in her life. One from her birthday showed all three of them sporting faces covered in chocolate frosting.

“I called the house—that’s where I stopped by the other night, on your birthday.  Remember that night?”

Katie swallowed, anxious.  _How could I forget?_

“You came by the house?”

Liam nodded obliquely.  “I called first, but you didn’t pick up.  I don’t know what I was thinking just showing up like that.  I had gotten your message earlier in the afternoon about wanting us to meet and I thought I’d drop by and see what was up—you know, in case I needed to clean out my office before close of business.”

“You’re not being fired.”

Liam sprawled into a chair, a picture of relief.  “Oh, thank god.  You don’t know how happy I am to hear that. I’d hate to be fired.  I really, really love my job.”

Katie enjoyed having him in her corner.

“I’m sensing a topic change is in order.”

“Yeah, I guess my question is ‘when did you and Ridge become a couple to watch?’”

“I don’t follow.” 

Liam only just reined in his visible disbelief.

“I came into the house—you should lock your doors, by the way.  I came into the house after I saw RJ waiting in the car because I figured you wouldn’t be busy.”

“Oh.”

“Mmm, yeah, I guess you can say I called that one wrong.”

“That was…”  Katie frantically sought a word to describe what Ridge’s kiss had meant to her.  None of those springing to mind were the sort she’d say out loud.

“You two have been in the society papers since February.  You can’t think this would come as a surprise to anyone.”

“Contrary to what the tabloids have been saying, this is new.  Liam, I’m not sure _what_ this is.  This could destroy my standing at Spencer.  You cannot tell anyone.”

“Who would I tell?”

“Who knows?  You can’t say anything.  Rumor is one thing, but the first hint of real scandal…”

“Ridge is single. _You_ are single.  This is a victimless crime.”

“Tell that to the next member of my family to come lecture me about whatever they think is going on between us.”

 

“They should want you to be happy.  I don’t know much about how you two work, but I know what you look like when you’re happy.  That’s the happiest you’ve been since you married my dad.”

“He’s not any happier about the situation.”

“He’s weighed in.”  Liam sighed to himself, “Of course he has.  The truth is, my dad doesn’t know when to leave well enough alone.  He’s got the life he claims to want.  He can’t contend with the idea of you and Ridge Forrester.  He can’t wrap his head around it.  Up the moment I saw you two…like _that_ , I don’t think I could either.  The cards weren’t there.”

“For me, either.  Ridge wasn’t on my radar before this year.  He was Brooke’s true love, not to be trifled with or touched.  He was her Holy Grail.  Who was I or any woman to think we could compete?”

“Something changed in Ridge while he was gone, didn’t it?  This Ridge…”  Liam gestured vaguely.  “He’s not the same.  This Ridge makes the two of you together seem _natural_. In the papers, in interviews when he mentions you—“

“Ridge mentions me?”  Katie oversaw a publishing company, but she had very little time to spend reading anything that didn’t come in the form of a quarterly earnings report.

“Uh, yeah, a couple of times recently.   He was talking about perspective and new leases on life and how spending time with you had inspired him to see things in a new light.  That’s kind of why I figured you two were an ongoing thing.  He hasn’t exactly been _subtle_.”

“He hasn’t said anything to me.  Up until he kissed me that night, I wasn’t sure he had real _romantic_ feelings for me.  I figured I was misreading the signs.”

“Billboards tend to be pretty clear.”

“Not helpful.”

“I’m just saying.  He’s been giving off smoke signals since, uh, the beginning.”  Liam ticked off the benchmarks on his fingers: “How he talked about you to Brooke— _big_ sign. How he talked about you to Rick. How he talked about you to my dad.  When I look back, it’s obvious he’s had these feelings.  The only one who wasn’t ready to see it was you.”

“Why would he wait this long?  That doesn’t make sense.  Ridge Forrester waits for no woman.”

“Has it occurred to you he was waiting to see if you’d make the first move?”

“That’s not me.”

“Which he must have realized, so he took a chance and… _here you are._   The question you have to ask yourself is do you regret it?”

“I…”  Katie thought of being in Ridge’s arms and that feeling of being safe and loved that had immediately enveloped her.  She thought of the look in his eyes that she had seen almost every day for months when she caught him watching her across a crowded desktop.  _You were there my whole life. How’d I miss you?_   She recalled the sheer undaunted, passion and _want_ he’d poured into their kisses.   “I don’t regret it.  Not the kiss or the time we’ve spent together.  I’ve denied these feelings for the sake of keeping the peace and I’m not sure I can do that anymore.”

“Then, you have to tell him.  Falling love is the best thing in the world, but it’s nothing if you don’t share it.”

“I don’t have the luxury of loving whomever I want.  There are consequences.”

“Face them as a team, as you’ve faced all kinds of stuff.  If it’s my dad you’re worried about—okay, yeah, he might be a problem.  Cross that bridge when you come to it.  Do _this_ and then the rest.  Just make sure you actually do it.  Missing a chance at love to avoid some negative publicity is the worst thing you could to yourself in the long run.  Take it from somebody who lives with that regret every single day.”

**…**

Katie had taken time to process the talk she’d had with Liam.  She’d given herself many opportunities to smile stupidly over the kisses she had shared with Ridge that sill made her lips tingle on recollection.  This was happening, somehow.

Over the course of several days Katie had progressed from disbelief that Ridge had actual, non-guilt-related feelings for her to uncertainty over the nature of those feelings.  Was it lust? More? How much was more than lust?  There was a potent attraction, to be sure, as well as a willingness to act on it.

She herself was reluctant to put a label on the emotion that prompted her to smile when she received a text from him.  _Does he feel like that when he hears from me?_   Casual affairs were someone else’s privilege.  Katie had her son, her company, and her reputation to consider.

Ridge had called twice in the interim.  Once, he hadn’t left a message and the second time was to invite her on a lunch date that a last-minute scheduling conflict forced her to cancel outright.  She’d been stumped on how to apologize for that without their conversation becoming about… _this._   She had, therefore, performed her best trick to perfection; Katie had dodged.

 _Until today._   She had to face what the future held lest she wait and find it held nothing.

Katie made her way to Forrester right on schedule for lunch per their standing date.

“Hi, Pam, I have an appointment with Ridge.  Is it okay if I just wait inside?”

“Sure, he’s in a meeting with Carter downstairs, but he should be out in a couple of minutes. Make yourself at home. Let me know if I can get you anything.”

“Thanks.”

Pam left Kate in Ridge’s office and shut the door behind her.

Katie took the time to survey her surroundings.  It wasn’t often she spent time in Ridge’s office when the man was elsewhere.  He tended to keep her absorbed when he was here, which meant she hadn’t had much opportunity to notice what changes he’d made.

New pictures of RJ and Ridge in Paris had been added to the mix of family portraits featuring Taylor and Brooke, and one alone of a young Ridge embracing the first Caroline Spencer.  _He isn’t giving any of them up._   The Ridge who’d come back to L.A. wasn’t the Ridge who’d left.

Caran d’Arche colored pencils littered his workspace in thirty bright hues.  His trash bin overflowed with discarded professional-grade drawing paper.  _This is the studio of a master._   Where confusion was channeled into art.  Katie began to smile upon encountering a photograph of RJ and Will playing trucks on her floor.

Katie paused when she noticed a sewing mannequin standing beside Ridge’s desk.  It wore a dress in-progress, the skirt just about brushing the floor.  The dress was breath-taking.  All of Ridge’s work tended to be works of art and everyone knew he had a particular gift for clothing the female form, yet there was something about this dress that called to Katie from across the room.  _What is it about this dress?_

She carefully fingered the fabric. _Cool to the touch._   She skimmed the hand-detailing on the bodice where the black stitched embroidery underscored the supple richness of the silk.

“You like it?”

Katie jumped, spinning around to face Ridge.  He was leaning against his office door and he looked as if he had been for some time.  She hadn’t heard him come in.

“It’s gorgeous.  I thought Forrester had finished its couture shows for the season.  What’s it for?”

“Special delivery.”

“Isn’t the entire couture brand special delivery?”

“Yes and no.  Some pieces are a little more special than others.”

Katie saw that in the flattering cut of the silhouette and the deep emotional rouge of the fabric and the dramatic flourish of the skirt that would glimmer like lightning in a storm when the wearer walked.  _This isn’t just Ridge being Ridge. This is Ridge_ caring.

There was some part of Katie that wasn’t sure she wanted to like the dress after all.  Love had gone into the making of it.

“Is it for Brooke?”

“I haven’t designed for Brooke in years.  Caroline handles most of her custom requests when she orders in-house.”

“Ah.  Things are still a little awkward between you two.”

Katie twisted the strap of her purse.

 “Things are likely to stay that way.  She wants a reunion I can’t give her.”

Ridge sauntered past her to touch a loose stitch on the dress.

“You could.”

He turned the mannequin to inspect the side zipper in search of something Katie couldn’t fathom.

“Let me put it another way: She wants a reunion I _won’t_ give her.  My feelings have changed.  That was something I needed to admit to myself and, once I did, the decision not to get back together was easy.  Telling her was not so easy.”

“Brooke hears what she wants to hear.”

Finally, seemingly satisfied with his findings, Ridge set the dummy back to rights and turned to perch on the edge of his desk.

“Brooke hears what I tell her and I’m often not as clear as I should be.  I love her, I will always love her, she’s RJ’s mom, but I’m not in love with her anymore.  That I was able to walk away from her on our honeymoon may be proof that I wasn’t in love with her even then.”

The tension radiating through Katie’s body began to ease.

“Paris _was_ good to you.”

“Paris saved my life.”

“Someday you’ll have to tell me that story.”

“Have dinner with me and I’ll tell you all about it sooner rather than later.”

“We have dinner all the time.”

“Complete with dramatic and melancholy poetry readings and dancing?”

“I don’t know, that sounds a lot like a date.”

“It does.”

“If you’re on the rebound…”

“I’ve been single for close to two years.”

_That answers one of my questions about Paris._

“Technically, you just broke up with Brooke.”  Two years was a blink in a love story that had lasted for decades.

“That’s the Logan interpretation of events.  By all other accounts, we haven’t been an item for ages.”

“Why me?”

“I care about you.  You’re loyal, steadfast, and bright.”

“I sound like a talented dog.”

He allowed his eyes to drift down her body in obvious appreciation.

“You don’t look like one.  You’re dazzling.  You’re driven and compassionate.  There’s nobody in the world like you.”

There was a lifetime of insecurity in Katie’s past.  Simple kindness, affection, admiration; all these gifts that should have quieted her mistrust heightened it.

 “It would be so easy to be seduced by compliments.”

 “Here’s what I want you get from me: There are worse things than to be loved.”

“To be loved and abandoned is far worse.”

“I agree, and yet I’m still here, waiting.”

He sat before her, this knight who wielded pens and verse instead of a sword.  _If I can show him a fraction of what I’m too scared to voice…_

“Ask me again.”

“Have dinner with me.  Let’s listen to bad poetry being read while drinking overpriced espresso in a dive.  The place’ll smell like clove cigarettes and hashish.  Everyone, including us, will be wearing black.  We’ll clap no matter how terrible the reading is because they’ll be braver than we are and that deserves applause.”

“You’ve thought about this.  You’ve thought a lot about this.”

“Would it be admitting too much to say I haven’t thought about anything else?”

“You should have asked.”  Katie could never admit it, but she’d wanted him to ask her this for longer than it bore remembering.

“Rejection is a scary thing to think about.” 

_Ridge Forrester, frightened of me.  This is surreal._

“I’m not saying no.”

“But?”

“No ‘but.’  Let’s go out and see what happens.  I just want your word that I don’t lose you if this doesn’t work.”

“You couldn’t lose me.”

“I could. Then, where would I be? _Without you, I feel…_ ”

“ _Lost_?” 

Katie nodded.

Ridge clasped her hands and tugged her close to nuzzle his cheek against her own. 

“ _You’re not lost_.”

Katie’s breath hitched on the heat of his breath blowing over the shell of her ear.  Trying to find solid ground this close to him was impossible.

Ridge wound his arms around her.  Katie settled in, happy to be held.  She was sick unto death of discussing what she hated about herself.

“How’s the planning going for your summer in Paris?”

Ridge tensed and moved to let go of her.  She held him fast.  He didn’t put up much of a fight.

“Not going.  Brooke said no.”  A muscle near his eye twitched.

“Why would she say no?  You and RJ have been planning this since before he came home.”

“Brooke wanted us all to go together because their birthdays are only a week apart. I didn’t have a problem with that.  Then, RJ mentioned that we’d asked you and Will to come along and she raised some objections.”

Katie removed her hands from his chest.

“She didn’t want me to come with you.  I wish I could say that didn’t sound like my sister.”

“I don’t know what her problem is.”

“Your ending things with her is the problem.  She thinks the four of us are going on a family vacation and leaving her out of it.  She’d recognize the tactic since it’s exactly what she tried to do to me with Bill and our son.”

“Sorry to bring up bad memories.”  He rubbed soothing circles down her spine.

“I won’t hide from them.  They are what they are.”

“In any event, the trip is off.  RJ and I have decided to go on a road trip instead right before school starts up, sometime in the last couple of weeks of summer.  You should come.”

“Brooke wouldn’t like that.”

“I don’t really care what she thinks.  Brooke’s not my mother.  We have joint custody of RJ and you’re not a threat to his wellbeing.  You’re part of his family.  If you want in, we want you; I’ll want you regardless.”

_He keeps saying the right things.  He might even mean them._

“Gosh, me in a car with three sweaty men for days at stretch.  How could I resist?”

“The offer’s open till we leave.”

“Thank you for thinking of me.”

“Always.”

“You’ll never get rid of me if you keep talking like that.”

“Remind me not to stop—ever.”

Like a thief, Ridge stole her into his arms and kissed just as he had that night, except today there was a horizontal surface and no sleepy children to deter them.

He lifted her off her feet onto his desk, knocking aside anything in his path to make room.  Katie pulled him down with her, grabbing handfuls of his jacket to pull his body over hers—and _oh god_ , she’d never stop wanting this.  He covered her like nightfall, dark and heavy and completely enrapturing; his biting kiss left her breathless and his fingers twisting in her hair kept her coming back for more.

Katie wanted more of him, all of him.  So much more.

She yanked at his blazer till he relinquished his hold long enough to let her push it off and tug him back to her.  Their legs tangled as he divested her off the blazer she’d dressed in with such care.  _Don’t care.  More._

She pulled his shirt free from his waistband to seek out bare skin to sate this hunger he’d roused so carelessly.

Ridge surged against her like he’d been shocked back to life, grasping her hips to press as close as he could.

“Definitely trouble.  Uh uh, we gotta save the best for later.”

He peeled himself away, breathing fast.  “Enough of that.”  Defeated, he came back for one more scorching clash of lips, and then withdrew, his musclebound form resisting every inch.  She wasn’t much better, sitting propped on her elbows to watch him run.  Kissing him turned her into a raw, throbbing nerve.

Ridge made a show of reasserting his composure, wiping his mouth with a handkerchief from his discarded jacket.

Katie found a tissue in her purse to wipe off her smeared lipstick.  _The lips are mightier than the lipstick._   She was going to have to guard against those lips of his or buy a better brand of makeup.

_Time for a diversion._

She finger-combed her hair into what she hoped was some semblance of order.

“I’m in love with this dress.  Who’s it for?”

“Why does it matter so much to you?”

“You put a lot into it.  It’s meticulously tailored.  The detail is exquisite.”

“You noticed.  I must be rubbing of on you.”

Katie was very much in favor of that.  _Don’t think about kissing him. Don’t kiss him.  God, I could kiss him all day._   She had to drag her eyes away from his lips.  And from his neck, his shoulders, his hands.  _Don’t look at him._

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not.  This is very much on-topic.”

Smoldering gaze locked on hers, Ridge leant down to kiss her shoulder where her blouse had slipped to leave it bare.

Her breath left her in rush.  Her head swam as she fought down a surge of yearning that would have made her reach for him to finish what they’d begun.

 _We’re not there yet. We’re not there yet. We_ **will** _be, just not yet.  Soon. Better be soon or I’m going to combust.  Think of something else._   Graceless as you please, Katie ducked out from under Ridge’s mouth to step near the mannequin.

“So, if it’s not for Brooke, who’s it for?”

Ridge tracked her movements, all predator to her willing prey.

“Are you jealous?”

“Ha. If nobody ever asks me that question again, it’ll be too soon.  I’m just curious.”

“She’s easy on the eyes, if that helps.”

_He’s teasing.  I have to quit being such an easy mark._

“We’re in LA, the American beauty capital. I’d be surprised if she _wasn’t_ stunning, but _who_ is she?”

“Afraid of a little competition?”

“Afraid I’ve already lost, again.”

Ridge swept her hair away from her face.  “I’ll give you a hint.”

“Do I look like I’m up for a game of Twenty Questions?”

“This is one of those moments where you learn to trust me.  I promise it will be worth it.”

“I want to trust you.”

Ridge kissed her hand.  “Trust me.”

“Trust is a sticky issue.  This is one of things I envy Brooke for.  She just carries on when she’s been hurt.  She picks up the pieces and launches herself head first into love again like it’s nothing.  I wish it could be that easy.”

“That’s all right.  Trusting love again, and yourself, is difficult.  Cageyness is to be expected.”

“If I were more like that…”

“I’m happy you’re not Brooke.  If you weren’t you, I wouldn’t love you as much.”

Katie’s mind went resolutely blank.

_He said…me? He…me?_

“You don’t have to say it back.  I can wait.”

She had to grab onto the chair beside her to keep to her feet once he’d turned away.

Ridge retrieved a sketchbook from his center desk drawer and brought it back to show to her.  He was so cavalier, she couldn’t believe he’d said what she knew he’d said.

“I’m working on this new line and I want your input.  It’s corporate fashion.  You inspired it a little bit, so I wanna know what you think.”

Katie tried to imitate his coolness, setting aside her Kleenex to take the tablet.  He didn’t comment if he noticed it shaking in her hands.

“This is exciting.  I’ve never been anybody’s muse.”

“You probably have more times than you think.” Ridge led her over to his chair where he opened the sketchpad and flipped in a few pages.  “We’re thinking sophisticated, chic, classic lines but a more modern aesthetic.  A Working Girl sensibility for 2014.”

“A tagline for the ages.  I’m already impressed.”

“I like impressing you.”

“How did I know that?”

Ridge flipped the cover shut just long enough to lean over and catch her lips in another stolen kiss.  Katie was thoroughly happy to be stolen.  _By a man who loves me._

This kiss was less plundering, more a tender pressing of lips that made her want to wrap around him for the rest of the night and not let go.

“All right, Trouble, time for business.  Opine, critique, do your worst.  Treat me like one of your contributors at Spencer.  Give me the big, bad CEO treatment.”

“You want me to boss you around?  I could get used to that.”

“You’d better.”

When he dove for her again, Katie dodged his lips, to his vocal disappointment. He grumbled his dissatisfaction in the crook of her neck. She arched into the trail of sulky whispers murmured into her skin.

Her shivers soon turned to gasping laughter.

“I thought you wanted my professional opinion.  I can’t concentrate with you tickling me.”

“Did I hear you say ‘ticklish’?”  She felt his fingers creeping toward her waist.

“No, Ridge. Don’t you dare.”

“You’ve unleashed the kraken.”

She slapped his questing hands.  “Don’t!  I am doing you a favor.  I am going to review your line while you behave yourself.”

“Where’s the fun in behaving when this feels good?”

Ridge wrapped his bourbon-soaked voice around ‘good’ like he wrapped his lips around her earlobe, tauntingly and promising the stars.

“Work.”

“Play.”

Katie snagged the tablet from the edge of the desk and began to flip through it in search of the first sketch he’d shown her.  The angel on her shoulder was shouting, but not louder than the rasping of Ridge Forrester’s stubble against her hypersensitive skin.  _Go slow.  That’s the smart thing._   Katie knew she’d be all in if they made love right this instant.  What she couldn’t decide was how much more _in_ she could be.

Clearing her throat, Katie really gave the sketch her full attention.  It featured a faceless brunette model wearing fairly standard business attire. A blouse and skirt fit to the model in the hand of someone who adored the female form in all its facets.  _He sure does._

“This print is impeccable.  I have to own this blouse.”  Katie flipped to the next page, and then the next.  All was in a similar vein and was likewise impressive.

Ridge pulled over another chair.

“Suggestions?”

“Not much.  I’d include more slacks. Skirts are great, but never underestimate the appeal and versatility of tailored dress pants.”  Ridge noted as much on the side of the lead sketch.

“That’s what I’m talking about.  We work well together.”

Katie was reluctant to take the praise outright.

“Fashion’s not my area, I just know what I like.”

“I have faith in your instincts.  What about the color scheme?”

Katie narrowed her eyes at him.  “Am I your market research?”

“You’re the archetypical businesswoman we’re trying to attract.”

“It’s working.”

“Is it?”

“Mmhmm.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

“Happy to be of service.”

“Come here, you.”

He kissed her quick and soft, like _Hello._   She could greet him all day.

Katie was suddenly keenly aware of the time, and of not eating before work.

_I’m in meetings till five.  Food is a must._

“Can I expect to actually have lunch before I go back to work?”

“Is food all you think about?”

Katie raked her nails down his shirt, daring as any women drawn by his hand.

“Not lately.

He turned up her palm to kiss the center.

“Let’s pick something up and get you back to Spencer.”

“A man after my own heart.”

“Oh no, I’m after more than that.”  Ridge stroked her arm. “I have another proposition for you.”

“You’re just full of exciting new ideas.”

“Better than the alternative.  Join me at the Make Your Fate gala.”

“That was supposed to be last month.  You skipped it to stay with me.”

“We pushed it back.  The summer line wasn’t ready to debut.  All promotional activities were delayed by a month.  It’s in two days, and I want you to be my date.”

“Not a poetry reading.”

“No, but it is important to Forrester.  We’re celebrating turning our image around.  You should be there.”

Katie scrutinized Ridge to see if he was hiding anything; his body language told her nothing.

“I’ll have to get Caroline to go with me to pick out a gown to wear.”

“I’ve got something in mind.  Let me send it over.”

Katie’s eyes lingered on _the_ dress.  “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.  I’ve been looking for an excuse anyway.  This’ll give me one.”

“Should I buy anything for it?”

Ridge stroked her wrist.

“Don’t buy anything.  I’ll have Caroline include the usual suspects. Jewelry, shoes.  She’ll probably even send some makeup tips your way.  We’ll think of everything.  Just be there to put it on.”


	8. June, Pt. II

Katie received a package the evening of the Forrester ‘Make Your Fate’ gala.  A cream-colored Forrester Couture dress box was hand-delivered to her door alongside a shoebox and cosmetics bag.  Katie gave the courier a tip and took the delivery to her bedroom.  She had refused Donna’s offer to get ready together when she agreed to accompany Ridge to the event.  Whatever he had in mind was for her eyes only.

She read the attached notecard to herself.  _‘To my Katie. Love, Ridge.’_

Katie’s pulse sped up.  She had nursed a suspicion in Ridge’s office that day that she hadn’t allowed herself to really consider in the days since.  She had chosen to trust him over Brooke’s insidious whispers.  She had chosen with her heart over her head.  This was the moment where she was proven a wise woman or a fool.

Katie opened the bigger box.

The dress had been altered since she last laid eyes on it.  If possible the gown had grown more splendid.  She lifted the garment out of the box to hold it against her in body of the mirror.  The folds of the gown spilled over her fingers in a lustrous wave where a faint shimmer danced on the surface beneath her bedroom lamplights.

_He designed it for me._

There _was_ something in the dress and she might have been right; it might have been love.

Katie dressed with care, leery of damaging this crucial evidence in her hands.  _This isn’t just friendship, or him leaning on me. This is something else._   Katie gave herself permission to believe in whatever it might come to be.

Katie found a slip of Hope for the Future stationery in one of the pumps Caroline had sent with the dress.

_‘Don’t worry, you’ll take his breath away.  Love you! –C’_

_Here’s hoping you’re right._

Katie made herself up according to Caroline careful instructions, substituting some of her more subtle preferences for Caroline’s preferred splashes of color.  _Next time._   Katie meant for there to be many times to come.

Once fully coiffed, she checked with the sitter to give last minute instructions and kissed her sleeping boy good night.  A ring of the doorbell later, she found Ridge waiting on her doorstep elegantly attired in a classic three-button tux and waistcoat.  His pocket square matched her dress.

He held out his hand to her.  She took it, allow him to spin her in a slow circle to see her in the gown she’d loved at first sight.  “Magnificent.  You’re more bewitching wearing it that I envisioned.  Positively devastating. ”

“This dress. I was…I didn’t want to put it on, I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“I designed it in your image; there’s nothing to ruin.”

Katie took this all-important opportunity to greet him with a kiss.

“Hmm, I’m the luckiest man at the ball and we’re not even there yet. Come on, Trouble, there’s a limousine and a party with our name on it.”

“Lead the way.”

They spent the trip from Beverly Hills to downtown Los Angeles discussing a joint poetry competition Ridge had posed a month or so ago.  Katie had looked into the logistics of the undertaking and she thought it just might work.

They pulled up to the LA Opera right as night fell.  The glass and stone monolith stood like a three-tier lantern in the surrounding darkness, the crystal chandeliers within lighting the way for the guests to come.  Flags bearing the Forrester crest waved in front of the windows.  An opulent green carpet marked the path from the curb, careening around the lighted water fountain and neat planted trees until it reached the plate glass doors.

“You thought of everything.”

“This night was a team effort.  Dad thought of the opera house, Caroline thought of the colors, the Fullers thought of the theme, and the rest was fate.”

“You’re becoming a believer.”

“In something new every day.”  Ridge buzzed their driver who came back around to let them out.

Katie stepped out into a frenzy of overdressed press reporters and photographers restrained and only just by the presence of velvet green rope lines and stern men in tuxes sporting earpieces.  That there was sure to be one or more Spencer journalists in the bunch did little to allay Katie’s unease with the majority who weren’t.  Nevertheless, Katie knew it was her job to suck it up and sell the story, and that’s what she did.

“What brings you to the ‘Make Your Fate’ gala tonight, Ms. Spencer?”

“I’m here to support my friends and family who’ve worked so hard these last few years to make Hope for the Future the success it’s become.”

“And your date?”

Ridge was working the press line to her right, fielding questions about the upcoming launch, the soul of aplomb and vermouth-dry wit.  _Handsome as anything._

“He’s…he needs no introduction.”

“You’re right about that.  Have a wonderful evening, Ms Spencer.”

“Thank you.”

Katie figured she was unlikely to have that same luck twice and opted only to take questions from familiar faces, which offered her the opportunity to talk at length about Spencer’s recent success and their plans for the next quarter.

Ridge snuck into her shot at the tail end of her final interview to add his two cents.

“Nobody asked me, but I think she’s best thing to happen to the place in years.”

“Ridge is too kind.”

“Not too kind to steal you away from the press line.  You ready to go in?”

“I think so.”

The interviewer wished them both a good evening.

Ridge tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and led her along the green carpet to the stairs under the golden lights.

“That didn’t go too badly.”

“It’s still early.  They don’t want to piss anybody off yet.  Wait until after dessert.  Once everybody’s got a couple of drinks in them, the press isn’t so eager to please.  Everyone still sober after ten will take the side exit.”

They were checked in by an attendant upon reaching the doors before being escorted inside by an usher in a dinner jacket.

The foyer of the Opera had been repurposed as their ballroom for the evening.  The seats and card tables which usually filled the atrium had been replaced with round tables that hugged the walls to leave a wide space for a dance floor.  The two floors of balconies rising overhead already boasted full complements of dapper partygoers milling in droves. Diamond-shaped mirrors adorned the ceiling reflecting the light of the trio of chandeliers suspended from above.  Beyond the glass walls, the sky was an indigo portrait of pinprick stars, so vast that this building might have been alone in all the world.  _This is a night when anything can happen._

Ridge brushed the backs of his fingers down her arm to direct her attention to another man in white.

 _The steward, I forgot about the steward._ Katie squeezed Ridge’s arm tighter.  He gave her a reassuring look.  She tried to be as courageous as that look expected. _We’re this strong together. We can do this._

_I can._

“Announcing Mr. Ridge Forrester of Forrester Creations and Ms. Katherine Logan Spencer of Spencer Publications.”

They stepped into the ballroom arm in arm.

Katie embraced the lessons years in Brooke’s and Donna’s shadows had taught her.  _You’re everything you believe you are.  Other opinions are immaterial in the moment._

“I can’t remember if I told you this, but you look beautiful tonight.”

“You’ve told me a dozen times.”

“This is me telling you again.  You’re the most breathtaking women in the room.  I couldn’t be luckier if I were the king of the world.”

“I promise not to crack up.  I can do this.”

“There isn’t a doubt in my mind.  Let’s make the rounds.”                               

Katie caught a glimpse of Bill holding court near the farther grand staircase leading to the balconies.  _Bill Spencer is never without an audience wherever he goes._   She spied Quinn Fuller, the mother of Bill’s second son, amid the throng.  Katie recognized at once the predatory gleam in Quinn.  _You’re one a few.  Don’t let him catch you._   Quinn was as Katie had been at her worst: she believed she could tame beast.  Katie had learned.  Quinn would have to learn twice.

Ridge and Katie ran into Jack Abbott from Jabot Cosmetics out of Genoa City coming out of the performance hall where tonight’s presentation was to take place.  Ridge shook his hand and slapped his back.

“Jack, welcome back to L.A.  You should come more often. You’d fit right in.”

The man with the million-dollar smile lit up and embraced Ridge like an old friend.

“You sly dog.  How’d you get back in town without anybody raising the alarm?”

“I snuck in like a vandal in the night.  I’m good like that.  Here, let me introduce you to Katie Logan Spencer.  She’s the new CEO over at Spencer Publications.”

“First and foremost, may I say that you look amazing?  Something tells me I’m looking at Ridge Forrester original.”

“Guilty as charged.”

They all laughed.

Katie and Jack shook hands and he covered hers with his.

“I heard about the donation you made to the Delia Foundation.  I can’t tell you how much that meant to me and Billy.”

“I’m a mother.  I can’t imagine what I’d do if I lost my little boy.  I had to do something, no matter how little.”

“It’s no small thing at home.  Thank you.”

Katie nodded.

“Now, what’s this I hear about Spencer and Forrester teaming up for a poetry contest?”

Ridge gave the floor to Katie.  _I can’t believe I’m doing this._

“That depends.  What are your thoughts on Shakespeare?”

**…**

Hope arrived with Wyatt and his mother half an hour later.  Her niece made a splash in her flapper-inspired gown and headpiece.  All things considered, Katie thought it best to keep her distance, and Ridge didn’t protest, though he raised his glass of bubbly to the three when they passed in proximity.

Eric entered with Brooke on one arm and Donna on the other shortly thereafter, Caroline with Rick bringing up the rear.  Katie avoided their notice altogether by moving from Ridge’s right arm to his left where he blocked her from view.  She didn’t want a scene. _Let me have tonight._

Ten minutes had not elapsed before Brooke broke away from Eric’s side to turn their chatting trio into a quartet. 

“Good evening. I hope I’m not interrupting.” She came bearing a duet of champagne flutes to share with Ridge who already had one.  Ridge passed his second on to Jack.

“Thanks.  No interruption here.  Ridge and Katie were just explaining the _Ama la vita_ poetry competition they’re founding to me.  I’m no great fan of the Bard, but I think the idea’s got promise.  What do you think?”

“Ridge, you didn’t mention this at lunch.  Do tell.”

Katie’s champagne soured in her mouth.

“The two of you had lunch?”

Brooke leaned over Ridge’s shoulder to giggle.  “We have lunch all the time, silly.  You must have known that since he tells you everything.”  Katie couldn’t miss the gleam of triumph in Brooke’s eyes as Ridge shifted uneasily on his feet.

“He usually does.”

“This isn’t happening,” Ridge murmured in an undertone.   “You may not have guessed, Jack, but I spend a lot of time brainstorming on my own.”

“Mmhmm, Ridge can be a veritable hermit when he gets in a creative mood.  You’d think he’s gone to hibernate for winter.”

Ridge’s answering smile was stiff as his posture.  “There’s a great little Italian place off the Boulevard you should try.  Bombay Osteria.  It’s good if you need peace and quiet.  The pasta’s first rate.  Unfortunately, it can be a little too easy to find, which makes solitude a problem.”  He was studiously avoiding looking at Brooke.  _And me._   Katie swilled her champagne.  _This evening cannot end soon enough._

Jack inclined his chin.  “Ah.”

“Yeah.  Brooke’s got a habit of popping up when I least expect her.”

Jack sipped his champagne, eyebrows quirked.

“You expected me this afternoon.  It was your idea for us to meet there, remember?”

Ridge angled his body away from Brooke, his tuxedoed arm brushing against Katie’s bare shoulder. 

“Yes, it was.  We had personal matters to discuss.”

“Just like tonight.”

“No, we really don’t.”

“Don’t miss out on our account.”  Jack glanced at Katie.  Katie couldn’t have guessed at the expression on her face.  “How about we leave them to it?”

“Best suggestion I’ve heard all night.”  Katie accepted his arm and slipped off into the fray beside him, very much ignoring Ridge as he called her name.

Jack led her to the nearest waiter carrying a tray of champagne.  Katie was only too happy to partake.  Champagne made everything more tolerable.

“ _She’s_ determined as I remember,” Jack remarked.

“Yes, she is.”  Katie offed half her flute in a single gulp.  _Trusting doesn’t get me anywhere._

“Don’t be put out.  Ridge was sending out distress signals left and right.”

Katie’s memory of that conversation had grown fuzzy right when Brooke mentioned meeting Ridge for lunch.

“Why’d we leave them together if he didn’t want to talk?”  When Katie looked back, Ridge’s demeanor told the tale.  Brooke was talking to a brick wall wearing her ex-husband’s face.

“You looked upset.  Ridge would have wanted me to prioritize you over him.”

“Are we that obvious?”

“After about thirty seconds, I’d say yes.”

Katie clenched her fist around her clutch.  _I’m my own worst enemy._

“Excuse me.  I have to get out of here.  Do you know where the side exit is?”

Jack eyed her warily before nodding toward an unmarked door behind a neglected potted plant.

“Don’t stay out there too long.  I’m not sure security’s working the side of the building.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

Katie skirted the crowd of Forrester associates and made for the door.  She propped herself up against it for a beat, contemplating her next move.

She was angrier at herself than Brooke.  Brooke had gotten the very response she wanted when Katie had left her and Ridge alone.  _I cannot keep letting her spoil my every moment of happiness.  I have to be stronger than those doubts or I’ll lose him anyway._   They’d only just begun.

Feeling resolved and a tad overheated, Katie pushed opened the side door, and was confronted with a gaggle of press that made the front door rope line look tame.  She stumbled in her heels on the threshold, unsure whether to shut the door or respond to the questions being volleyed at her like so many armed hand grenades.

“How does it feel to know all eyes are on you?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Since you and Ridge Forrester arrived on the green carpet, nobody’s talked about anything else.”

She didn’t like the sound of that.

“Because we were late?”

They weren’t.

“Because you came together.  Everybody in town figured you two were an item months ago; we’ve just been waiting for confirmation.  Are you two confirming tonight?”

Katie was instantly nauseous.  It felt too soon. She wasn’t ready.

“No! We’re not confirming anything.  We’re friends.”

Katie thought she must have burned tracks in the runner getting as far from the mock press line as possible.  She’d wanted air, not to be put on the spot by strangers and cameras.  _This is not who I am._

She skipped returning to the foyer to make for the spiraling staircase that would take her to the second floor, then the third.  She needed a safe haven from all the watchers.  Katie hadn’t grown up as the center of attention.  The shadows were where she thrived.

A number of false starts later, she found the upstairs balcony which overlooked the ballroom and offered a distant view of the green carpet outside the cement garden.  More than the cooler air that slowed her racing heart, she found the man who made it race.

Ridge was leaning against the balustrade, nursing a gin and tonic when she stepped on the landing.

“I thought you’d still be with Brooke.”

Ridge gave her a look.

“You and me, we’re… _friends_.”  He cocked his head.  “Is that what we are? Is that all?”

 _He heard me._   This was supposed to be _their_ night.

“I don’t know.  I’m still trying to figure this out.”  Katie fiddled with her skirt, getting a twinge in her stomach at realizing the hem had caught on something and ripped.

“Do you know how you feel about me?”

“I know—I don’t _know_ anything.  I know this feels nothing like falling in love with Bill.  Nick didn’t feel like this, not exactly.  You and I have been developing a bond since you came back.”  She approached him slowly, unsure of her welcome.  “This connection just gets stronger and stronger.  When I think about giving into it, when I think about going out and holding hands and making love to you…I _want all of it_.  I want you and none of the pain that I know is coming and that I know I’ll earn if we do this.”

“You haven’t earned any more hurt.  You’ve been hurt enough. Bill and Brooke, that was enough.  You’ve paid your debt to the cosmos.  It’s me that hasn’t paid the piper.  Let yourself want what we could have.”

“It would be the same thing she did to me.”

“No, it wouldn’t.  Don’t let anybody convince you otherwise.  What’s between us isn’t comparable to any other love story.  You gotta have faith in that.”

“I want to have faith, but then Brooke shows up and it’s all shattered.”

“I don’t wanna talk about Brooke.”

“We have to.  You’ve been out with her, same as with me.  How am I supposed to take that?”

“Exactly as you heard it.  When I wanna have a meal on my own, I go to Bombay Osteria for the stuffed ravioli.  Brooke’s been known to find me. I don’t invite her.”

“And what do you do when she shows up?”

“What have I done since I got back? I grin and bear it. I let her say her piece and I leave.  Has she tried to get me to come back to her? Yes.  It hasn’t worked. The simple fact is she no longer has anything I want.”

“She’s making it sound worse than it is.”

“That’s what she does.  If she can arouse doubts, she’s already scored points for undermining us.”

Ridge met her halfway.  She laced their fingers together, palm to palm, pulse to pulse.

“I took her to the restaurant to discuss RJ’s custody arrangement.  Since we’re not getting back together, the schedule needs to be more structured.  You saw how she responded to my inviting you to Paris.  That’s why we were together after I was in the park with you, which she hasn’t mentioned, but she will.  She wanted that to be turning point for her and me.  She didn’t get what she wanted.  I can’t give her a heart I’ve already given to you.”

“If we were in your office right now, I’d finish what we started yesterday.”  Katie was all in.

“There’s always the steam room.”

“Not a chance.”

“I love you, Katie.  That’s not a deception.”

“I know.”

The tuning of the orchestra’s instruments in the performance hall rose to a fever pitch.

“We should head back down. I think the presentation’s about to begin.”

They watched the ‘Make Your Fate’ video presentation from the directly behind the orchestra section.  It was a beautifully edited and presented by the HFTF staff.  Katie was proud that the idea she’d given Hope had gone this far and managed to bring her niece this much good fortune.  She did note, however, that it wasn’t very reminiscent of the couture brand Forrester was known for.  She was beginning to understand the nature of Ridge’s ambivalence.

Dinner was served after the presentation had let out and they were fortunate enough to be seated at a table with Jack Abbott and his assistant Hilary instead of where the rest of the Forrester executives were gathered.  _I say ‘fortunate’…_   Katie sensed blood in the water.  When Hilary and Jack had gone to deal with an emergency, she decided to inquire.

“Shouldn’t you be with Eric and Rick?  This is a big night for Hope for the Future.”

“We’re having some disagreements about how to move forward creatively at Forrester.  Here is better.”

“What did Brooke do?”

“Brooke isn’t behind all of my problems.”

“Sorry.  She seems to be behind most of mine, so I just assumed.”

Ridge kissed her fingers. 

“She’s not the root cause.  Doesn’t mean she isn’t on the list.  I’ve got a couple of things on my mind, but this is a ballroom and that’s a dance floor.  Let me take you for a spin.”

The chamber orchestra took up a stirring classical piece.

 “How’s your waltz?”

“Good enough.”

She hadn’t waltzed since her wedding to Bill.

Right as Ridge was leading her around their third circuit of the floor, the younger Forrester heir stepped out of the performance hall and directly into their path.  Ridge had to twirl her just so to avoid colliding with him.

“Ridge.”

“Rick.”

Katie bristled at the disappointed look her nephew shot in her direction. _Why me and not his mother?_

“I see you’ve traded my mother in for another model—again.”

“I see you’re still pretending your ‘witty’ observations are of interest to anyone who isn’t married to you—again.”

Caroline held Rick back, whispering calming nothings in his ear.

“It matters to those who matter; such as, I don’t know, our father. Well, _my_ father.”

Ridge went rigid beside her.  Katie settled against him till he began to relax.

“You don’t want to open that door, Junior.”

“We both know I’ll come out on top in that fight.  I’m a Forrester. You’re…whatever you call yourself.”

“I’m the son our father _loved regardless._   You’re whoever’s your mother decided you were.”

“Take that back.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“You’re just going to let him talk about your sister that way?”

Katie hadn’t wanted to get in the middle of this.  She was one of Brooke’s most rabid defenders in her day. _Not anymore._

“I didn’t see you defending my honor when it was my husband who traded me in.  I can’t say I feel much sympathy for her.”

“Golly, guess you’re done playing the victim.”

“That’s your second strike, little brother. You don’t get a third one.”

“Neither do you, _big brother._   If you think I’m going to let you run Forrester into the ground with another scandal, you’re crazy.  You’re nothing, you’re nobody.  We made it without you for over a year and we thrived.  You’ll see that soon enough.”

“That was an impressive slew of words you managed to string together.  Did your wife come up with that?”

Katie’s long-suffering groan was covered by Caroline’s indignation.

“Hey! Leave me out of it.”

Ridge spared his young sister-in-law a tolerant glance.  “She doesn’t even want credit for that one.  Probably a good call. You should try following her lead for a change.”

Rick puffed up.

“Don’t talk about my wife.”

Ridge looked like he was laughing on the inside.

“Don’t talk about the woman I love. You respect the people in my life and I’ll respect the people in yours.  Simple stuff.  See if you can keep that straight.”

“I won’t be disrespected.”

“Earn my respect.”

“Why should I?”

Ridge rolled his shoulder.

“All right, this scene is giving me a headache.  You gotta make up your mind.  Do you want me to respect your work ethic, what there is of it, or do you want the moral high ground where you get to spit in my face despite how you treated Steffy?  You don’t get both.” Ridge clicked his tongue.  “Let’s be honest, you’re not getting either, but I wanna get your take.”

“You’re not God’s gift to this company.”

“I never said I was.”

“No? You strut back here like you own the place--”

“I own one-fifth of the ‘place’ where you put your feet up while Caroline does the heavy lifting.  Before you were a twinkle in our father’s eye, I was helping him put that ‘place’ on the map.”

“And then you ran away like a preschooler who got his feelings hurt.”

“I went to Paris, where the international arm of our company is located.  It’s not that far, I know you’ve been there, but I could draw you a map.  Can you read maps or didn’t you earn that badge in Boy Scouts?”

“Read my lips: You’re not getting Forrester.”

“Read mine: I already _have_ Forrester.  Doesn’t matter if I’m president or not. When people in fashion hear the name Forrester, they think of Dad and they think of me, not you.  I don’t see that changing.”

“Dad won’t stand for this.”

“I don’t need Dad’s permission to seek a higher office.”

“You know damn well that’s not what I mean.”

“Since work is the only topic up for discussion, I certainly do.”

“Katie—“

“Don’t.  Talk. About. Katie.”

“Somebody should.”

“You wouldn’t be my first choice.”

Katie might have spoken on her own behalf were this fight about her and not the bad blood that ran deep between Rick and Ridge.  _I’m just an easy target._   This was a night to pick her battles.

Eric gave up watching from the sidelines to separate his sons.

“What’s going on over here? You’re making a scene.”

Ridge inclined his chin and straightened out his tux.  “Nothing. We’re done here.”

Rick stepped toward their father.  “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think much.  That we can agree on.”

Eric put up a hand to stay Ric’s next comeback.

“Let’s not do this.  It’s been a good night.  Let’s everyone go home and rest up.  We’ll deal with this in the morning.”

“I’ll be skipping that meeting.  I don’t have anything else to say.”

“That’s the Ridge Forrester way, skipping all the parts where he’s called to the carpet for his actions.”

Ridge cocked his head as he regarded his youngest brother.

“If I wanted to listen to you complain, I’d spend another minute here with you. Alas, I’ve got other plans.”  He glanced back at Katie.  “Let’s go home.” ~~~~

Katie was more than ready to head for higher ground.  “With pleasure.”

“Congratulations on tonight’s success.  Give my best to Hope.”  She nodded at both of them and followed Ridge out of the Opera.

After calling for their car, Ridge wandered over to the reflecting pool of the Taper Forum to stare up at the stars instead of making for the carpet.  She hazarded an arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.  This was giving back.

“That was exciting.”

“How fast are you planning to run in the other direction to get away from us?”

“In these heels, I’d need a two-day head start and I still wouldn’t get very far.”

He let out a huff of a laugh.

  “I’m no stranger to dysfunctional families, Ridge.  I’m a Logan.  I have my brother’s heart in my chest. How could I judge you or them?  I won’t run.”

“How do I know that?”

“You’ll just have to keep an eye on me until you’re sure.”

“That’s something I think I can do.”

Under cover of starlight, Katie kissed the man she adored, who adored her right back.

_Not a bad way to spend an evening._

Katie and Ridge exited the Forum by way of the forest green carpet where the journalists and photographers were waiting to see who would leave well-dressed wrecks in the night.

“Ms. Spencer! Mr. Forrester! Look this way!”

Ridge ignored them so accustomed was he to their interference in his daily life.  Katie instinctively shielded her face from the flashbulbs going off in her line of sight. 

“Katie! Katie, who designed your dress?!”

Katie gritted her teeth.  The question was reasonable, designed to foster a false sense of security until they could hit her with one that really hurt.  _If publishing has taught me anything, it’s never buy the soft sell._

“Come on, Katie, you’re coming and going with big sister’s legendary lover.  Give us something.”

_There it is._

Ridge placed a protective hand at the small of her back.  “Stay classy, fellas.”

Kate shot a perfunctory glare back toward the ballroom.  This was to have been their night.

From the front steps, Liam raised his glass to Katie.  She pegged him instantly as the course of the leak.  _The Spencer men strike again._   Kate could count on Liam to do what he thought was best for her.  _Despite the fact that he’s unable to do it for himself._   He meant well.  Katie was likely to smack him if he tried again.  She wasn’t a child; this was her fate to make from here on.

The reporters toiled merrily, tossing all manner of question their way.  Katie wanted to be done with it all. No more hedging or pretending.  _This isn’t a rumor anymore. This is our life._

“Are you two an item?  Our readers are dying to know.”

Katie stopped; and then, Ridge with her.  Every intimate moment they two had shared had been leading up to this.  She made a decision.

 _This can’t be happening._   But it was.

“Yes.  Yes, we’re together.  We’re very happy.”

The flashing lights got brighter, the shouting louder.

“I love him.”  Katie waved the white flag on deceiving anybody else.  “I love him.  That’s all you’re getting.  Good night.”

She took Ridge’s hand and pulled him to the limousine that was waiting to take them home.  They crawled in the backseat and regarded each other, silent, in the dark.

“Did I just tell the world I’m in love with you?”

“That’s what I heard.  How’s it feel?”

“Outstanding.”

“Freeing?”

“ _Freeing!_ ”

She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

“Let’s go somewhere.”

“Anywhere in particular?”

“I have somewhere in mind.”

Sensing that he was choosing to be mysterious, she settled in to enjoy the ride, lulled by the nonsense Ridge was tracing on her thigh.

Before long the limo was rolling to a smooth stop.

“We’re here.”

Ridge opened the door and offered his hand to help her out of the backseat.

It was their place.  Where the city met the ocean and lost men found themselves.  _Where lost people find each other._

“What made you want to come here?”

“This is the place where my life started to change for the better.  There was plenty of bad before you.  Now there’s a lot of good.  Coming back here seemed right.”

Katie turned her head and blinked in confusion. 

“The car’s here.”

“I had the driver bring it by while we were at dinner.”

“You had plans for me.”

“When you want to get away, you don’t want witnesses.  I don’t want any; I want you.”

He picked her up and spun her in a circle before setting her back on her feet.

“Same here.” 

Ridge skimmed the planes of her face with his fingertips. 

“Dance with me.  We got interrupted last time; we gotta make up for that.”

Katie looked around at their place.  It wasn’t much of a dance floor.  “Here?”

“Anywhere.”

Katie felt silly, all dressed up with no one to impress. “There’s no music.”

Ridge ducked back into the car to fiddle with his sound system.

Strains of a crooning balladeer filled the cool night air.

 _Nightfall we’re brushing past your town_ __  
Destination not you my one  
The driver doesn’t know way down  
How deep these bright-eyed feelings run  
I’ve no intention of confessing today  
I need to make distance a while  
But miles don’t make your image fade  
They don’t erase this secret smile

Ridged offered Katie his hand and she could only accept.

“I think you’re stunning no matter what you’re wearing and no matter where we are.”

“I don’t know what to believe.  You want me, not my sister.  Brooke is really alone and I’m not supposed to care about that, but I do.”

“Because it isn’t fair?”

“Because this,” she gestured between them, “doesn’t happen to me.”

Ridge nudged her chin up so she’d meet his eyes.  “It does now.”

 _“You’ve been in front of me my whole life. How did I not see you? You’re the most beautiful and amazing woman I’ve ever met._ How could I not fall in love with you? _”_

“This is the first time you’ve seen me.  It feels so good to be seen.”

He thumbed tears from under her eyes. 

“I feel exactly the same way.  I never saw you coming.”

They danced around their place in lazy circles until the keep got too windy to bear and they climbed in the car to watch the ocean rage.  They talked about the future for hours, and the only one they could see together was bright.


	9. June, Pt. III

Katie was on cloud nine for the rest of the month and she didn’t care who knew.   None had the power to bring her down from this great height, because love when it was good was magnificent.  _Love doesn’t come more magnificent than this._

Katie was weighing the benefits of spending the afternoon in the park reading Donne poems versus staying to read another mind numbing feature proposal.  The ‘what would $Bill do’ game wasn’t much use as a decision maker in this instance.

“I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for a couple of weeks, but you’re almost impossible to catch.”

Adele followed Hope in, as visibly frustrated as Katie had ever seen her.  _She’s no match for the Logan persistence.  No mere mortal is._

“It’s all right, Adele. I’ll take it from here.  Hello, Hope.  Thank you for calling ahead. Knocking. Asking me if I’m busy. Please, have a seat.”

The look her niece gave her was pure Brooke.  Katie settled in for what was sure to be a scintillating screed.

“For your information, I haven’t been ignoring you, I’ve been finalizing the details on the Spencer-Forrester poetry competition.  Since Forrester is sponsoring, I’ve been in nonstop meetings with Legal and Accounting, but everything is working out swimmingly.  We’re right on target for autumn.”

Hope put her hands in her lap.  She was obviously working to rein in her emotions.

“We have to talk about the gala.”

“We don’t have to do anything.”

“That was a fiasco.  You have to see that.”

“I see an incredible night that I spent with an incredible man.   I’m sorry if the night didn’t turn out as well for you.” Rick and Brooke’s contributions notwithstanding, Katie would live that evening over again given the chance.

 “You swore to me there was nothing between you and Ridge.”

“I was wrong, clearly.  I acknowledge that.  Can we talk about this some other time? Or, better yet, never talk about it? Brooke’s a big girl, she can argue with me on her own behalf.”

“She’s devastated.”

“I’m sorry.”  Katie reconsidered.  “You know what, that’s a lie.  I didn’t mean to fall in love with him.  That doesn’t mean I’m sorry I did.”

“What am I supposed to say to that?  Aunt Katie, what are you doing?”

“I don’t know.  Nothing?  This is the way things are for right now. Ridge and I are a couple and we’re happy.”

“I heard, well, _saw_.  The video’s up on TMZ.  Pam’s been fielding calls for days; they’re even trickling over to our offices.  I don’t know what Liam must be dealing with.”

“He hasn’t said anything.”

“He’s covering for you.”

“Tell him I can handle it.” Katie would tell him as much herself later on.

“How sure are you?  This can’t be a fling.  Too much is riding on what you both do to risk a negative turn in public opinion on lust.  I mean, is that what this is or is this the real deal?”

“I’ll get back to you as soon as I have that figured out myself.”

Hope gaped.

“I love him, Hope.  He loves me.  He’s been proving it in a hundred microscopic ways for months and I’ve been too blinded by what Brooke and Bill did to me to let myself love him back.  Once I’d finally given myself permission to feel the way I do, I realized I _had_ been loving him as much as he loved me.”  Seeing her niece’s unwavering skepticism, Katie worked that much harder to put words to this…thing.   _There aren’t always words._  “We called it something else, but it’s been a love story for a long time.”

“Does this so-called love story mean more to you than my mother, _your sister’s_ feelings?”

“It has to.  If I don’t make my own happiness, I won’t have any.  This is my happiness and it’s worth just about anything.  You told me to follow my heart.”

“This isn’t where I wanted it to lead you.”

“That was never going to be up to you.  Our hearts want what they want. All we can choose, at the end of the day, is how we act on that desire.  We can ignore it and go through life that much less fulfilled or we can take the happiness offered to us.  I chose to be happy just like you did and just like Brooke did.  I won’t allow anyone, not you, and not your mother, to call that a mistake.”

“She isn’t going to let this go.”

“Giving up isn’t the Logan way.  We get mad, we get even, and we take what we believe we deserve. I expect a fight.  I’m not scared anymore, and I have no plans to lose.”

**…**

Reading later-breaking articles on that night cemented Katie’s resolve:

> _‘The publisher has brought wit to the artist, and the artist has brought soul to the publisher._
> 
> _It cannot be denied that they were the talk of the evening, business and fashion’s newest IT couple, Katie Logan Spencer, CEO of Spencer Publications, and Ridge Forrester, head designer and former CEO of Forrester Creations.  They charmed the viewing public from their first ‘green carpet’ interview in coordinated Forrester Couture originals to their adoring first dance at the Hope for the Future pre-autumn/winter 2014 event.  But for awkward family ties and chilly family affairs, this couple can do no wrong._
> 
> _According to several sources close to Forrester and Spencer, the dynamic duo are set to announce a slew of joint projects which will elevate both industry giants in the public sphere and in their bottom lines.  Whether they have what it takes to last, with their joint ventures soaring, there is little doubt that this new Spencer-Forrester partnership has the potential to make as big an impression on the rest of the corporate world, and the public, as they’ve obviously made on each other.’_


	10. July, Part I

Katie signed off on another press release. _Morale is up. Profits are_ finally _ticking up.  We’re back in business._   Today’s staff meeting had gone well on the whole.  Her presidents and VPs were cautiously optimistic about the coming quarter.  Saffron, head of Accounting, finally seemed like she might be able to lay off the antacids.

She spun her sturdy office chair, gleeful that she could tell her nosy ex-husband where to stick it the next time he asked how _his_ company was running.  _Beautifully.  Spencer is running beautifully.  That’s how you rule, iron fist in a velvet glove.  I didn’t have to commit corporate espionage either._   Katie had learned from the worst and it hadn’t been easy.

When her assistant came for their morning breakout session, Katie handed off a sheaf of legal documents to be rushed to Legal.  Katie knew the Spencer competitors too well, and was perpetually filing paperwork to cover their interests.

“After you fast-track those to the legal department, would you have Bertie Aldon and Joey Reeves resend their PIT financial summaries?  I’m seeing some discrepancies between this set and the last quarter earnings reports.  They might be typos, but I can’t evaluate typos.  Have them upload them online, I’ll review them on the intranet.  Nobody even has to leave their offices.”

“Got it, boss.”

“Thanks.”

She was all set to move on to the next task on her packed to-do list when Justin Barber, legal eagle, her ex-brother-in-law and all-around stooge to her former husband, barged into her office well ahead of their scheduled meeting.  Adele presented him sarcastically, eyebrows raised.  _She deserves a raise._   Katie made a note of it.

“Justin, what brings you to my office _early_?”

She gestured for him to sit and he did, as casually as Bill would have in her presence.

“I have some concerns.”

“Such as?”

“You and I don’t have the best relationship anymore.  It’s not conducive a sterling performance from me.”

“Perhaps not.”

“I am, however, still official counsel for this office.”

“You are, for now.”

He narrowed his eyes in response.

“I can’t do my job if I don’t have access.  I’ve been shut out of your inner circle and that hampers my ability to represent this office well.  _I want to do the best job that I can for you.”_

 _“Thanks._ But _, I don’t have a problem with your work.”_

_“But I can do so much more.”_

She would resign first.

_“For me or for Bill? Because we all know that your loyalty is to him, so please don’t try to deny it.”_

_“We used to be friends, Katie._ We used to be family.  _Can’t we get past all this animosity?”_

Katie scoffed to keep from bristling.  _The audacity of the people in my life is astounding.  How did I get so lucky?_

 _“After what you and Bill did l_ ast year _?_ _No way._   You have exactly as much responsibility as I believe I can trust you with and you won’t get an inch more.”

“Are you sure that’s wise?”

“I’m very certain.”  Katie crossed her legs under her desk, making herself that much more at home in a seat she didn’t intend to leave.  “But you are right, we were family.  _You were married to my sister, you’re the father of her child.  And no one will deny your value to this company._   Nevertheless, by all rights, you should be fired, you should be long gone.”  Katie sat back to properly inspect the man before her.  “ _But what can I say, it’s a character flaw: I’m loyal to people who aren’t loyal to me.  Because we all know you’re Bill’s right hand man and nothing more._   Trusting you would be tantamount to career suicide.  I’m not prepared to risk you.”

“My loyalty is to this company.”

“Don’t make me laugh—really, don’t.”  She dropped the smile.  “ _You’re his_ minion, _his little puppet,_ and you’re just not ready to cut the strings, so I’m going to give you the smallest possible stage to make a mess.  This is the end of the road, Justin.  _If you’re looking for career growth, I suggest you look elsewhere.”_

Justin’s nostrils flared.  _Temper, temper._   Katie’s suppressed a triumphant grin.

“ _You can’t forgive me?_ _I was just trying to help a friend.”_

Katie’s lashes fluttered in response to the utter bullshit he was attempting to blind her with, yet again.  She leaned forward.

_“You tried to con me.”_

_“Getting Bill get what he deserved.”_

_“By getting him my job? My son? You helped him_ play _me._ Is that the act of a loyal friend?  Who needs friends like that?  I don’t.  _No, signing those papers was the worst mistake I’ve ever made._   You helped make that happen.  On its own that’s reason enough to be wary of you.  If Brooke hadn’t destroyed those papers, I would have lost everything.  Never let it be said that sisterhood doesn’t stand for something.”  _Brooke isn’t a monster.  She has that much family devotion._

“Are you unwilling to negotiate on this point?”

“We just negotiated, and you proved once again why you cannot be allowed any greater influence over this office.  Thank you for coming.  Let Adele know if and when you’d like to meet again.”

Justin stood, fastening the single button of his blazer.  “I’m sorry things have to be this way.”

“So am I.”

He left more calmly than he’d entered.  _I’m going to need another primary attorney._

Katie sighed before resolving to put that meeting behind her.

Adele knocked her telltale knock on Katie’s office door.

“Come in.”

Katie flipped to the last page of _Eye on Fashion’_ s point-in-time financial summary.  _That’s enough ‘Hope for the Future’ features, Liam._   She wrote as much in red pen in the margins.

Adele emerged from the outer office to shut the door firmly behind her.  “I just got word that Karen Spencer is coming for a visit.”

 “I know. She’s borrowing my office to interview for the Rome division—which you already know.”

Adele shook her head, the gesture full of meaning.  “That’s not the only reason.  The NYC division has been hearing rumblings about the L.A. office.  Karen has been hearing them.  She’s worried.”

Katie absently swapped the financial summary for the status report on Spencer’s upcoming literary magazine, the _Creatives’ Quarterly_.

“According to whom?”

Her assistant seemed to weigh the odds.

“Adele, if I’m about to be ambushed, I’d like to know who wants my head on a pike.”  Katie waved her toward the seat Justin had vacated.  “Sit. Talk to me.”

Adele folded her hands together.

“The division assistants communicate to coordinate travel arrangements and conference appointments.  We all talk, from every division, from every department, on every continent; all of them.  We usually know when this company is in for a change before the executives do.”

“You file the paperwork; that makes sense.”  Katie twiddled her pen, not because she wasn’t worried, but because she was.  Adele was level-headed, she would only worry if there was a need. _We have a mole._

“Somebody’s been sending false reports to the New York division. Word is they make you look bad, and the L.A. division seem like it’s in trouble.  Rumor has it someone is manipulating earnings reports and distributing them to potential investors.”  Adele passed her a folded magazine.  It was one of their rival publications.  “I saw this on the newsstand at the corner store this morning.”  Adele headed off Katie’s objections half-formed, “I know you don’t like to read their stuff.  It’s this source.  The source sounds like somebody who knows what they’re saying.”

> ‘ _Forrester Love the Spencer Corporate Kryptonite? Story on page 8.’_
> 
> Katie stared daggers at the poisonous headline and turned to page 8.
> 
> _“Everybody knows that everybody lies, but nobody lies like the Spencer brood._
> 
> _The multibillion-dollar empire is in turmoil after its CEO stepped out with heir to spiritual rival Forrester Creations at a company event last month._
> 
> _‘Company loyalists are jumping ship like rats on a sinking ship.  I’ll tell ya, this company won’t survive Katie Logan.  Take it from me, I’ve seen heads come and go and people have never been this scared for their jobs,’ spoke an inside source on the condition of anonymity._
> 
> _Could our source be right?  Documents provided by our source confirm that morale is down and profits are lower despite positive reception in the industry for new company policies tendered by Logan in her brief tenure._
> 
> _See page 13 for editorial commentary from publishing industry insiders: What’s the problem? Logan or an entrenched corporate culture?”_

Katie forewent the additional commentary.

 _This isn’t true. I’ve seen the numbers._ She had crunched them personally.

“Have there been other articles like this?”

“More and more by the day.  I didn’t pay any attention to them.  There’s usually a balance of positive and negative coverage on the company, but the balance has started to tip _out_ of our favor, which hasn’t happened before.”

“How long have you known about this?”

“This part, awhile.  But the false earnings reports, I’ve known about that for two days.  I found a note on my desk blotter. I don’t know who left it,” Adele rushed to clarify.  “I don’t know how long these false reports have been circulating or who would go so far to bring you down.”

Katie slumped in her leather chair.

“I can think of one or two candidates.  Thank you for letting me know.”  Katie stiffened her spine, readying herself to face the struggle ahead.  “Here’s where your job gets harder.  I need quarterly earnings reports for every department in the L.A. division going back six months. Then, I need overall earnings for L.A. stratified by quarter for the same time period.  _And then_ , I need media reports of our earnings and earnings projections from all the usual suspects, including rival publications.  Something tells me our saboteur has been practicing.”

Adele was heatedly scribbling Katie’s directives.  “This will take a couple of days.”

“Draft any help you need from the other offices.  If anybody so much as sighs, direct them to me.”

Katie rested her hands on her desk and tried to get her head around all this.  _Bill didn’t put up enough of a fuss.  This has been the calm before the storm._   “One last thing.  Would you please call Liam and have him come to my office?  I need a word with my vice president.”

“Consider it done.”

“Thank you, Adele.  You might have just saved my job.”

Adele inclined her head and made her exit, solemn.  Katie wasn’t in a much better mood.

Liam was in front her desk ten minutes later.

“Have you been monitoring the rival press situation?”

Liam hovered a second before being seated.  “I…no?  Is there a rival press situation?”

“Liam, we’re being pounded by our rivals and in the national press.  Tell me you’re in the loop on this.”

“I would love to tell you I’m all over this, but I haven’t got so much as a memo.  I get regular status reports from PR and there’s nothing that I can see that would indicate a problem.”

“Could they be gas lighting _both_ of us?”  Katie hadn’t seen any indication that Liam was out of favor with his father.  Bill might have had unique ideas about parenting, but he wasn’t cruel; he wouldn’t humiliate his son.

“Who’s they?”

“Someone within the company is passing falsified internal memos to the press to drive our numbers down.  Does that sound like anyone we know?”

“Please tell me my dad isn’t behind this.”

Katie’s silence was telling.

“This is nuts.  What does he gain by wrecking Spencer’s image?  That’s money out of his pocket.  This is his legacy he’s flushing down the toilet.”

“If he can make me look bad enough, Karen will have no choice but to have the Board vote me out and reinstate him.  I’m pretty sure that’s his rationale.”

“That isn’t a rationale, that’s a fever dream.  You’re kidding me right now.  Tell me you’re kidding.”

There was nothing to say.

“I will get to the bottom of this.  Talk to my Aunt Karen.  Give her all the assurances you need to that everything is fine. Leave this to me.”

“I’m counting on you.”

“You’ve trusted me this far.  Give me another inch.  I’ve got this—I _will_ get this.”

“Done.  Get to work.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Liam donned his trusty messenger bag and hightailed it out of her office.

Katie checked her watch.  She had her bi-annual checkup this afternoon that Adele had taken the liberty of scheduling during Karen’s temporary handover.  _That’s not for another hour._   Katie was in dire need of a pick-me-up and it just so happened she knew exactly the man for the job.

Katie gave him a call.

“What are you doing in ten minutes?”

“Anything you want.”


	11. July, Part II

**….**

All things considered, Katie thought it best to postpone meeting Karen face to face until she had the facts on her side.  She made her getaway by means of her office’s side exit, allowing Adele to make her excuses.  _A performance bonus is more than in order for her this year._   She was going to have to dip into her own salary to justify the expense.

Katie met Ridge at their favorite rendezvous spot in the park.

He was seated near to the foot of the amphitheater where the three-piece band went about the business of filling the air with song. She let the easy beats be a balm on her frazzled nerves.  Her troubles seemed to fade into the background with each step she took toward the round.

Will was hale and each day growing stronger and handsomer.  She was starting to make a lasting mark on Spencer Publications.  A position that had once been something of a war prize was becoming a job she was proud to do.  This wasn’t Bill’s company alone, this was their legacy to leave to their son.  That Katie now got to contribute to that gave her a sense of accomplishment matched only by bringing Will into the world.

She aspired to be a woman her son could look up to. And she felt she was getting there.

Ridge checked his watch, bringing to mind Katie’s approaching appointment.

She found her thoughts tended to grow light and optimistic, and not a little forgetful, when she laid eyes on Ridge.  As sappy as it was to think, he had awoken the believer in her.  The healing capacity of love was real.

She eased onto the bleachers a couple of rows up from Ridge’s turned back.

“Don’t you get tired of being so handsome?”

He glanced at her over his shoulder, a twist of humor at the corner of his mouth.

“You ever get sick of being that damned beautiful?”

Katie rolled her shoulders, all too aware of the heat of his scrutiny. 

“I can’t say it bothers me.”

He fixed her with a long, consuming stare of a cursed man who’d at long last rediscovered his luck and never intended to let it go.  She’d never tire of being looked at that way.

Ridge beckoned her to come down to his level, hand outstretched.

“You’re too far away.  Sit with me.”

Katie let him guide her over the stone benches separating them.  Heels weren’t the most practical attire for impromptu hikes, but she managed to make it to the sanctuary of his side unhurt.

She folded her leg under her to settle on the stone bench he’d claimed for his own.

Ridge eyed their positions.

“Why’re you all the way over there?”

“If I were any closer, I’d be in your lap.”

He skimmed a knuckle up her thigh.

“See, that sounds like an excellent idea to me.”

“Not that you have ulterior motives for getting your hands on me.”

 “Ulterior? I thought I was being obvious.”

“You’re an enigma. I can never tell exactly what’s happening in that head of yours.”  She slid her fingers up the back of his neck in his hair, smoldering at his admonishing rumble.

“You’re saying I should make my motives a bit more _explicit_ ,” he retorted, rendering the word filthy with unspoken intent.  This was the crux of their affair.  Each and every declaration of love was met by a mutual respect was nourished by an uninhibited craving for each other.  Portioning out loving Ridge from lusting after him from needing him as part of her life wasn’t happening.  This was one relationship where she was permitted to have it all.  And she wanted it all, all the time.

 “I’m saying you’re doing a lot of talking for a man of action.”

Ridge took up his favored pastime of tracing images onto her body.  He made the flare of her hip his page, drawing tight circles and whorls that strayed under the hem of her top.

“What are you designing this time?”

“I can’t tell you that.  If I told you, I’d have to kiss you.”

Katie braced herself on his thigh and leant up to brush their lips together softly, the kiss little more than hint of a promised touch.

“I…”

“Shh.”

She grazed his mouth with hers, lightly skimming the hard edge of her teeth along his lower lip.

“Katie.”  His voice had grown husky, dumbstruck.

“Shh.”

He followed her progress, trying to capture her lips with his, but couldn’t quite catch her to stop her, didn’t quite seem to want her to stop.  The trail of languid kisses she blazed under his jaw was met with equal surrender, save a sudden clinch of his fingers at her waist when her lips met his fluttering pulse.

When their eyes met, she discovered that Ridge’s gaze, dark by nature, had grown darker still.  _I’ll never get sick of that._

Katie grabbed his lapels and drew him down into a languorous kiss.

He deepened the contact, flicking the single button of her blazer loose to slide his hand inside and press between her shoulders.  Like a warm fire in an ice storm, he wanted her closer.  She was the same, inching over till she was all but in his lap.  Ridge pulled her the rest of the way, cradling her face as she made herself comfortable in his arms.  When they kissed, they kissed with their whole bodies, lips were just a start.

A gruff cough brought Katie and Ridge back to themselves, and to the park.  She didn’t try to pinpoint its origin; the message had come through loud and clear.  Katie wasn’t one to act out, but she had no intention of being cowed by strangers.

They parted unhurriedly of their own accord, Katie sliding off her lap, only a jot sheepish.

 “Tell me.”

Ridge huffed, “I can’t remember. God, I can’t, I can’t remember.”  He wet his lips, intent as he was on hers.  “You’re still trouble.  You’re gonna ruin my reputation and get me arrested for public indecency, because I swear if you kiss me like that again in public, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

Katie stroked the side of his neck. 

“And what actions do you have in mind?”

He cupped her cheek.

 _"Je vais vous faire hurler pour moi."_ He kissed each corner of her mouth.  “Look that up and get back to me.”

She nodded dumbly, more aroused than she’d been with his hands all over her.  Ridge’s voice had the power to devastate with hello.  French hadn’t been in the cards.

She made a valiant effort to put her recollection of Ridge’s rasping command to bed.  _Don’t think about beds._   Katie’s imagination was a breeding ground of bad— _marvelous_ —ideas in proximity to Ridge Forrester.  Kissing him in full view of the public was asking for more media coverage she didn’t need, yet the compulsion to do so outweighed her fear of the risks.  _I signed on for this.  Love shouldn’t be a secret._   If only her lust didn’t feel so obvious.

Ridge squeezed her knee.

“You look like you could do with a cool down.  I got you something.”

Ridge reached down to the level below to retrieve a paper cup that he promptly offered to her.   It was startlingly blue raspberry Italian ice, which she was only too glad to take off his hands in the heat of the day.

“It’s sort of melted now, but it got hot while I was waiting and it made me think of you.”

 “What did I do to deserve this special treat?”  Katie sampled a tangy mouthful using the handy red spoon sticking out of the candied mound and hummed her bliss, feeling calmer at once.  There were days when her life was rife with a baker’s dozen tiny treasures.  Ridge remembering her love of Italian ice was today’s number four.

“You called.”

“You’re moving up in my speed dial.”

“There’s more where that came from.”  He moved the icy confection aside to kiss her once again.  She noticed belatedly how he tasted of tropical fruit and lemon zest, and poked at him accusingly.

 “You had two!”

“Prove it.”

Katie initiated another kiss, purely for investigative purposes.  She had to get to the bottom of this mystery.

“Mango. Lemons.”

She could just about tear her eyes from his lips.

“That’s not proof.”

“Maybe not, but it’s a good enough excuse to keep kissing you.”

“You don’t need an excuse.  You have an express invitation.”

“Damn right.”

The band struck up a sensual, twanging ballad as he dipped her backward to resume their earlier activities.

Ridge’s phone vibrated against her ribs inside his jacket.  He grunted.  _Work never ends_ , she thought, petulant.

“I should let you go. You’re probably as busy as I am.”  She was unenthused about the workload sure to await her at home.

Ridge swept his hand down her side, alighting every nerve in his wake.

“There’s no rush.  Forrester is chugging along fine without me.”

“Is this about Rick?  You two still haven’t made up?”

Ridge swiped a spoonful of melting raspberry ice.

“You can’t really make up with a guy you’ve never gotten along with.  Conflict is normal for us.”

Katie readjusted her posture to sit hip to hip with him.

“What happened this time?”

“Rick and I had it out in the boardroom because I want to be president.  I want to be president, he wants me to go to hell.   You can imagine how productive that meeting was.”

“What did Eric say?”

“That Rick had done a good job acting as steward in my absence and he was proud of his accomplishments.  Next he mentioned some of the work I did at International that Rick didn’t know about.  He said he was proud of his sons and wanted us to get along for the sake of the company legacy.  ‘Ambition should unite us, not divide us.’”

“Pithy,” Katie granted.  “He didn’t want to choose between his sons.  I don’t blame him. Can you?”

“There’s a big part of me that feels like Rick’s in my way.  I’m the heir apparent, the firstborn—that should be my job.”

“Rick’s earned _some_ credit.”

“Even after the way he talked to you at the gala?”

“That’s a separate issue.  He’s my nephew, regardless of whether Brooke and I are getting along.  Moreover, he makes Caroline happy.  He supports her work, he loves her.  She feels secure now that they’re together and expecting a baby, and that’s what I care about.  As long as I let him do all the talking, I get to meet my grand-niece or –nephew.  I don’t care what he says, I know the truth.  It wasn’t destiny that brought us together; it’s what we chose.”

“Yes, it was.  I’m just not sure how long I can keep this up at FC.”

“What’s the alternative?”  Katie recalled the employee boilerplate contract from her time as CEO.  “There’s still the non-compete clause to work around if you decide to resign.”

“Resignation isn’t much of an option, but if I get fired, the possibilities are endless.  Involuntary termination voids the non-compete.  I spoke to Carter about it.”

“You want to get fired intentionally from your family company?”

“It’s not that I want to; I’m not sure there’s another way out.”

“Eric might be willing to buy out your employee contract.”

“Once I ask to be released from my non-compete that talk will break down.”

“He’d take it personally.”

“That’s why I gotta get fired.  We make it a clean break and go to our separate corners to cool off and we’re playing happy family again by the holidays.  Call it a risk of doing business.”  Ridge inspected his hands.  “That’s if my brother doesn’t find out.  If Rick cops to this, he’ll keep me under his thumb designing knee socks until I’m seventy.  I won’t make it.”

Katie pulled his hand into her lap.  His nimbler fingers intuitively entwined with hers.

“These kinds of decisions can’t be unmade.  This borders on chicanery and I’m not sure you can come back from it if going it alone doesn’t work out.”

“Maybe it’s time for me to make that kind of choice.  Nothing is ever permanent as it stands, everything inevitably snaps back to how it was.  Something must change for good and maybe I’m it.”

“What did Carter have to say?”

“He suggested I watch my step.”

Ridge raised her hand to his life to kiss each of her fingers one by one.

“That’s the best advice you could take under the circumstances. What else?”

“Short version, he advised me to shut my mouth and let whatever would happen, happen.  Some of the language is fuzzy enough that I could still be sued for breach of contract if it was found that I’d arranged my own termination by ‘dishonest means or manipulation.’”

“Eric wouldn’t go through with a suit against you.  He’s your father.”

“Rick’s my brother and he’s just waiting for his first chance to shove me out the door.”  Ridge rubbed his eyes.  “He’s about to get his best shot.”

“But what happened _today?_   I can see that it’s bothering you.”

“You haven’t told me about _your_ day yet.”

 Katie continued eating her fruity confection with gusto.  With only two things in her favor at present, she intended to enjoy both to the fullest.

“Now that I’m with you, my day is looking up.”

“I have that kind of power over you?”

Katie scrunched her nose.  “I pride myself on trying to stand alone and keep my own counsel.  That’s a lonely, sometimes, _oftentimes_ fruitless endeavor.  Whatever anyone might say, this is good for me.  If our life were a heavyweight fight, you’d be my coach, telling me to keep swinging and to get up no matter how many times I got knocked down.  That’s what you do to me.”

“That’s what you’ve been for me for much longer than you can comprehend.  You look at me sometimes like you think I’m about to change my mind.  You’re waiting on what feels inevitable. I get that, I won’t tell you to stop.  That’s not my right.  Just…if it were possible to describe the power you have over me, I don’t know what I’d run out of first, words or breath. That’s what you do to me.”

Loving him more was nigh on impossible.  How had they gotten to this point so soon?

Katie handed over her Italian ice.  “All yours.”

“Thanks.  Maybe number three’s the charm.”

“Tell me what happened.”

“I made a rookie mistake—I let my ego outmatch my good sense and made a stupid power play without shoring up support.”

Ridge’s attempted coups were the stuff of Forrester legend.

“That must have gone over well.”

“Brooke wasn’t happy.”

“Why was Brooke at Forrester?  I thought she had been banished to the catacombs for being a walking scandal.”

Ridge outlined how the meeting had gone, giving special attention to Brooke’s display of maternal offense.  Katie got a brain freeze from the combined effects of Italian ice and her sister’s timely moral outrage.

“You probably could have planned that better.”

“To say the least.”  He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.  “You think I’m kind of a spoiled brat, don’t you?”

“I didn’t say that,” she rushed to clarify ahead of his blooming smirk.

“I am.  I’m used to being the favored son and that’s made me cocky.  I’ll be paying for that.”

“Eric wasn’t trying to punish you.”

“You haven’t heard the best part. Get this.  Dad’s solution to Rick’s insecurity and Brooke’s worries was to make us co-vice presidents.”

“That…seems a fair compromise.”  _And utterly doomed to fail._   Rick and Ridge shared no common ground other than their father and the company each had dedicated their lives to.

“We’re going to kill each other at this rate.”

“There’s a good chance since you and Rick hate each other.”

Ridge fidgeted on the bench.

“I don’t mean me and Rick, I mean me and Brooke.  Dad brought in a ringer; Brooke’s my new co-VP.”

Katie’s Italian ice was no longer so appetizing, even on Ridge’s lips.

“Be joking.”

“I’m not that funny.”

“Eric—he can’t be serious.  Why Brooke?  Why not Rick? Why not _Caroline_?”

“You’re not gonna like it.”

“I already don’t like it.  How could I like it less?”

“Dad wants me and Brooke back together.  He feels like we’re the future of Forrester, her and me.”

“Do you agree with him?”

“We’re the history of Forrester in some ways, not the future.  My future is with you.”

“What does Brooke think about Eric’s decision?”  Katie could guess.

“She laughed.  I didn’t think it was funny.  It was a little insulting, having my own father try to bribe me like I don’t have a mind of my own.  I didn’t just fall in love with you, I chose to be with you.  Suddenly my choices aren’t good enough to satisfy my father.”

“He’s doing what he thinks is right.”  Katie disagreed with his thoughts, not that she had any business weighing in, despite her twitchy thumb dying to dial Eric’s number.

“It’s not right for Forrester.  He hasn’t consulted me and doesn’t seem to give a damn what I think or what I want.  I didn’t expect that.”

“I’m sorry he let you down.”

“It’s not forever.  An arrangement like this isn’t tenable.  Brooke will block me at every turn.  Rick will help her.  My hands are tied.”

She leaned against his shoulder.

“You staged a failed coup.  How’s it feel?”

“Like failure.  Not that great.”

Katie sat up to give him a second look.  He was annoyed, sure, but she’d seen him angrier.

“You don’t sound as upset as I thought you would.”

“I’m a firm believer in always having a backup plan.”  Ridge hummed, contemplative.  “It also never hurts to have a lawyer in your corner.”

_Bill’s not the only man in my life with a plan._

Katie phone sounded an alarm.  She didn’t have to look at the screen to know what time it was.  She clicked on the power button to put the phone to sleep.

“I approve of that choice and I’m looking forward to hearing the details of whatever you have up your sleeve. On that note, I have to be going.  I have a doctor’s appointment.  Karen’s using my office, so I won’t have to worry about rushing, but I’d like to get this over with and get back to my day.”

“Nothing too serious, I hope.”

“Nothing at all. It’s a routine checkup.  They like to see about my heart from time to time to be sure it’s ticking along the way it’s supposed to.”

Ridge touched the neckline of her blouse where it hid her transplant scar.

“Stormie’s heart is your heart now.  His love for you combined with your zest for life makes it the strongest heart this town’s ever seen.  This’ll be a piece of cake.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” Ridge gave his phone a cursory scroll and then shut it off entirely with a grimace. “Could you use some company?”

Katie leaned down to retrieve her handbag from the ground where it had fallen earlier.

“At the doctor?  Why would you want to spend an afternoon in a doctor’s office?  You could be sketching.”

“I’m an artist. Have paper, will sketch.  I don’t need my office for that.  All I need is a little inspiration.”

“I’d hate for you to bite off more than you can chew.”

 _That look again._   Ridge regarded her in thorough assessment.

“Nah, I think you’re just right.”

**…**

Ridge and Katie travelled to the doctor’s office together in companionable silence, each preoccupied with their phones.  Liam was giving her a continual byplay of the Spencer subversion plot.  How many negative. How many positive. Who and when.  Katie’s vision blurred from staring at the ultra-bright screen.

Upon pulling up outside the medical center, Katie cut off her phone out of habit.

“You don’t have to sit with me, Ridge.  This probably won’t be much fun for you.”

There was paperwork to complete, a checkup, the inevitable intrusive questions.  _Will he want to come in? Am I ready to share that much of my life with him?_

He hoisted a shoulder in a lack of concern.  “I’m where I want to be.”

“You’re supposed to be pitching your new line today, not sitting in a doctor’s office with me.”

“Caroline and Aly can handle it.  It’s a done deal.  This is just a first concept get together.”

This was ineffective at allaying Katie’s concern.

“That sounds important.”

“I left my sketches in their capable hands.  _Defiant_ is a-go.”

“Where did you come up with that name?  You didn’t have one last month.”

“The models walked the first dozen sample ensembles yesterday.  It was a perfect run-through.  I couldn’t have asked for better.  They all looked cool and calm and confident.  They had attitude, had a bit of give ‘em hell in them.  They reminded me of you.”

Katie’s ensuing chuckle was joyless.

“You can’t be serious. I don’t give anybody hell.”

“You gave Steffy three kinds on Hope’s behalf and Bill the same on your own.  You’re capable of it.”

Katie swallowed, ill at ease.

“The entire Steffy affair was far from my finest hour.”  In back of her mind, she kept a running tally of what topics she simply could not discuss and Steffy with Bill was on it, forget the Steffy and Liam affair.  “I doubt it was hers either.”

“Nobody came out of that smelling of roses.  Love, lust, family loyalty—all of it will make you crazy if you let it.”

“Is that what this feeling is?  That explains everything about me.”

“Not the best parts of you.  That’s just how you’re artfully made.”

“That’s a line if I’ve ever heard one. You make it all sound real.”

“I’ll confess it’s a line, that doesn’t mean it’s not real.  The meaning’s as real as you or me.”

 _Just sometimes, I wonder._   Katie touched his chest.

“I want to share all of this with you,” she waved toward the building and the car where they sat.  “My health, my odds, all of what I live with every day. But I don’t think I’m there yet.  There are things _I_ haven’t wrapped my head around yet, and I’m not quite ready to share it all with anyone.”

“Okay.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

“That thought never crossed my mind.”  He caught her hand where it rested over his heart. “There’s stuff I’m keeping close, too.  That’s not a lack of love.  Sometimes, it’s love that makes us hold more back.  That’s fine.  That’s yours.  Someday, it’ll be mine, too.”

“I really do love you.”

“I love you, _more than life itself_.”

What made the progress of their love unnerving was that these words rung true.  Katie, whose very ears had been honed by deception, could not detect any.  She didn’t question the presence of love; she questioned how long it would remain.

“Wait with me?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

Katie exited the car first with Ridge right behind her.  They walked into the doctor’s office hand in hand, and that was the way they left two hours later.

**….**

After saying goodbye to Ridge, Katie picked up Will from the Spencer daycare center and headed home for another afternoon of quality time with her favorite boy.  Something about a clean bill of health made her want to roll around on the playmat having tickle fights with her son.

Dinner was SpaghettiOs for the young sir and chicken carbonara, delivered from Bombay Osteria, for her.  She and her baby boy toasted her good health with wine and apple juice, respectively, and then settled in for an early night of Baby Einstein and the Bloomberg Report.  They were both dozing well before Will’s scheduled bedtime.

Once Will was down for the count, Katie resigned to bed with a stack of articles Liam and Adele had messengered to the house covering the last two quarters of her tenure.

_‘Progress or Pipedream?  Is Spencer’s New CEO Tackling Too Much Too F?’_

_In an economy rife with layoffs and cutbacks, industry insiders are asking whether Spencer Publications’ new head is taking the right stance against falling profits.  Reducing layoffs that cut wide swaths in the Spencer workforce to save families and reduce unemployment is enough to bring a tear to any American voter’s eye, but is it enough to save a business in jeopardy that might not be were it in more ruthless hands?  Say the hands of one Bill ‘Dolla Bill’ Spencer, Jr., the disgraced but not forgotten former CEO and heir to the Spencer empire._

_Experts say that Spencer must make a quick turnaround or risk a capital freefall from which the media conglomerate may not recover and not even a man called Dolla can fix.  Are the experts right or are they just ‘crying wolf’?_

_Only time, and the bottom line, will tell.’_

Katie swished her mouthful of Merlot. That was her third article so far.  The previous two had focused on the public progress of her friendship with Ridge to the exclusion of her business interests, which was a problem, if not one she was overly concerned of.  This heelturn was problematic.

Katie tossed back her sheets and made for the kitchen.  She was going to need more wine.

_‘Is this Feminism financially fatal?’_

_Babies in the workplaces.  Playpen in the corner office.  Is this the sort of example we want to set for working mothers to come?  If you ask Katie Logan Spencer, the new reigning CEO of the Spencer Publications, the answer is ‘hell yes.’  Logan Spencer is doing her level best to have it all; the big chair, the baby, and the handsome new lover, but can she handle it?_

_Trusted insiders within the multimedia giant say no.  Logan Spencer isn’t suited for the brutal chore of taking the sickest of the Spencer herd to the woodshed to be put out of their misery—in the words of one source._

_Her predecessor and former husband Bill Spencer, Jr. is well-known for his no-nonsense approach to profiteering.  This includes a relentless, unwritten policy of terminating longstanding employees just before their pensions are to be a paid and issuing ironclad employee contracts that preclude legal recourse in the event of allegations of wrongful termination.  Though unpopular moves, these initiatives have kept Spencer Publications as the foremost earning in the publishing industry for the last decade.  Until Katie Logan Spencer’s appointment to the position._

_The addition of a fully-equipped childcare to the headquarters of Spencer Publication’s Los Angeles branch has caused more than one raised eyebrow among her professional peers.  Watercooler chatter seems to imply that Logan Spencer has bitten off more than she can chew between her young son, her impetuous beau, and questionable health status, and the proof is in the profit margin.  Where other corporate working mothers of the industry should be rallying behind her, there’s been an ominous silence, leading some to question whether Logan Spencer is being set up as a martyr to the cause of modern feminists the world over._

_Some women can do everything a man does backwards and in heels and some cannot.  Which one is Katie?_

Katie tossed the entire pile onto the empty side of the bed.  The gist of the media narrative was becoming clear to her; this was a takedown that hit where it hurt.  She could acknowledge that she was spread thin.  She didn’t see as much of Will as she’d like.  She didn’t get as much time to sleep or to eat or to see Ridge and RJ as would have been ideal.  Those were sacrifices she was willing to accept in exchange for doing a job that made her proud to go to work.  Failing didn’t make her feel proud, though that was all interpretation and those were all fouled up as evidenced by each of these thinly-veiled criticisms of her performance.

 _I’ve done well.  I’ve done the best I can.  I’ll make them see that, and if it’s my last act as chief executive of this company, so be it._   Katie held back tears of frustration.  She could bear failing; it was being cut off at the knees that got her.  _It’s never enough._

Sure that sleep would be impossible in this mood, Katie put in a call to the one person capable of easing her mind.

_It’s still early._

The phone got off half a ring before he answered.

“Hi.”

Ridge let out a voracious yawn.

“Hey.”

“Are you at home?”

“Working late.  How was your night in?”

“Therapeutic and then some.”

Katie covered those articles with the unused pillow on the other side of the bed.

“I’m jealous,” he sniffed, a chair creaking in the background.

She was reminded of how drawn he’d looked behind that flirtatious smile of his.

“You sound beat.  How have you been sleeping?”

“Not as well as I’d be sleeping with you next to me.”

Katie curled up with her pillow, wishing it were him.  One of his hugs would have gone a long way to clearing the dark clouds hanging over her.

“Nice save.  Answer the question.”

“I’m not sleeping.  There’s no time. We’re working around the clock to update HFTF for winter, and I’ve got my hands full prepping for awards season next year. That’s not counting the Defiant line we’ve gotta get up and running for the buyers by next month.”

Katie thought back to a wheedling text her niece had sent earlier in the day.

“You need to take care of yourself.  Caroline told me about you nodding off in a meeting earlier this week.  I thought you were sleeping okay.”

“There aren’t enough hours in the day.  Now that I’m sharing the vice presidency with Brooke, I’m burning the midnight oil to keep her from blocking every other item on my agenda.”

Katie remained of two minds about Ridge and Brooke working together.   On the one hand, she was glad Ridge had fessed up about Eric’s terms instead of hiding them for fear of her reaction.  On the other, she might have slept a tad easier not knowing.  The price of honesty was the truth, and tonight it was costing her sleep.

“Sounds like a day in my life at Spencer.  If I’m not putting out fires with the department heads, I’m on the phone with our partners, or Will’s nanny, or the Board, or Bill himself on a bad day.  For someone who no longer works here, he has an opinion on everything.”

“I respect that.  That’s how I feel about Forrester whenever Rick makes a decision I disagree with.  You can hear my unsolicited opinions from the next county and I only have a 20% stake.”

“Your green eyes are showing.”

“I’m green all over, honey.”

Katie hauled her wildly protesting waking mind from the gutter.

“You’ve gone and made me curious.”

“Don’t make me drive over there.”

“You’re too tired to drive and I’m wearing reindeer pajamas I got as a gag gift at Christmas.  Can you handle that amount of sexy on so little sleep?”

“I’d be more than willing to give it try.”  His ensuing yawn was not as convincing.  “Betrayed by my own body once again.  I tell you, aging is hell.”

“You’ve got wisdom in every grey hair.”

“You mean like the ones you’re covering up every three months?”

“Don’t start.  Those are _blonde_ roots.  It’s maintenance.”

“Keeping telling yourself that.  You’re not that young compared to me.”

Katie reflected balefully on fortieth birthday.

“I’m young at heart.”

“I like how that sounds.  Forget what my driver’s license says.  When I’m with you, I might as well be twenty-five.”

“Love’s funny like that.”

“Love with you.”

Katie hugged her pillow closer and wished once again he was beside her.  She’d be wishing long into the night.

….

Katie’s early night was a largely sleepless one.  Even after Ridge had thrown in the towel, Katie had remained awake to pore over Liam’s notes on twisted machinations throttling Spencer by the byline.  All of the articles Liam cited indicated that the sources feeding copy to the press had inside knowledge. What wasn’t clear was whether that knowledge was firsthand.  Spencer employed more individuals directly and indirectly than populated some sovereign nations.  Picking a spy out of a number that enormous, not to mention far-flung, was akin to picking a needle out a haystack that had been scattered by a weed whacker.  _This is assuming we’re dealing with_ one _spy.  We haven’t begun to tackle a strategy for exposing multiple._   The odds of Bill employing only one mole were abysmal.

Katie ground her teeth in fatigued agitation when her office door opened to admit Donna the next morning.  _The Brooke Amnesty parade continues._   She shoved her dossier of offending material to the side, quite sure Donna hadn’t shown up to be the sounding board the youngest Logan sister needed.

“Unless you’re here to take me to lunch and _not_ talk about Ridge, we’re not going to have much to say to each other.”

“Brooke and Hope have said their piece, right?”

“Oh, they said their respective pieces and then some.  Never let it be said the Logan woman lack lung capacity.” 

Donna’s mouth twitched.  She seemed to like Katie best at her cattiest.  _At my most Brooke._

“Something has to change. This can’t go on.”

Katie strived for equanimity.

“Answer me this: Did you rake Brooke over the coals like this when the subject was Bill and I was half out of my mind afraid of losing him?”

Donna exhaled sharply.

“Brooke said she knew what she was doing.  I took her word for it.”

“And Brooke’s feelings are the ones that matter.  Not me.  Forget about Will and my marriage.  Brooke had decided she wanted something—to hell with anybody who got between her and her _heart’s_ desire.” Katie hummed in lieu of laughing. “Her heart.  Witty euphemism for our sister’s man-eating libido.”

“You stood by her when it was other people.”

“You’re right,” Katie had to concede.  “I have carried the Logan standard all my life long.  Say I’m a liar and a hypocrite.  Say I can dish it and not take it.  Get it off your chest.  I’m willing to listen to whatever you have to say to me.”

“Sisters don’t do this to each other.”

Donna’s unconsciously wagging finger was peculiarly galling.

“This family does it to each other _constantly_.  Why am I the exception?  Why am I conniving when Brooke’s just _misguided_?”

“You’re the upstanding one.  You’ve always tried to do the right thing.”

_Once again, lobbed as a weapon against me._

“What makes this one thing so wrong?”

“Brooke has loved Ridge her whole life.”

“Brooke has loved Ridge between detours and distractions, one of which was my husband.  That was the man I expected to be loving and loved by at this point in my life.  Bill is far from perfect, but I was confident that he was at least just mine.  Brooke couldn’t be satisfied with that.  She had to have him, too.”

“She didn’t want to hurt you.”   Katie stared her sister down until Donna began to shift on her feet.  Donna exhaled slowly.  “Revenge is destructive, Katie.  Getting back at her doesn’t ease the hurt, it just prolongs it.”

“Nothing was easing it—except for him.  I was angry. I was humiliated. I was hurt deep, deep down.”

“You really think this will fix it?”

Katie ignored her.

“Worse than all that is that I was so down on myself that it took me months to notice how Ridge looks at me.  He doesn’t look at me like I’m as unworthy as Brooke and Bill and every one of you who has told me to ‘just let it go’ has made me feel.  He doesn’t see a pale imitation of my sisters.  Six months of lunch dates, flower arrangements, family outings; him holding my hand and drying my tears, _confiding in me and no one else_ , and I was so wrapped up in my misery I almost let him slip away.  What for?  He doesn’t want her.”

“He’s said that before.  He cannot keep his word.”

“Oh, please, Donna.  Nobody in this town keeps their word!  There have been long periods of time when they weren’t together.  Remind Brooke about Taylor and the family she and Ridge raised together.  Remind her about Caroline and Ashley.  Ridge has loved other women.”

“Ridge has loved Brooke for most of her adult life.  Are you prepared to fight her off?  You know how she can be when she’s following her heart.”

Katie propped her chin on her hand.

“You pretend to be neutral when it comes to me and Brooke, but you always pick a side, ultimately, and it’s never mine.  Let’s skip to the part where you tell me I’m tearing our family apart and leave it at that.  I have a schedule to keep.”

“I love you both.  You’re both my sisters.  I don’t want Ridge to come between us.”

“Brooke did that.  She destroyed our sisterhood.  This is me moving on.”

“You’re kidding if you think there isn’t any way to do this without destroying Brooke.”

“I don’t lie awake at night plotting to break Brooke’s heart like she broke mine.  I lie awake and think about Will.  I think about what I’m going to tell him about why his daddy isn’t home with us when he’s old enough to ask.  I think about how I’m going to juggle a fussy toddler entering his terrible twos with a conference I have to attend in Beijing in four months.  My life is not about her.  It’s bigger and vaster than she can imagine, or you, apparently.

“Doing what makes Brooke happy and me miserable is not keeping the peace. That’s maintaining the status quo.  I refuse to do it.  Do it without me.”

“I’m just trying to hold it all together.”

“You don’t have to, that’s not your place.  Stop playing hall monitor and live your life.  Get Eric back, see Marcus and your granddaughter more than once a month.  We’re not teenagers anymore, we don’t need a mediator.”

“Somebody has to make the two of you see sense.  Look what we have to lose.”

“You know, when things with Bill are _really_ bad, I replay the last two years of my life, picking apart my every mistake, wishing I could have done just the right thing to keep my husband from sniffing after my sister like a dog in heat.  I hate that I didn’t fight harder to save my family from her—but I didn’t know I had to fight and I was too sick, which evidently wasn’t reason enough to win.  That’s not a mistake I’m going to make with Ridge.  He and RJ and Will are my family.  Brooke cannot take that.”

“RJ is her son.  You can’t keep them apart.  You’d flip if anybody to stop you from seeing Will.”

“You’re right, I would.  I wouldn’t do that to Brooke.  I _couldn’t_ do that to Brooke.  I’m not crazy, Donna,” Katie sighed at her sister’s expression.  She was never allowed so much as a slip of the tongue in Brooke’s world.

“Nobody would know that from how you’re behaving.  You need to grow up. This is not a game, these are people’s lives!”

Katie slammed her hand on her desk hard enough to topple her favorite framed picture of Will.

“Let’s get something straight. _You don’t get to talk down to me_. I am not a child any longer.  RJ is my nephew, he will always have a place with me so long as Ridge permits it.  Brooke will not interfere with that.  I will also not allow her to interfere with Bill and Will’s relationship.  Furthermore, she will _not_ interfere in my relationship with Ridge.”

“She’s over Ridge.”

“Sell it to somebody who hasn’t been here.  You and Hope can’t seem to tell if you’re coming or going any better than Brooke can.  Today, she’s over him. Tomorrow, I can’t listen to my voicemail for all the messages she’s leaving about this ‘mistake’ I’m making.”  Katie scoffed.  “Save it.”

“This is a mistake.  She’s right about that.”

“You know what, maybe it is.”  Katie shrugged, unruffled as can be.  “This is our mistake to make.  I don’t know where we’re headed, but I am committed to seeing this through and so is he.  Furthermore, we are committed to protecting our family from anyone we deem to be a threat to our happiness.  Take that back to big sis and see what she has to say about it.  _You and Brooke don’t take me seriously, Donna, but you should._ I told Hope and I’m telling you: I’ll fight her this time and I’ll win.”


	12. July, Part III

Katie sat, deflated, in her office after Donna had gone.  _The happier I am, the more I have to fight._   She was starting to question whether that was a sign.

“I’m sick to death of thinking about Brooke’s feelings. When do I get to think about mine?”

“You have that option,” Ridge opined from her laptop screen.  Skype was heaven sent in these moments.  “I’ve been telling you to do that. Put what you want first.”

“I want your opinion on something.”  He held up his tablet where he’d been pinned two purple-ish swatches he was having trouble choosing between.  “Brinjal or caponata?”

 _Which is which?_   Katie didn’t know brinjal, but she knew wine. She guessed.

“You can’t go wrong with a good red.”

Ridge studied the pair, holding them up to the light to see how they caught it.  Where Katie saw two purple pieces of fabric, Ridge saw readymade ensembles and accessories and shoes under high definition camera flashes and halogen limelight.  The little things were his business, but they were what kept Katie up at night.  The little things.

Katie felt as if she’d done nothing but complain since Ridge had come back from Paris.  She didn’t want everything she was feeling, or how _much_ she felt at every moment, to drive him away.

“I was also thinking about currant and aubergine.  Currant’s kind of sullen, aubergine’s regal and it catches the eye at a glance. I’m gonna go with that.”

“Sounds great.”

Ridge cocked his head, an eyebrow rising though his head was bent over his sketchbook.  Katie thought over her response, she might have sounded come across a little peeved.

“Sorry, I’m—I’m all over the map today.  Donna got to me.”

“That’s not everything.”  He dropped his pen after making a note in the margin of the page.  “First thing we’re going to have to do if we’re going to be happy, we’re going to have to talk to each other.  That means confessing when we’re feeling overlooked and overwhelmed.”

_He has a life other than me.  He doesn’t need me talking his ear off, all because I don’t know how to let disapproval roll off my back._

“Admitting that hasn’t worked out for me in the past.”

“It can.  I know I don’t have the best track record, but I’m willing to give us my all.  Not Brooke, not Taylor, not anyone else; you, Katie.  You just have to show you’re willing to give me that chance.  I love you and I’m putting my heart in your hands because that’s the commitment you need from me.  You have it.”

Katie picked at her nail polish.  _I’ll have to repaint these._

“I’ve never been this neurotic. I’m spooking at shadows.  How can you want somebody who scares this easily?”

“You’re scared, so what?  The bravest people the world has ever seen were probably scared all the time.  Fear is the realization that you’re facing something tremendous; bravery is facing it.  I’ve never seen you so brave.”  Ridge reclined in his chair.  “Courageous, strong, captivating; the very definition of grace.  That’s you.”

“You must have an encyclopedia of compliments.”

“I have eyes, common sense.  Ready-to-wear compliments aren’t my style any more than readymade clothes.”

“You never fail to take me by surprise.  Rugged, talented, loving, and compassionate.  I don’t think there’s just one word that you embody.”

“How about ‘yours’? I’m yours and I’m not leaving.”

“I want to believe you.”

“That’s a start.  Everything else will just be me proving you made the right decision.  I don’t mind.”

“You’re being more understanding than I deserve.”

“There’s no such thing. I’m in love with you, I’m the lucky one.”  He bent near to the screen.  “You are the bravest woman I know.  Let Karen see that and you’re sure to come out on top.”

**….**

Later that morning, Katie brought up her email to see what disaster required her oversight next.  She found a message marked urgent from Liam.  Inside was a blog snippet from one of their high-traffic online rivals.

_‘Logan & Forrester Duo Expecting???’_

_Pictured below, the pretty fashionable couple can be seen exiting an area doctor's office arm in arm.  The powerful pair is all smiles as they board their hired car to take them back to work after a midday doctor’s vistit following a steamy make out session in Pan-Pacific Park.  Could the savvy twosome be adding an heir to their ever-expanding list of assets?   No news yet, but like all truths, babies will out!  Should the New Year find the Who’s Who of Los Angeles welcoming another newborn and fabulous fashionista to the pack, just remember, you heard it here first!_

_\--Fashion Undercover_

Liam had appended a message at the bottom.  _‘Something you wanna share with the class?’_

Katie shot back a quick reply: _NO._

 _PR is going to kill me._ The Board _is going to have me taken out back and shot._   She had some phone calls to make.

**….**

Katie had just hung up from a protracted called with the chairman of the Spencer Board of Directors when her office door opened unexpectedly.  In walked Bill’s sister and out walked any chance Katie had of controlling this media meltdown already in progress.

“Karen, welcome.”

_This week has reach its pinnacle.  I cannot fathom it getting any worse._

Her ex-sister-in-law regarded her candidly.  Karen wasn’t a woman who suffered fools—she hadn’t suffered Bill one moment longer than she’d been required.

“I’m here ahead of schedule for two reasons.  The first, Bill called me, and called me. Then, he had Caroline call me _and_ my wife.  Not to worry, my daughter vouched for you. That was one reason.  The second reason is that I’ve been reliably informed that there have been some new _developments_ and I thought I should hear of them from you.”  She said ‘developments’ as Katie might have once said ‘mistakes’ in reference to Brooke’s romantic imbroglios.

“Where to begin?”

Karen sat down and crossed her legs.  Whilst Brooke was seduction wearing an angel’s face, Karen was cool elegance where angels feared to tread.   Katie scrambled to gather her thoughts.  _This is the bushwhacking I hoped to head off._

“Let’s start with those directly impacting the company.”

Katie wished she had a glass of water, or an escape route.

“No problem.  Employee satisfaction dipped for a few months after the handover, but it’s rebounded since April.”

“It’s more than rebounded.  The employees love you.  My brother couldn’t say the same.”

“My management style is a little less evil dictator and a little more carrot and stick.”

“It shows.”

Katie thought back to the rest of the most recent company numbers.

“Customer satisfaction is holding steady.  Circulation has increased as we’ve expanded our coverage to include even more fashion-related topics in _Eye on Fashion_ and appealed to the L.A. literary community with the poetry competition we plan to launch in the fall.”

“I got your report on that.  It was sound and thoroughly researched.”

Katie waited for the boom to drop.

“Ridge Forrester’s finger prints were all over it.  Your thoroughness and his style.  That’s a heady combo.”

“He agreed to sponsor on Forrester’s behalf. We’ll do the work and they’ll foot the bill. We’ll go half on the prize money payouts.”

“The Board and I are happy to throw our weight behind this campaign.  As you said, it’s increased our standing in literary circles, which can only increase our profit margins.  From a personal standpoint, Danielle is very much onboard with this plan.  She’s in favor of anything that raises the profile of aspiring writers and poets.”

“Glad to get her seal of approval.”  _One hurdle overcome._

“As for your personal situation…”  Karen shifted forward in her chair and Katie moved in kind.  _This is personal._ “I’m inclined to offer this warning: You’ve earned your stripes in this office, but you will lose them like _that_ ”—she snapped her fingers—“if this gets messy.”

“We’ve been above reproach—“

“Katie, _no one_ is above reproach, not even my idiot brother and he owns 49% of Spencer Publications. We— _I_ made an example of him and I promise you he is waiting in the wings for us to do it to you.  Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

Katie debated mentioning the matter Adele had brought to her attention, but she couldn’t be sure Karen had gotten wind of the variable press Spencer was experiencing on this side of the country.

“Are you planning to shuffle your feet some more or are you going to tell me what on your mind?”

“Hypothetically speaking—“

“Oh, hell.”

“This is purely hypothetical.”

“ _Katie._ ”  The Spencer tone of chastisement must have been genetic.

“If someone were, say, sabotaging Spencer from the inside, what do you think the odds are of Bill being involved?  He wouldn’t sabotage his own company, would he?  He’s not that craven.”

Karen massaged her temple.

“That wasn’t a question, though I don’t have the answer even if it is one.  My brother is a man of complicated motives, most of which are selfish.  He’ll tell you as much if you ask him.”

“You have to value his honesty, if nothing else.”

“More people would if they weren’t unfortunate enough to get caught under the spinning wheels of his ambition.  Bill will do a lot of things to get his way, and sabotage is on the list, no doubt about it.  Lucky for you, Bill and I are cut from the same cloth, because I’ll do a lot of things to _keep_ my way.”  Karen stood to leave.  “Send me a report detailing whatever it is you think my brother’s done.  I’ll deal with it.  You just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“I’m not out of a job?”

“Not today.  I’ll resume the interviews after I pay a visit to my daughter and grandchild-to-be.”  Karen grimaced through her joy.  “When did I get old enough to be grandmother?”

“Time speeds most when you want it to slow down.  Will turns two in September, but I swear I just felt his first kick a week ago.”  She propped her chin on her hand.  “Dani must be thrilled.”

“She’s writing a parenting handbook for Caro to hide how terrified she is that she’ll be a bad grandmother.”  Katie knew Caroline was struggling with similar doubts about her ability to raise her child as well as she’d been raised.

“It’s not possible.”

“I’ve been telling her this for two months.  Brilliant woman, bullheaded as a runaway train.  Guess who our daughter takes after.”

Katie hid her smile.  Caroline had come by her mulishness earnestly on both ends.  “No idea.”

“I’m off. Try not to let my brother burn the place down while I’m gone.”

“I’ll hide the matches.”

Karen chuckled, shaking her head, and left Katie to her own devices.

_Bill Spencer, what are you planning?_

**….**

Katie hated herself for calling the moment her ex-husband picked up.

“You need to hear me, Bill. I don’t care what your game is, but it is dangerous and it is jeopardizing the company you claim to care about.”

“Are we in the middle of conversation?  Because I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Do not play games with me, I have the patience of a saint; I will wait you out as long as it takes.”

“If you’ve got something to say to me, Katie, you’d better say it.  I don’t like riddles.”

“You deny that you’re behind the media carpet bombing Spencer is dealing with.”

“I swear on my sons’ lives.”

What was worst was that Katie believed him.  But if not Bill, who would go to these lengths to undermine Katie’s leadership? In truth, Spencer had so many competitors that there could be any number of individuals making an attempt now that Spencer seemed weak at the knees.  _They’re going for my throat.  I’m going to have to give them a fight._

**….**

Katie examined her reflection in the mirror of the CEO’s personal washroom.

 _This is my son’s legacy, it’s_ my _legacy. I will protect it._

Her course duly charted, she convened Liam and her VPs in the executive conference room for a little tête a tête before certain death.

She was sure that all and sundry had been informed of the nosedive the company’s public figures had taken.  From their defensive postures, she knew they were expecting to be left holding the buck.  That wasn’t how Katie did business.

She positioned herself behind the executive seat at the head of the table.

“Spencer is in trouble, I think we’re all aware of that.”

Their answering mumbling was ambivalent at best.

“We need to stop reacting to what our competitors have to say about us and start anticipating the onslaught.  We need a game plan for getting ahead of the news cycle.  I’ve put up with this for long enough, I think we all have.”

Everyone nodded, some reluctantly, and others with more vehemence.

“I’m done being caught on my back foot and I’m done seeing this company’s reputation dragged through the mud under false pretenses.  We’re fighting back with facts.  Talk to your contacts at the rival press. Invite them to brunch.  We’re going to show our competitors just how it is a successful business at the top stays at the top.”

“DEFCON One,” Saffron enquired, plucked brows pitched high.

Katie lowered her chin in agreement.  “Bring out the family photos and financial statements.  If they want the truth, they’re going to get so much truth they’ll choke on it.”

Finally, her staff seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.  Playing nice just wasn’t their forte.

Whoever had targeted Spencer for annihilation was about to have a terrible day.  Katie would see to it.


	13. July, Part IV

Katie sat down on the first row at the end of the runway in the Forrester showroom, toeing off one of her pumps to rub the ball of her foot that had been barking since noon.  _All the pacing didn’t help._   She was just short of hoarse from the number of print interviews she’d handled after her staff meeting this afternoon. She smiled, nevertheless, when Ridge re-appeared from backstage to join her in the viewing area.

He picked up on her mood right off, taking up residence in the chair beside her.

“Bad day?”

“It isn’t one of the best I’ve had lately, but it’s steadily improving.”  Assuming she ignored the more puzzling aspects, it was wonderful.  _Remember when I dreamed of a simple life._

“ _I tend to have that effect on women_ , _”_ he boasted, meeting her halfway for a sumptuous hello kiss.  She dropped her clutch to get her hands on him, under his jacket and as close as she dared to skin.  He dropped his portfolio to return the favor.

 “That’s what they all say.”

He kissed her again.

“You sure know how to lighten the mood.”

She pealed back his unbuttoned collar to trace his Adam’s apple.  “That’s what they all say.”

He swallowed at the lightness of her touch.  Ridge had a neck made for attention and Katie was powerless to resist lavishing him with it.  Not that he was any slouch in the lavishing department.  Two kisses in thirty seconds was tame for Ridge Forrester.

She noticed Ridge’s cellphone lit up inside his open jacket.

“Looks like you’ve got a new text.”

Taking a moment to retrieve his portfolio from the floor, he checked the message, scratching his cheek in bemusement.

“RJ?” she guessed.

“Don’t I wish.”  He pocketed the phone, evidently opting not to respond.  He shifted toward her.  “I don’t wanna talk about it.  I wanna talk about you.”

Which was the last thing Katie was up to after this morning.  “What about me?”

He adjusted his sleeves. “I wanna get your opinion on the line.  This is your first time seeing it post-fabrication.”

Katie grabbed her handbag off the floor, checking that nothing of import had been lost.  “I’m still not an industry professional.”

“Good, that’s not what I need. I need you.  Like I said, I trust you.  You won’t lie to me and you give good advice.  I need that, I’m too close to this.  It’s a labor of love, I’m biased.”

“You’re a designer, every article you produce is a labor of love.”

“Not so.  Some things you do to pay a car note, some you do because to deny yourself the opportunity is to deny who you are. The latter are passion projects.  Defiant is a passion project, because I’m passionate about my inspiration—women like you.”

“You showed me once the amount of love that can be sewn into a garment with needle and thread. Can you do that again?”

“I can do anything for you.”

_Like remind me of my best self and give me back my heart?  I think you can._

“You’ve done just about everything.  This is just another day.”  She ran her hand along his shoulder.  “Inspire me.”

He cupped her chin to kiss her swiftly on the lips.  “Gritty as hell.”

His murmuring kisses were her sweet addiction; how his words seemed to tumble down her nerves like scales, each one a perfect note.  This note rang true as any other, singing to her bones in a pitch she’d grown to love; one that kept her awake on as many nights as it had soothed her to sleep, and all before a single declaration.

“I’ll set everything up. Don’t go anywhere.”

Katie relinquished her hold on him reluctantly.  She grew accustomed to his heat whenever they were together and was forced to acclimate to being that much colder the instant he stepped away. 

He bounded off the scene to prepare, leaving Katie to check her mobile phone for update from her staff and Will’s sitter.  Her company remained intact; her son was possibly teething. _Let’s upgrade ‘one of those days’ to ‘one of those months.’_   Katie was now more eager than ever to put tonight’s plan into effect, assuming Ridge would agree.

Ridge made his return as violet strobe lights began arcing in a prescribed light show over the runway.  _Looks like War of the Worlds._

“It’s twelve looks, ranging from business to business casual; black, white, and blue mixed in with jewel tone solids and the odd print.”

He sat forward in his chair right as the first model appeared in a white linen dress.  Katie was duly impressed, if not overly wowed, until the light on the strutting model intensified to reveal the fine gold thread running through the fabric making the woman shimmer with each stride.  _No one who failed to look would see.  A microscopic rebellion._   Katie’s approving smile grew.  She was for rebellions of all sizes.

The cobalt tailored dinner jacket. The black cigarette pant with the leather racing stripe.  The black pencil skirt and blazer lined in white and blue damask.  She could have picked any one piece to build an outfit.

By the gold-faced cameo fastenings of the collection’s final ivory greatcoat, Katie was soundly in love with _Defiant._

Ridge sat all wound-up watching her watch the models make their impressions on the catwalk.

“Look at ‘em. You see that?  They’ve got spirit, élan; the whole nine yards.  I like it.  What do you think?  I trust your opinion.”  He fidgeted, wringing his artist’s hands.  Katie didn’t think he had anything to fear.

“I’d wear all of it.”

Ridge rubbed the pads of his fingers together.  She stilled his twitching.

“You’re not just saying that?”

“To spare your tender feelings?”

“Be gentle with me, I’m a wounded man.”  He proffered a bandaged pinkie, affecting a suitably pitiful posture, though she was sure he’d faced no greater peril than a misplaced stickpin.

Katie kissed the embattled digit.  “You’re my man and you’re stronger than most can see.”

“That’s why we go together so well.  A man is only as good as the strong woman who loves him.”

“You don’t have to butter me up, I told you, I love it.”

He let out a sigh of relief.  “I’m glad, because we’re over budget and can’t make any changes.”

She pinched him.

“Ouch!  Your input is invaluable, I meant that.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Yeah, but you love me anyway.”

“I do.  Somehow, I do.”

He signaled for the models to head back stage and put his arms around her.  He wasn’t all that smooth about it, but she didn’t mind.  He didn’t need an excuse to hold her.

“We’re squeezing in Fashion Week in September, so I’ll be in New York heading up the Forrester shows between the 4th and the 11th.”

“I’ll try to go on.”

“Cruel woman.”

Katie disentangled herself from the weighty captivity of his arms.  “Cruel, you say?  We can’t let have mixed up with a woman like that, can we?”

He affected a pout that was far cuter than it had any right to be on a man of his age.

“Come ‘ere.”

Katie tossed her hair over her shoulder.  “Oh no, I’d hate to be a bad influence on you.”

Ridge got up from his chair to tower over her, no threat in evidence yet no less a predator.  “What if I like you being my bad influence?”

“I don’t know, I figure you’ve had your fill of bad girls.”

She backed away from the gallery, thrilled that he understood. He followed, graceful for all his height and immense reach.  She didn’t know why she chose this place or time to play. He brought this whimsical abandon out in her, his love.  If she had a pillow, she might start a pillow fight just to see the look on his face.  Would she want to kiss him as much then as now? She thought she might.

“What should I do with you, Katie?”

Her suggestions weren’t fit for present company, many of whom feigned not to see them.  And she didn’t care, not a bit.  She had earned her right to care less.

Realizing she’d gotten backed into a corner, Katie deftly evaded his hands to come to his other side.  His back was to the wall now; he was all but her prisoner, trapped in the space between her arms.

“I think the question is what I should do with you.”

He cocked his head to give their positions a look.  “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she said, not unaware of the twinkle in her eye that foretold great and terrible things.

Thus, when he grabbed her by the hips and spun her so she was trapped between his body and the wood paneling, she wasn’t surprised.  She wasn’t even upset.  The wood was cold and hard against her shoulder blades.  There wasn’t anything cold about him. 

“You’ve got no idea how crazy I am about you.”  The featherweight of his hand along her jaw, spanning the column of her throat in a reverent caress made her pulse flutter.  Like his words, his hands were laid sparingly and always with the utmost meaning.

“I’m starting to get the picture.  Maybe try showing me again, though; I learn best by repetition.”

He drew his fingers down her collarbone to outline the phantom of her scar.  “I want every inch of you.”

“Come and get me, whenever and however you want me.”

He tightened his grip on her waist, the twitch of man too aware of what he wanted and couldn’t have in the moment.  “That’s a dangerous offer to make.” 

“I guess you could say I’ve developed a taste for that lately.  I wonder how that happened.”  She bit her lip on a smirk that came unbidden.  Ridge wasn’t the safe choice, he wasn’t the love that came without risk; he was simply the right one.

His gaze flittered over her in that hungry way that made heat pool in the pit of her stomach.  Every inch of her that he craved, craved him.  How had she come this far without being consumed by this?  She didn’t think she could go another day.

Just Ridge looked as though he might ravage her where they stood, Caroline and Carter coughed conspicuously from the sidelines.  Katie hadn’t realized they were in the room.  Caroline’s cough came out more like _bow chicka bow bow_ in a rough undertone than a real cough.  Carter’s sounded more like poorly concealed church giggle.

The mood was dead; if only somebody would tell her lungs, her dizzy heart.  Ridge disappointment was in the twist of their hands together, the soft squeeze.

Ridge’s cellphone vibrated between them.

“Hold that thought,” he sighed, only to sigh again on checking the display.  “I gotta pick RJ up from soccer practice and drop him off at Brooke’s.”

Just the reminder Katie had hoped to avoid.  Not RJ, but Brooke, who tended to herald difficulty by the slightest mention of her name.

“Don’t look like that.  I’m gonna need something to look forward to afterward.  Don’t forget where we left off.”

Katie forwent his lips to kiss the prominent tendon in his neck, following it to where it met clavicle and shoulder.  His breath left him in a rush only when she stopped.

“I’ll save the rest for later.”

“You’re killing me.” He pressed closer, close enough that clothes made little difference to the spectacle they were making.

 “Don’t you have someplace to go?” she asked, even as she scraped her nailed down the nape of his neck.

He growled.  “That kid...”

“Parenthood is as sweet as it is painful,” she opined wryly, equanimity restored.

“Loving you isn’t.”  Ridge gave her a peck on the mouth, then pulled back.

She lamented the loss at once, sulky as a teenager far less blessed.  “Don’t be gone long.”

He blew across the shell of her ear. “I couldn’t stand it,” he murmured and slipped away.

Caroline winked at Katie from across the room and Katie smoothed her wrinkled attire, pretending all the while she wasn’t turning bright red at the scrutiny she was getting from the Forrester employees in the showroom.  Momentary lapses she could deal with; it was the moments after that still gave her trouble.

She jumped, scared witless when Ridge popped back into the showroom.

“Do me a favor?”

“Name it?”

“Help me move into my new beach house.”

This was the first Katie was hearing of any beach house.

“Sure.”

“I’ll text you the address.”

“Okay, see you then.”

He winked and disappeared again.

Caroline swept over, beaming at Katie’s dopey, mystified grin.  _What can I say? It’s the Ridge Forrester effect._

“It’s all full steam ahead on the good ship Kridge, I see.”

“…Kridge?”

“Your smush name.  Katie plus Ridge equals Kridge.”

“It’s not exactly Brangelina.”

Caroline shrugged, unconcerned.  “They can’t all be winners.  Now, tell me everything.  Is he sweet to you? Does he spoil you rotten? I bet he does, I’ve seen how he can’t keep his hands off you.  I think _we’ve all_ seen how he can’t keep his hands off you.”  She fanned herself melodramatically.

Katie huffed, somewhat self-conscious and, all right, overjoyed.  “He’s not that bad.”

“Bad, what’s bad about a hot, fashionable guy who drops everything the second he catches a whiff of your perfume?  He designed an entire fashion line in your image, Aunt K, you’ve got him hooked and he’s happy about it!  You should be shouting for joy, so why aren’t you?”  Caroline was once again demonstrating spectacular insight.  Katie wondered if there was something in the water.

“I am, Caroline,… _inside_.  Ridge loves me, I love him. You know me, I’m never content to celebrate when I can worry.”

Caroline propped herself up against the nearest potted plant.

“That totally makes sense, just don’t let your fear of the end sneaking up behind you keep you from having the time of your life with the person who’s choosing to share their life with you.”

“You’re the third Spencer to give me love advice.”

“We’re kind of great at giving advice, I know.”

Katie gave her a look.  “Don’t let your uncle hear you say that or he’ll never stop talking my ear off about Ridge.”

Caroline scrunched up her nose in sympathy.  “You got me there.  My lips are sealed—so long as you tell me _everything_.”

“As if you couldn’t find out on your own.”

Caroline hooked her arm through Katie’s and led her out of the showroom.  “The moms taught me the importance of cultivating my own sources at an early age. I’ve never forgotten that.”

“Speaking of your mom, did you get to see her? She told me she was stopping by this morning.”

“I did! I love having her around.  The only downside of living in California is having her and mom two on the other side of the country.  I want all my family close to me where I can see them and make sure they’re safe and taking care of themselves. You know how they get when they’re working.”

“You’re nesting.”

Caroline pulled a face.  “Ugh, there has to be better word for that. Nests are all dirty with twigs and _uck_!”

“Weird smells getting to you?”  Katie winced in sympathy.

“Weird everything gets to me lately.  Just thinking about _nature_ makes me all _blech!_ ”  The younger woman shuddered as if trees had offended her personally.

Katie was reminded of her own debilitating bouts of nausea during her pregnancy; everything artificially-flavored and –scented had become the enemy.  _Will didn’t take the easy route into the world_.

“How’re things going with the baby?”

“Everything’s amazing.  I’ve had a little morning sickness; not much, just enough to remind me that I’m not alone in here.”  She patted her slightly curved stomach.  “I’m craving everything from sour cream & onion chips to duck a l’orange.  Rick’s been a saint about keeping me fed and happy.”

“Speaking of men who are crazy in love...”

Caroline sighed a contented sigh.  “I’m pretty crazy about him, too.”  Her mood dimmed a bit as she continued.  “But sometimes, when I think about all the whacked out stunts I pulled just to get him to notice me, I wonder if it’ll all crumble around me, you know?  My dreams came true; what if it’s not forever?”

Katie hugged her niece to her side.  “A wise woman told me that you can’t let your fear of the end prevent you from enjoying the beginning.  The end is some other day.  Today is sunny with a chance of even more sun.  Hold on to that.”

“I try.”  Caroline wagged her head to swing her blonde curls out of her face.  “I get so moody these days.  I knows it’s the hormones; doesn’t stop them from getting the best of me.”

“Everybody understands, probably nobody more than me.”

“Oh! I forgot about…”

“I won’t sugarcoat it, the PPD was god awful; I’m not sure there’s anything as horrifying as your body and mind waging war against you.  It can change you forever.  That’s the bad news.”  Katie rubbed Caroline’s hand between hers.  “The good news is that we all know what to look for now.  If something goes wrong, you’ll get help immediately and you will never have to worry about suffering like I did. I wouldn’t let that happen.”

Caroline waved a hand in front of her eyes.  “Oh, crap, I’m tearing up again.  I think my mascara’s gonna run.”  She swore and Katie pulled her into an even tighter hug.

“You’re going to be just fine.”

Caroline gave up fanning her face to sigh into Katie’s shoulder.  “You don’t know how big a relief that is to hear.”

“Then, my next words are sure to be a letdown.”

She felt her niece brace herself.  “What is it?”

“How do you feel about gelato?”

“About like I feel about my baby: I’m in love with it and now that you’ve mentioned it, I _need_ it.”

“Ridge’s favorite café just happens to make the sweetest, the creamiest gelato you will ever eat and it’s twenty minutes away tops.”

“You can’t just say that and not deliver! What are we waiting for? The expectant mother would like a gallon, let’s go!”

“We can go anytime.”

“I don’t think you understand the urgency of my baby.  She has fallen in love at first imagination with the word ‘gelato.’  My taste buds are swimming. Aunt Katie, this is a matter of national importance.”

“I’ll call my driver back.”

“Forget your driver, we can take my car.”

What followed was a gab session Katie sorely needed.  Caroline knew everything there was to know about who was sleeping with whom, where and when, and whilst married to whom else.  Katie was more informed by the time she left La Bocca than she had been after a morning of reading the Washington Post.  _Never doubt that a few dedicated fashion designers can change the world.  They probably already have._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all. I apologize for my tardiness in updating. The show's not giving me much to work with, but have heart because I finished most of this story before the writers ruined everything, so it's all good. And yes, we're still in July because it's the month that never ends. August and September are written, though. Anyway, thanks for hanging in there.


	14. July, Part V

Katie drove up to Liam’s house on the beach with her son in tow.

“Guess where we’re going. We’re going to see Daddy and Liam! Aren’t you excited?”

Will squirmed in his car seat.  He responded to her smiles with even bigger smiles, leading her to guess his gums weren’t bothering him too much.  She tried to make sure she looked happy when she took him to see his father, because she didn’t want him to be upset when she was.  Bill was her problem, not Will’s.

They sang a rousing chorus of the Old MacDonald song as she carried him to the front door.

Liam answered within a minute of her ringing the bell and let them in.  The brothers greeted each other fondly, exchanging exaggerated high-fives and indistinct male sounds.  Bill was shirtless as if he’d been working out.  Katie allowed her gaze to linger momentarily, but the thrill was gone.  She loved with her mind first and then her heart; once those faiths were lost, there wasn’t much left for desire.

She passed Will’s overnight bag to father after passing Will to Liam.  _They can’t cause too big a disaster between them…can they?_   She trusted Bill to be responsible whether or not she trusted him to be wise.

“I’ve included a set of instructions in the front pocket of Will’s bag.  It should have all the information you need on it: Will’s bed time, what he likes to eat, what helps him get to sleep, what to do if he wakes up in the middle of the night.  It’s all there.  If you can’t soothe him, call me.  He likes hearing my voice.”

“I think me and Liam can handle it.”

 _I trust Liam.  That’ll have to do._ “Okay.  I’ll get going.” Katie stopped to kiss Will goodbye.  “Be good for Daddy. I’ll be back before you know it.”  Will waved bye-bye and Katie waved back once she’d reached the door.

“You headed somewhere special?”

“Out.  You can reach me on my cell at any time, no matter what the hour.”  Katie blew her baby another kiss.  “Bye, sweetie.”

“Is it true?  Are you really locking libidos with the dressmaker?”

Katie released a long sigh of exasperation and turned to face her ex again.  “You’ve asked me that already.”

“I’m asking again.”

“For the record, ‘dressmaker’ isn’t an insult, it’s a job description.  Is that the best you can do?  Brooke’s really done a number on you.  You used to be crafty and insightful.  Funny, if nothing else.”

“Will’s not ready to hear what I think of Ridge Forrester.”

“I hope you grow up before he gets old enough to understand what you’re saying.”  She turned to her former stepson.  “Remember what I said about the list.”

“Got it,” Liam confirmed.

“Great.  Then, I’ll wish you gentlemen goodnight.  Don’t have too much fun.”

“Same to you,” Bill remarked.

“I intend to have all the fun I can squeeze in.”  Katie shot Bill a smirk and took her leave.

She was still laughing at the appalled look on Bill’s face as she drove away from Liam’s beach house.  She shook her head to herself.  _Bill is a multimillionaire living with his adult son._   She could say for certain she no longer understood the man she’d married.

…

Katie found her way to Ridge’s beachfront walkup easily.  _He’s not far from Liam, is he?_

She trudged around the side to find Ridge standing on the terrace overlooking stretches of sand as high tide rolled in.  He’d shed his coat and tie for jeans and a close-fit Henley that made Katie stand back a moment to realize appreciate the view.  The beach had nothing on him.  When she’d looked her fill, Katie climbed the scrubbed wood stairs to reach him.

“Have you been waiting long?”

He glanced away from the indigo waters.  “Nah, just taking in the view.  The water’s stunning.”

“It’s like having your thinking place right at home.”

“I think even better when you’re around.”  He lifted his arm to invite her under.  She slipped into his space easily and looped her arms around him to snuggle close.  He exhaled and rubbed his cheek in her hair.

She took this chance to sate her curiosity.

“What brought on the sudden move?  I’m sure Eric wouldn’t have minded you sticking around.”

“Dad and I had some words after the gala.  Things got a little heated and I decided to strike out on my own.”

“He disapproves of us being together.”  Katie hadn’t ever been the popular Logan, yet this was totally new ground.

“He considers our relationship a distraction from business.  Forrester took a hit when the heist stunt leaked to the press.  More bad publicity could sink us.”

“That’s not going to happen.   We were outed by the press before we became a couple.  June was it.  The only stories left are engagements, breakups, cheating, or unexpected pregnancy, none of which are in the cards for us.”

“Way to take the wind out of a guy’s sails.”  Despite his obvious attempt at levity, Katie didn’t feel like laughing.

“It’s too soon for everything.  This is the honeymoon phase, where you think I’m terrific instead of neurotic and more affectionate than cloying.  I still think you’re mysterious and charming, not secretive and manipulative.  Those feelings fade and what’s left is our relationship.”

Katie replayed what she’d just said in her head as his brows beetled together in consternation.

“I might have been too honest too soon.”

His expression cleared.  “No, honest is good.  I don’t want us to have a relationship where we lie to keep the peace.  Tell me the truth.  If I’m not man enough to hear it, I shouldn’t be with someone as honest as you.”

“The same goes for you. I like you honest.”

“I’m not always honest. I mean to be; it’s just difficult sometimes when it can change things.”

“Be honest with me. If your feelings change—“

“It’s not about my feelings. They’re going strong. Other stuff…can’t do that yet.”

Katie worried about the secrets Ridge left on the cutting-room floor of their conversations.

“Is it everything with Rick?”

“That’s an issue for another evening.  I want to spend tonight with you.”

“Unpacking?”

“Yeah.  I’m building a life, and since you have my old house, I have to start someplace.  Why not here?”

Katie gave Ridge’s place a gander.  It was by no means a fixer-upper.  Based on the location alone, she could infer that he’d paid a pretty penny for this piece of prime real estate.  It was well-maintained, neat, modern and comfortable; all signs indicated a positive investment.  _But he should be with me._  

“I like it.”

“Took you a minute to decide.”

“Took me a minute to look at it.”

“You don’t like it.”

“I…don’t really have a dog in this race.  I don’t live here.”

“You’ll visit, though, right? It’s kind of silly of me buying a place when I can’t even get the woman I love to visit.”

“I’ll visit when you invite me.”

“You don’t need an invitation.”

“You know you don’t need one with me.”

“With everything going on everywhere, I shouldn’t be showing up announced.  The paparazzi love that stuff.”

“You don’t care about the paparazzi.  You grew up with them.  You care because of me; you don’t need to.  And if it’s the Forrester trouble, you’re worried about, I wouldn’t lose much sleep over it, since you may recall that I pretty much run the media.”

“You do, don’t you?  You’re damned powerful.  D’you have any idea how sexy that is?”

“Refresh my memory. I think you were about to show me earlier.”

“Yes, I was.”

He walked her inside to give her a guided tour of the beach house.  Katie wasn’t sad to say they didn’t get farther than the bedroom.

**…**

Ridge drew his finger along her hip. She couldn’t tell if it was a love note or a dress this time.

“I happened to catch a couple of clips from an interview a certain publishing powerhouse gave to Forbes just today.”

“Anybody I know?”

“Beautiful. Gutsy.  You might have heard of her.”

Katie feigned ignorance, opting to stretch her gloriously exerted muscles. “Maybe.”

He huffed, his eyes glimmering in amuse.  He traced the sinew of her thigh.  “It was heady stuff.  There wasn’t an ounce of fear to be found.  She was forthright, knowledgeable; she was personable.  Not even Bill Spencer could help falling in love with a woman like that.”

 _He’s complimenting Bill just to compliment me.  Caroline’s right. My man’s got it bad._   Katie grinned up him.

“It’s funny you should mention interviews since someone emailed me a very entertaining read from _Vogue Paris_.  Something called ‘Splendour in Silk.’”  Katie wrinkled her nose.  “It sounds better in French.”  _Most things do._   “It’s something to do with a world-class designer in love.”

“Designers fall in love every day, that’s when we thrive.”

“You made me a white dress.”

“I made my client a white dress that flattered you.”

“It was organza.”

“It was ivory chiffon, the research assistant got that wrong.  The red dress was after that.”  He trailed butterfly kisses up the inside of her wrist.  “That was a dress made in love.  It was supposed to put into words the things I didn’t know how yet.  Every stitch was a stanza in itself.”

“You’d already poured your heart out to me.”

“I shared my pain and that was part of it.  Sharing your future is a different challenge.”

Katie rubbed her foot along his shin.  He trailed his finger up her bare ribcage.

She squirmed.  “Why are you so determined to tickle me?”

“I enjoy seeing you laugh.”

“I can’t seem to find anything funny lately. My life’s become one long, endless board meeting bout dividends and profit margins.”

“Has the Board been giving you trouble?”

“Karen dropped in.  The Board isn’t thrilled, but they agree that we’ve comported ourselves with an appropriate amount of discretion so far.  Not to mention that our relationship hasn’t impacted Spencer’s bottom line.  We’re reporting record profits thanks to the revenue brought in by the poetry contest.  They wish us the best.”

“But?”

“I have a PR problem.”

“Sounds serious.  Is this PR problem handsome and talented?”

“Devastatingly so, and expensive to boot.”

“I’m sorry, I never wanted to cause a problem for you.”

“I’m no innocent victim here, I knew what I signed on for.  I may have a spy out for my job, but I won’t let them win if I can help it.  Liam and I are convening a war room.  If I go down, it’ll be fighting.  I’m just trying to figure out where my limits are.  When do I give in?  How much of my soul am I willing to sell to keep the corner office?”

“If you want to succeed in the corporate world, you’ve gotta play the game.  Business is a full-contact sport.”

“It’s possible I’m not meant to succeed.  These die are loaded.  This company is full of Spencer loyalists.”

“If you’re so sure you’re not cut out for this, quit. Let the ship sink under Bill and get out.”

“What was it all about if I quit?  I’ll have gotten out of this marriage with 1% of stock I can’t use and a house that’s too big.  What did I really gain?”

“You got to be free and that’s gotta be something.”

“It freed me to find you.”

“I was always there to be found, you had to find yourself and that ineluctable grit you have that I love.”

“Speaking of grit, I have a plan to deal with my PR problem and it requires the assistance of a certain gorgeous designer.”

“Who, Caroline?”

She slapped his arm.  “No, you!  I want to show the world that being in love has strengthened my devotion to what matters to me in life.”

“So what, you want me to design a business suit that says ‘drop dead gorgeous but approachable, serious yet playful’?”

“I want you to be present when I debut the new literary magazine.  I won’t hide you behind the potted plants to keep the rival press from asking questions I don’t feel like answering.  I want to say that I’m in love with you and that’s okay.”

“There are people who won’t think it’s okay.  I was married to your sister more than once, she had an affair with your husband.  The headlines write themselves, how ready are you to wake up to that?”

“We’ve been in the news forever, as you well know.  The readership of _Vogue Italia_ knew you loved me months before we kissed.”

“They knew before I admitted it to myself.  This magnificent woman who’d always been in my life was suddenly the only woman I could see and I didn’t know why; years and years spent in the grasp of love and I couldn’t figure it out.”

“How did you know?  I don’t know how _I_ figured us out.”

“It was a gradual process.  Knowing you as yourself outside of your connection to Brooke was the first step.  To know you is to love you and I think I began to know you when I walked into your office at Spencer that day.  You were in your element there, self-possessed, resilient, brazen as hell; the perfect package.  I was drawn like a magnet.  We had chemistry.”

“We had _fireworks_ ,” she rebutted.

“Prophetic under the circumstances.”  The fourth of July wasn’t long behind them and somebody was setting off leftover bottle rockets over the water.

“I didn’t know what I felt when you held me. I was relieved to be believed by someone who mattered and to have my recollections trusted after they’d been repeatedly questioned.  It was coming home when I hadn’t realized I’d gone anywhere.”  …  “I want to share that.  People have questions, we have answers.  Let’s put the industry’s concerns to bed.”

“The press doesn’t scare me, they can’t hurt me at this point.  I’m happy to do whatever it is you want to do it if it helps you get back to work.  Name the time and place, and I’m there.”

“You’re kind of amazing.”

“I’m kind out of my mind in love with you.  Comes with the territory.”

“When I was looking up directions to your condo, I had a crazy idea that doesn’t seem so crazy anymore.”

“You, crazy?  You’re the soul of pragmatism.”

“Not where you’re concerned.  When I’m with you, I dwell in the spontaneous.”

“Don’t keep me in suspense.”

Katie stood on her tiptoes to put her arms around his neck.

“I think we should go sailing.”

“What made you think of sailing?”

“The wide open air, the water, the setting; what wouldn’t make me think of sailing?”

“Have you caught a case of wanderlust?”

“The lust half is right.” Her appreciative leer was well-received.  “There’s a boat in Cabrillo Marina that has your name on the slip.”

“How might you have come by this information?”

“I might have put it there in a fit of uninhibited affection for you.”

“I like the sound of that.  You and me and the open sea.  Let’s run away together.”

Katie held on tight.  “Don’t get too excited, it’s a hired yacht.  She’s all ours until noon tomorrow.”

“Just until noon?”

“Just until noon, and then we have go back to being responsible adults.”

“Ugh, responsibility.”  He kissed her chin.  “So much to do when I just want to spend the night with you in my arms.”  He kissed her nose, grinned at her breathless laugh.  “Hmm, we’d better not waste another minute.”

Katie stretched welcomingly, only to yelp when he poked her in the ribs.

“What are we waiting for, let’s get to sea.”

“Are you looking forward to the view that much?”

He canted his head to kiss her collarbone.  “Nah, this one’s better, but nobody said I couldn’t have both.”

If it took them an hour longer to get there, who would know?

…

Not an hour later, Katie stepped onto the uppermost deck of the yacht to find Ridge watching the horizon.

“You look happy.”

He turned his back on the waves to welcome her over.

“I’m sailing on the open water with the woman I love.  What’s not to be happy about?”

“I could probably think of something.”

“Not here. This is nature.  Let is make you happy. Let me do that.”

“What if I want to be the one to make _you_ happy?”

“You already are.  Keep doing what you’re doing.”

“I’ll do you one better.  Meet me below deck.”

“I’ll bring champagne.”

“I’ll bring me.”

 

…

Katie returned to the main cabin in her short terrycloth robe to find Ridge pouring champagne for both of them.  _Pity we won’t get to drink it._

“You always take care of me.  You’ve been piecing my heart and my trust back together since you came home.  Let me take some of the load off your shoulders.”

“How do you propose to do that?”

“Get undressed and I’ll show you.”

Ridge unfastened the buttons of his Henley and pulled it over his head.  She didn’t care where it landed when he tossed it away from them.

“I’m feeling better already.”

Katie fingered the open neckline of her robe.

“That makes my job easier, but I guess that means I can’t justify taking this off.”  She tightened the tie.  “Oh, well.”

Pulling her against him, he growled against the side of her neck, “Off. _Now._ ”

“Is this robe bothering you? Do you plan to do something about it?”

He stroked the underside of her chin _._ _"Je vais vous faire hurler pour moi."_

Katie did love a man who was good with his tongue.

“Thoughts?”

“Translation?”

"I'm going to make you scream for me."  He lifted her onto the bar.  _"Je vais vous faire hurler pour moi._  Think you can remember that?”

“I might need a reminder.”

“I got your reminder.”

Ridge pulled the toe on her robe and slipped down to his knees.

Katie really did love a man who was good with his tongue.

 

 

…

Sated and frankly exhausted, Katie splayed herself across Ridge’s body just for something to hold onto.  The ocean was still but Katie felt sure her sea legs had deserted her entirely.  Ridge planting kisses across the plane of shoulders wasn’t helping for all that they felt heavenly on her heated skin.    The ocean air was a beautiful thing. It felt almost as good blowing over her as he did breathing under her.

Based on his wandering hands, Ridge didn’t seem to mind.

“Am I the luckiest man in the world or am I?”

“Am I the luckiest woman?”

“Jury’s out on that.”

He kissed her temple and tangled their legs together as they lay on the half-concealed forward deck.  They were dressed enough for the weather, if less than enough for decency, but Katie’s mind wasn’t on anything decent at this hour.  The stars were peeking out from behind wispy clouds. The moon was making an appearance as the night fell, and Katie had Ridge. The problems of Los Angeles seemed very far away this far out into the ocean.

“Have you ever been to Loire?”

“Not yet.”

“We’ll go next year.  The food’s incredible, it’s been known to bring people to tears.”

“I would go anywhere with you.”

“You make me want to go around the world in seventy-nine days.  If I loved you more, I’d be in a world of trouble.”

“Trouble is my middle name, according to you.”

“And I’m never wrong.”

“No comment.”

“Wise answer.”

Ridge was nuzzling his bristly cheek up and down her arm while she watched the sunset, content.

“I’ve been in touch with Massimo.”

Katie lifted her head to gauge Ridge’s reaction.

“Massimo Marone?”

He nodded, closing his eyes.  “That’s the one.  We talked while I was at International.  He’s been thinking about putting together a boutique fashion house and he wants me to head it up.  I’ve given Forrester Creations my best years, but I’m thinking about dispersing my shares to the kids and striking out.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“It would hurt my dad, which isn’t what I’m trying to do. I just want to design beautiful clothes.  That should be easy, that’s what Forrester used to be about.  We’ve become a lifestyle brand instead of a designer brand and that isn’t momentum we can maintain over time.  We’re about to drop the ball, I can feel it.  What’s going to be left once that happens?”

“I don’t know.”

“It scares me that I don’t either. I know this industry like the back of my hand and I don’t know what Forrester’s future looks like or even if we have one.”  He swept a hand down her side.  “I feel like I’m juggling a million different things…loyalties.  Something’s gotta give.”

“I know what that’s like.”

“I bet you do, better than me even.”  Ridge coaxed her to rest against his shoulder.  “There are things I have to tell you.  They’re not easy. Massimo’s involved.  He’s one of the only people to know.  I’ll tell you. I just need time to get it straight in my head.”

Katie tried not to tense.  His hands had always been soothing before; they worried her now.

“Will it hurt me?”

“I don’t see how it won’t.”

“Is there somebody else?”

“Not for me, not anymore.”

“But back then. There was someone with you in Paris.  Are you worried they’ll come back? Are there feelings…”

“Nah, this is…it’s not anybody but me, and life, I guess.”  Ridge twined their fingers together.  “I want you understand something about me.  I’m not gonna say the words all the time.  There are days when they just don’t come. That’s not ‘cause I don’t love you.  Some days it’s all I can do to show you.  That’s me and nothing to do with you.”

“Everybody has bad days.”

“Yeah, some are really tough. That doesn’t change what I feel about you, remember that.”

Katie was willing to try, but she was beginning to worry that the writing was on the wall for she and Ridge and it didn’t say forever.

**…**

Ridge walked Katie to her car early the next morning.

“Before you go, I have something for you.”

“I like presents.”

“Figures. Give me your hand.”

Katie set hers out, palm up.

“It’s not a ring yet but here.”

He placed a warm metal object in her hand.

“A key.”

“Yeah.  When you want to visit me or if you need somewhere quiet to go where you can’t be found, my door is open to you.  That’s why the key.”

“Check your key ring.”

Ridge regarded her warily but did as he was ordered, checking his pocket for his keys and finally dangling the whole thing by the brand new silver member of the club.

“Sneaky.”

“Sneaky minds think alike.”

“Damn, you’re perfect for me.”

“I’ll forgive your lateness because you’re right, I am.”

She didn’t end up leaving before the clock struck twelve.


	15. July, Part VI

An odd thing happened when Katie arrived to pick Will up from Liam’s that afternoon.

Katie hung up from her status call with Adele and got out of the car.  She ambled up to Liam’s front door at a leisurely pace.  Her life was one rush after another.  She made it a point of appreciating the rare chance she had to go slow.

Katie had just come up the front steps when she heard a commotion from above.

 _…Is that neighing?_   _Bill!_   Katie was torn.  _Run away or run upstairs?_   Did she really want to know if it was Brooke making him sound like that?

She thought of Ridge and the night they’d just shared and decided that no she didn’t.  What she did want was her baby and a glass of red.

Another object shattered whilst Bill and _someone’s_ moans grew in intensity.

The odds that he’d hear her knocking was miniscule at best.

“What the hell is happening?”

“Katie?  Oh, thank god.”  It was Liam who’d come jogging up from the nearby stretch of beach, Will on his hip.  “I heard it, too.  That’s…I went upstairs. I thought he was dying.”

There was a mighty crash as something in the house broke.  The braying echoed onto the porch.

“Are you sure he isn’t?”

“Not that kind of death. I checked.”  Liam whimpered and rubbed his eyes.  “I shouldn’t have checked.  I thought he was sick.  Who makes that sound when they’re okay?  Answer me that!”

Katie was at a loss.  Bill’s virility had been a turn-on when she’d loved him.  From the outside looking in, she was beginning to see how it could be alarming.  She feared for Will’s psyche if he’d been present for this.  Her son favored her with an enormous grin.  She relieved her former stepson of his least troublesome brother.

“Let me buy you coffee.  I’ll drop you off at Spencer afterward.”

_So much for Liam’s birthday._

“I’m gonna need something stronger than Café Americano to get those images out my head.”

Katie patted him on the back. “I’ll make sure the childcare center is open.  This might take a while.”

…

Katie stopped in front of the newsstand.  “Take Will. I want to get one of these.”

Liam stared at the news rack.  “Am I seeing things or is that…”

“Yeah.”  Katie paid the cashier and took the tabloid off the rack.  _That’s me and Ridge._

On the cover of the magazine was a grainy image of two people entwined on the forward deck of a 100-foot yacht.  She didn’t recognize herself, but the scar on Ridge’s right hip she’d recognize anywhere.

“How did they get this?”

“I don’t know.  What the hell is going on?”

Katie led her son and stepson into the Spencer lobby.  “I’m being sabotaged, but I’ll be damned if whoever it is gets away with it.”                                                                                                                                                             

“This is so not how I wanted to spend my birthday,” Liam groaned.

…

After seeing Will to the company daycare, Liam and Katie retired to the second-best conference room they’d reserved for their counterstrike.

Liam poked at the _Enquirer_ Katie had bought.  “Do you me to…add this to the wall?”

“I doubt either of us will forget it.  Let’s keep it off the bulletin board.”

“I’m really okay with that.”

Katie brooded over her view of the skyline.  In a town chockfull of superficiality, it was the most meaningful parts of her life that someone found fault with.  _Typical._

“Does Ridge know about this?”

“Ridge knows some of it, I haven’t bored him with the details.”

“I don’t think he’d get bored, he’d want to know.  _I’d_ want to know if my relationship was under fire, whether I could do anything or not.  Let him be there for you.”

Once Liam had left Katie to deal with the higher level aspects of managing the company, Katie gave into her need to hear a friendly voice and called Dani in New York.  _Why did I agree to let her transfer?  She’d be a godsend to me right now._

“Yours is a voice for sour ears.”

Dani chuckled.  “Am I being summoned?”

“I wish! But no, I can’t ask you to come all the way down here.”

“My daughter’s down there.  You’d have to chain me to the nearest light pole to stop me from hopping the first direct flight.”

“Karen could stop you.”

“Right in my tracks,” she regressed, sounding dreamy.  Katie let herself feel a moment’s envy.  “You think it would wear off, but it never does.”

“I pray it never does.  The two of you are good together.”

“We passed good when Caroline learned to color inside the lines.  Now, tell me what’s got madame CEO on tenterhooks.”

“I’m drowning. I’m going under and taking this company with me. How do I stop?”

“Find the extra weight, throw it off.  Whatever the problem is, solve it.  You’re crafty.  That’s what Karen and I like about you.  You bounce back, you get mad, you get even, and you get over things.  That’s being alive, you’re good at it.”

“Has Karen mentioned the media melee in L.A.?”

“It’s crossed the kitchen table once or twice.”

“What do I do about this? I don’t know where to start fixing this problem or plugging the leak.  It’s getting worse.  Each day, I’m afraid to open my emails for fear of what new way the press will have found to cast doubt on my competence, and on my personal life.”

“Accept that you are never going to be a popular choice for CEO for a multitude of reasons.  The media has a historically rocky relationship with working mothers and you’re the present poster child, therefore you’re taking the brunt of their hostility.”

“You’re saying their mommies didn’t love them enough.”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

Katie laughed.  “I’ve missed you and Karen.”

“We’ve missed you.  Nobody pours a glass of wine with the quite the aplomb that you do.”

“How multifarious my talents.  I’m without equal.”  Katie slid down in her chair, sobering.  “I’m doing badly.”

“The numbers say otherwise.”

“Those aren’t the numbers anybody’s seeing.”

“So show them, and show them as many times as it takes for them to believe the truth.  You said that was the plan, didn’t you?  You have very little reason to doubt yourself right now; don’t let anybody change your mind, least of all a masked vigilante.  You’re better than that.”

Dani lapsed into silence.  “You’ve been giving interviews to everyone except for Spencer Pub.  You should make use of Spencer’s most abundant resource: soapboxes.  It just so happens that I’m free to do the job.”

“Have I mentioned how wonderful you are today?”

“No, but that’s okay, because I already knew.  Now, before we put our heads together to plan our next offensive, I have a name for you.”

“What name?”

“Editor-in-chief of _the L.A. Times._ ”

Katie drew a blank.  “Should I be talking to him?”

“I’d say gentle interrogation is the name of the game.  Sources close to Norman Westheimer, editor-in-chief of the _Los Angeles Times_ say that he knows just where Spencer Publications has sprung a leak.  Now may be the time to ask.”

“Someone is actually going to these publications personally to distribute their findings?”

“That’s how it sounds to me.”

“That’s not a conspiracy. That doesn’t strike me as the schematic of high-level corporate espionage.”

“Vendettas occur at every echelon.  What we need to figure out is who has one with you.”

“Anybody who disapproved of my taking over daily operations from Bill might, or who disapproved of how I reorg’d SP.”

“I still have my contacts about town.  I’ll turn over a few rocks to see what—or who—comes scurrying out.  Deal with Westheimer, I’ll copy Liam on my findings.”

“Thank you, and thank Karen for me.  I’d be lost without both of you.”

“You’re no less our family than you were a year ago, and family takes care of each other.  I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye.”

Katie took in this information.  _Okay, now we have a plan._

She tapped the intercom. “Adele, please have Liam met me in conference room #2 in five minutes.”

“Will do.”

…

“What is the deal with the _L.A. Times?_ ”  Katie flipped through the pile of clippings Adele had put together of local press coverage for the company, organized by date. Each new round of caterwauling began with the _L.A. Times_ before spinning out into a further-reaching publications throughout the nation.  _How did I miss that?_

“I don’t follow.”

She showed Liam what she’d seen.

He gave his beard a scratch.  “I don’t know how I didn’t see that.  I can get the editor-in-chief in here in an hour.”

Katie dropped her pile of damning evidence. She was feeling daring and not a little vengeful.

“I’ll do you one better.  Let’s make a house call.”

Liam’s jaw dropped.  “You wanna show up in their offices at this time of day.”

“It’s a Friday.  Trash day.  Who’s in and who’s paying attention?”

On a Friday afternoon, nobody with a social life to speak of or a workload to avoid was in the office, Katie would bet good money on it.

“If you have any objections, Liam, speak now or don’t speak at all.”

“I’m with it.  Point of order, this is a very aggressive move that could backfire.”

“I’m counting on you to make sure it doesn’t.”

“Good cop, bad cop.”

“How good are you at faking sympathy?”

“I can be very good at it.”

“I’ll call the driver.”

“I’ll get my notes.”  Liam dropped back at the door.  “You know this is insane, right?”

“All the sane options are off the table.  Norman Westheimer is going to have to think twice about who he cites as a credible source of information.”

…

Katie commandeered Editor-in-Chief Westheimer’s desk chair because it was more accomodating than the ten-dollar folding chairs he’d allotted for visitors.  Liam had opted to stand near the door and be imposing.

Norman Westheimer was fifty-six and aging well, yet wore every news-catching year in lines that said he’d stayed up nights instead of dreamed.  Katie sympathized.

“You of all people should understand the importance of protecting a source, Ms. Spencer.”

“I understand it just fine, and if your ‘source’ weren’t dead set on invading my private life as well as my professional domain, I’d be happy to let you maintain your journalistic integrity.  Your source went too far. Unless you’d like to pay the toll on their behalf, I suggest you name names.”

His elegantly craggy visage yielded an inch when he realized that Katie and Liam had all day and that Il Giardino delivered _everywhere._ “There was an intermediary.  We never met face to face.”

 

Katie leant back and listened as the whole sordid tale poured out.  By the end, Katie had a list of aliases and meeting places and even byline bait for future stories the intermediary had planned to leak.  _Thank you, Dani._   Katie would have to shop very carefully for her favorite sister-in-law this Christmas.

 

She and Liam departed with all the information they needed to put the final pieces together.  Katie was already sick of fighting this battle.

…

 

Adele appeared after a knock bearing a loaded folder for Liam and Starbucks for both of them.  Katie fairly guzzled her two sugars and a dash of non-fat dairy creamer treated coffee.  Liam sipped his distracted as he was with the contents of Adele’s delivery.  Though curious, Katie left Liam to it, certain that he’d let her know when her attention was required.

“I went to school with the wife of the junior editor at WSJ.  I bet I get could get him in here on her order.”

“Pink power does not get enough credit.” Liam took one of the red photo pencils from Editorial and to mark something his folder.

“It really doesn’t.”  Katie pondered her current dilemma.  “How do our numbers look in Rome?  What’s Europe saying?”

Liam sat in the farthest at the unoccupied table to continue whatever it was that was occupying his attention.

“Liam? Europe?”

“Huh?”  He shook his head.  “Europe, yeah, Europe doesn’t care as much as you’d expect.  New York is fine and Europe has their own divisions to worry about.  They think the American market is moody at best, hyperbolic at worst.  They’re not looking at us right now.  All we have to worry about is keeping the Board of Directors from setting up a mutiny.”

“They love a mutiny.”

“Tell me about it.”  Liam pursed his lips and tapped his fingers on top of his closed manila folder.  “I have a feeling I know who’s responsible for this.  Fair warning, you’re not going to like it.”

Katie turned to face him.  “Something tells me I won’t be surprised.”

“That’s where I think you’re wrong.”  Liam rose and handed her the stack of documents he’d been poring over so studiously.  They were glossy photographs, some clearly paparazzi grade whilst other were screen captures from security footage.

A wave of dizziness momentarily upset Katie’s world.  Whether it was her blood pressure shooting up or plummeting downward, she couldn’t say.

Aly Forrester, sporting the shy smile she was best known for, was splashed across each and every frame.

“Aly?  You can’t be serious.  I know she was angry with Ridge over Oliver, but why would she go through Spencer to get to Ridge?”

Liam rubbed his face.  “You might wanna sit down, explaining this is going to get complicated.”

Katie sat.

Liam laced his hands together to hang between his knees.

“I’ve been making friends with Aly over the last few months.  She’s a sweet girl, and she’s easy to talk to; it doesn’t hurt that she probably loves Hope about as much as I do.”

His world-weariness was telegraphed in his pinched lips.  She debated halting his confession, only lies had yet to serve her well.

“And?”

“And I might have said some less than glowing things about Spencer’s financial prospects.”

“Liam.”  He had been one of her champions these past few months, close as Karen hadn’t been able to be and, she thought, rooting for her success.  _But he is Bill’s son first.  How could I forget that?_

“I know, it was stupid.”

“Disappointing _and_ stupid.  If you have a problem with my performance as CEO, tell _me_.  The moment your criticism bypasses this office to the general public, my ass is in a sling and this is where we end up.”

Liam scraped a hand through his hair.  “It was…I messed up bad. I’ll fix it.  I promise I’ll fix it.”

“We’ll fix it.  It’s not just your problem, it’s become the problem of every man and woman employed by this company.”

Liam jumped up, stalking the length of the conference room like a marionette of emotion.

“That doesn’t solve the mystery of _why_.  Why would Aly sell this news to the highest bidder?  _How_ did she get the information?”

Katie looked at her former stepson speculatively.

“No! I’m not that careless. I don’t leave expense reports and quarterlies laying around for just anybody to find.  That’s not me.”

“This kind of disregard for company policy isn’t supposed to be you either.”

“Come on, Katie! Like you don’t talk to Ridge about Spencer insider stuff all the time.  How do we know it wasn’t his loose lips that did this?”

“Who would he tell? Who listens to him at Forrester?  Aly sure doesn’t.”

“Quinn Fuller does.”

“Quinn wouldn’t risk her day job.”

“To get in good with my dad, she might.  God knows she’s got it out for me.  This kills two birds with one stone.  You may not think she’s that conniving, but I promise you she is.”

Katie massaged her the gnarled tendons of neck, outdone at this latest development.

“There’s one problem with your theory: Aly despises Quinn at least as much, if not more than Quinn hates you.  She wouldn’t take her lead if it was a matter of life and death.”

“Quinn and sanity have never crossed paths, I can’t say I blame her.”

Katie turned over their speculation in her mind.  _Could Aly have done this with the intention of_ spiting _Quinn, not realizing that she was doing exactly what the other woman wanted?_    Aly was intelligent by all accounts with a wealth of book sense; but maybe, just maybe her street sense left something to be desired.  _People like Quinn Fuller don’t wake up one day with a taste for manipulation, that sort of skill is cultivated.  Aly would be defenseless against level of cunning._

Nevertheless, something made Katie doubtful.

“I’m not convinced just yet.  We obviously can’t rule Quinn out as the mastermind of Aly’s part in this, but this doesn’t feel like arm’s-length scheming.”

“Meaning what? You think this is somebody else.  Who?”

“This feels personal, like somebody with a grudge striking out at me directly.”

“Spencer was the opening act.”

“With those pictures from the _Birnam Wood_ , they’ve shown that they don’t plan to stop with my job.”

“Who’s got an axe to grind and access to a very sympathetic Aly Forrester?”

“The first person I should have suspected.”  Katie felt sick.

“The last person you should have had to suspect.”  Liam knew a fair bit about fraternal treachery.

“It’s like I told Justin, I have a loyalty problem.”

Katie finished her coffee despite it tasting like slurry in her mouth.  She’d need all of her focus to see this through.  Liam frowned at his.  _It must have gotten cold._   He finished it anyway, grimacing to the last drop.

“Should we confront her about this?”  That he wouldn’t say her name was for Katie’s sake.  _I can’t continue living in denial like this._

“Have Legal draw up a Cease & Desist.  It’s in Brooke’s best interest that I don’t look into this any further.  If she refuses to see things my way, she can enjoy spending the next eight months in civil court while I divest her of every dime she’s cost this company in bad press.”

Liam rubbed pensively at her beard.

“I don’t want to say what I’m about to say. I don’t because I’m biting off my nose to spite my face and I wish I didn’t need to. Just know that I’m speaking as your Vice President right now and not as anybody’s son.”

“Liam…”  He silenced her with an anguished look.

“Dad’s seen our internals. Dad has access to everything as one of the major shareholders.  He hasn’t said a word to the press and this has been going on for weeks.”

The obvious implication was, well, obvious.

 “Dad would hand Brooke a company credit card in a heartbeat, a network passcode is less than nothing.”

“Your father told me he wasn’t involved.”

 “My dad lies, Katie, you know he does.  He does it without thinking, it’s how he stalls before he regroups.  Maybe he didn’t know _what_ Brooke was planning, but he didn’t stop it either and he could have.  Whatever she was into, he may not have been the brains behind the operation, but he you can bet he was the money.  He was her silent partner.”

Katie set her jaw, determined not to swear as loudly as she was dying to do.

 _He swore to me, and I believed him._ Hadn’t she made that mistake a handful of times?  _Shame’s on me._

“I have paperwork to handle and a teleconference to wing.  I will deal with the fallout from this tomorrow.”  Katie would have her hands full getting through the remainder of the day.  _The Board will have more questions and none of my answers will suffice._

“What do you want me to do?”

“Tell Aly to be more discerning in her choice of role models.”  Katie swallowed any more scathing advice she might have imparted.  “Shut this down, Liam, _quietly,_ or I will.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Liam rose when she did to see her out.

Katie called it a day on July; the last month had been a wash, but she had hope that August might be better.  It seemed impossible for the next month to be any worse.


	16. August, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August is a month of trials.

**August**

“Are you sure a commercial with the two of us is the best way to publicize the contest? We wouldn’t want to turn anybody off.”  With Katie’s approval numbers trending down, she worried that too much associating with company ventures would be a death sentence for their profit margin.

“I can’t see how you could turn anyone off.”  Ridge rubbed her arm.  “I may be biased, but you’re much better at the opposite.”

“Down, tiger.  We’re pretending to be serious businesspeople.”

“Acting not’s really my strong suit, but I’ll try anything once.”

She slid her hand under his jacket to caress his silk-covered chest.  “My kind of guy.”

He wrapped a suave arm around her shoulder.  “Watch it, Trouble. There are cameras this time.”

She snorted.  “There are cameras everywhere.  If I let a few cameras keep me from touching you, I’d be… very frustrated.”

“I’m already there.”

Katie was cooking up a number of discreet ways to test Ridge’s frustration when a subtle clearing of throats interrupted their rap session.

The director was whistling to the rafters as if he and three dozen others weren’t present to watch them flirt.  Katie wondered if he’d been the one in the park with them that day, like a headmistresses at a girl’s school Katie had read about but not attended.

_Back to work, I guess._ She didn’t get to flirt with Ridge nearly enough for her liking.

“Do we have a script?”

“Editorial has come up with something.”

The producers gave them a once-over, at which they both shared a quizzical glance. Once they’d conferred for another moment with more cast and crew, the director stepped forward. “I’d like to give something else a try.  Let’s improvise first.”

Katie blanched.  Ridge scowled.

“I haven’t done improv since high school,” she murmured to him.

“You did theater? I took Home Ec.”

She looked him up and down, thoughtfully.

“I don’t think they still taught that when I was in high school.”

Ridge grumbled, “You trying to make me feel ancient?”

She rubbed his chin where the odd grey whisker showed through. “You can’t blame that on me, honey.”  Ridge groused and caught her hand at its mischief.  She wasn’t deterred.

The director clapped.  “That’s what we want! Give us the chemistry.  Sell us the love story.”

Ridge’s expression was skeptical.  “This is an advertisement for a poetry contest.  We’re not selling _us._ ”

“In a way, we sort of _are._   This is our contest, our _baby_ in a sense and it wouldn’t exist if we hadn’t fallen in love over a shared passion for poetry.  We’re asking them to tell us what makes them love life, shouldn’t we be willing to share what makes us love life, too?”

“Let me just, can we talk a second?”  Ridge pulled her aside, shooting the director a sidelong glance.  “It’s just you and me here, are you okay with this?”

“Are you?”

“Don’t deflect.  My job is secure, yours is the one I’m worried about.”

“As of now, it is.  The situation,” as Liam had termed it, “has been dealt with.”

“No more pictures of my ass on the back page of _OK!_ Magazine?”

“No,” Katie acquiesced, smiling at his relief.  “I’m sure their female readership is in mourning.”

“My ass will be usurped by a younger one in no time. They’ll adjust.”  He massaged her shoulders.  “So we’re okay with this?”

“We’re okay.”

Ridge signaled the director where he was consulting with the first grip and the cameraman.

“It’s time for our close-up.  God help me if it’s in HD.”

…

Katie watched from the wings and waited for her cue.

Ridge flipped through her old copy of Shelley.

“ _Ama la vita_. Means ‘love life.’  It could mean anything.”

Katie stepped to his side to pluck the dog-eared tome from his hands.  “It can mean _everything._ ”

“Love does.”

She had to suppress a laugh, more loving than mocking though it was.  Every trite sentiment was believable coming from him.  She flipped the pages, comforted by the sound and the wafting smell of printer ink.

“I found my best friend over a book of poetry. I found laughter and confidence and safety in words that someone else wrote long ago and that spoke to him as they spoke to me.”

Katie recited a portion of their poem from memory:

 

_“Nothing in the world is single;_

_All things by a law divine_

_In one spirit meet and mingle._

_Why not I with thine?—“_

 

 Ridge’s seductive baritone picked up her train of thought effortlessly and spoke into the camera.

“Loving life is not about loving to breathe or loving the sun or the earth, or not just those things. It’s about the experience. The people, the heartache, the joy, the stinging indifference.  Love of life isn’t about the doing, it’s the feeling.  What makes your heart soar?  _Who_?  In 1000 words or less, tell us. What do you love? Who do you love?”

Katie chimed in, teasing, “Who do you love, Ridge?”

He set those fathomless eyes on her and Katie momentarily forgot how to breathe from the intensity of them.

“The only woman I see.”

He dipped her just when she thought he would kiss her and she laughed, overcome and overawed for love of him.

There were two more takes featuring slightly altered dialogue and no kiss, but for her part Katie thought the first one was picture perfect.

…

Katie and Ridge were waiting for the valet to bring his car around outside the Spencer atrium.  They were taking the free moment to compare schedules for the weeks to come.  _Single parenting and work are murder on date nights._

“The CQ event is at the end of the month.  Will that interfere with your road trip with RJ?”

Ridge swiped through the calendar app on his phone.

“I don’t think so.  We can start out earlier and come back sooner.”

“Are you sure he won’t mind?” 

“He’ll mind, but I’ll try to make it up to him.”

“I’ll have to bake him cookies to make up for it.”

“Couldn’t hurt.” 

Katie tapped a reminder into her Smart Note app.  She’d had the worst time with Siri since Will had gotten ahold of her iPhone in one of his possessive tantrums and lobbed it in the pool.

“Mmm, can you come by my place tonight?”

Katie glimpsed his odd expression from the corner of her eye.

“Sure. Should I bring anything?”

“Just yourself.  There are some things we need to talk about.”

“How worried should I be?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“In that case, I should be very worried.”

“Don’t get distracted driving from work. I want you in one piece.”

“If there’s anything you want tell me…”

“I want to tell you that I love you more than words.”

“I love you, too.”  She scrutinized this face she was coming to know as well as her own.  “You’re happy, aren’t you?”

He kissed her lightly.  “I’m deliriously happy with you. This isn’t gonna be that kind of conversation.”

Katie wasn’t so sure.  “Okay…I’ll see you tonight.”

He kissed her again, slow and deep, cradling her face in his hands.  “Just to tide me over.”

_I may have expected too much from August._

Katie missed his lips the moment they were gone from hers.  She hoped she wouldn’t have to miss them ever after.

**…**

Katie was leaving her office for the day when Brooke arrived unannounced.

“We need to talk.”

_I don’t know what circle of hell I’m on today, but I’d like to request an upgrade._

Katie checked for her keys and finding them, made to walk around her sister.

“Brooke, not today.  I have somewhere to be.”

Brooke stepped into her path.  “This is important. We have to discuss what you’re doing with Ridge.”

“We don’t have anything to discuss.  We’ve been dating for months. When are you going to let this go?”

“I won’t let this go.  That’s the man I love, _truly_ love, Katie.”

Katie stopped, bidding silently for patience.  It wasn’t as if Katie didn’t understand on some level.  “I love him, too, Brooke.  And Ridge loves you. He is just no longer in love with you.  I’m sorry that you’re hurt.  You don’t know how I wish this had happened in a different life where Ridge and you didn’t have all the history that you have.”  She’d feel more secure if that shared history didn’t exist, too, she didn’t say.  “Nonetheless, it didn’t there. It happened, _we_ happened in this life.”

“Fighting you won’t make me happy, but my heart won’t let me give up on Ridge.  I’ve tried.”

_When?_ Katie asked herself, bemused. 

“Sure.  Your heart.  Good luck with that.”  Kate looped her purse strap over her shoulder.  “You know where the door is. Adele can show you out if you lose your way.”

Katie left her sister where she stood.  She had bigger dragons to slay tonight.

…

Katie used her key to enter Ridge’s condo.  Fresh moonlight spilled in behind her, the waters crashed against the shoreline, obscuring the double-time galug- thump of her heart as she set foot inside.

She found Ridge sitting in his armchair.  He smiled when he saw her come in and rose to meet her, kissing her hello so sweetly she pulled back wearing a grin of her own.  _He still wants me, he can’t lie that well, so what is this?_

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

He walked her to the sofa.  “Sit with me.”

They sat.

He rubbed a hand on his slacks. “How about a glass of wine?”

“Or you could tell me what you wanted to talk about.”

“Wine might make it go down easier.”

The hairs on Katie’s arms stood up.  She moved a couple of feet down the couch from him.

“Brooke came to see me this afternoon. Is this about that?”

Ridge furrowed his brow. “I don’t know anything about whatever that is.  This is about us.”

Kate’s hackles lowered somewhat.  _At least this isn’t down to Brooke._   She struggled to silence her other insecurities.  _He chose me.  What about Taylor?_

“Is Taylor back?”

“Is she?  I dunno, last time we spoke she was taking a sabbatical in Prague with Thorne stopping in once a fortnight.”

”Oh, I just thought she must be in L.A.”

“Wouldn’t know about that.  This isn’t about Taylor.  This about me, and you.  You need to know why I hesitated to start this.”  He gestured between them.  “— _us_ up.”

“You weren’t sure about your feelings for me.”

“No, I’ve known for a while how I felt.  I told you months ago that I knew I was asking for too much.  I knew I wanted more than you were prepared to give, so I waited and hoped you might come to feel the way I did. That’s not the only reason.”

“Tell me.”

“Do you know why I waited all that time to come back? Why I only called Brooke about RJ? Why I didn’t make any promises to my children and Taylor and hardly saw them while I was there?”

“I thought it must have been awkward under the circumstances.”

“It was, but that wouldn’t be enough to keep me from them today.  I talk to Steffy when she’ll take my calls.  I saw Thomas a lot more in the months before I came home.  I had my reasons and I thought they were good ones, but that doesn’t mean my silence kept anyone from getting hurt.”

“Is there someone else?  Brooke said she thought you got married and had a child.  Bill guessed you had a gay fling.”

“That sounds like something Bill would think.  Hasn’t met very many fashion designers, has he?”

“He’s…Bill.  He has flaws that are easy to overlook when you love him.”

“You can see why I never had that problem.”

“I can!” She giggled, disquieted though she was.  “Why didn’t you come home, Ridge?  Forget Brooke and Bill and everybody else.  Tell me why.”

“I got sick,” he croaked, watching the tips of his polished shoes, expression pensive.  “No, I must have already been sick before I left, before the wedding.  I was just too caught up in Brooke to see what was happening.  I was tired and irritable.  I kept turning up with all these bruises.  Brooke laughed them off and said we’d just got a little…Uh, you know what I mean.”

“Unfortunately, yes.”  Katie let her concern crowd out the rest.  The past wasn’t hers to claim, only the present.

“I puttered around the Forrester place in Paris for a few weeks stewing over my feelings.  I was working up the courage to come back.  I thought I’d overreacted, or that’s what I kept telling myself.  But the time was going by too fast and I couldn’t get up the nerve.  Next thing I know, I came down with this bug I couldn’t shake.  I was out of commission for a month, stuck in bed.  I couldn’t sketch or do paperwork; I was down for the count, knocked out.  Fabrice was the one that eventually pushed me into getting checked out.  He said normal bugs don’t stick around like that.”

Katie shifted toward his end of the sofa.

“I went to the doctor and they ran a bunch of tests.  I was thin.  Hadn’t been able to keep anything down for a while.  I was dehydrated.  My lymph nodes were swollen, but none of ‘em hurt.  Everything else was…agony; I hurt all over.  I kept getting nose bleeds, too.  I wasn’t okay.  I wanted to be and I wasn’t.”

_I have to ask what it is. I should ask._   No part of her wanted this to be true.  _Ridge can’t be sick. I don’t want him to be sick._

“What was your diagnosis?”

“Adult Acute Myeloid Leukemia, AML.”

Katie pressed her forehead against his shoulder.  _Be strong. Stay strong._  “Okay. Tell me more. What was your prognosis?”

“Decent, not great.  It’s more severe in adults, more common in children.  I’d waited a while to get my symptoms seen to and I was pretty bad off.  I wanted to come home right then, but I was too sick to travel.  My doctors wouldn’t have permitted it. Fabrice put his foot down as best he could.  Not that it mattered since my immune system was shot.  I went to a concert with some friends and got so sick afterward I had to be admitted to a hospital.  I was in denial; I don’t get sick.”

“So when you spent the night with me when I had the flu you were taking your life in your hands.”

“I was okay.   It would have been worth it even if I wasn’t.”

Kate leapt up and began to pace.  She needed distance.  _I forget how to think around him._

“Not to me!  You had no right to put me in the middle of your illness. I wouldn’t have ever forgiven myself if you’d died only for me to find out it was all my fault.”

“I know it was selfish—“

“It _was_ selfish.  You made a choice that would have impacted both of us and our sons and you don’t have the right to do that.”

“It felt worth it.”

“To leave RJ and Steffy and Thomas just like that?”

“To be close to you. On that night, it felt worth it.”

Katie collapsed into his chair, head in hands.  This was the world entire on her shoulders.  She’d forgotten how to bear the weight.  _Shakespeare didn’t write our story, Shakespeare won’t.  This is ours and we decide the ending._   She went to Ridge, grabbing his arm.

“Don’t ever say that to me again.  I’m not Brooke. I don’t need you to risk your life for me to know how much you love me. When you say it, it’s enough.”

“I love you.”

“And that’s enough.”  Katie laid her hand across his beating heart.  “Don’t ever do that to me again.  Don’t make me the weapon that kills you.  That’s not what love is and if that’s what loving Brooke has taught you, she taught you wrong.”

“I know.”

He pulled her onto his lap.

_“Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,  
With what I most enjoy contented least;”_

“Poetry can’t fix everything.”

“Sometimes it’s the only thing that can.”

They rested temple to temple, breathing in sync.  Katie couldn’t let this moment go by.

_“_ _Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,..”_

He shifted to brush a kiss across her cheek as he reached up to cradle her face.

_“Haply I think on thee, and then my state,_  
Like to the lark at break of day arising   
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;  
For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings  
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.”

Kate exhaled, shaky.  “Even a perfectly _healthy_ king?”

“A healthy king could never be as happy as you’ve made me this year.”

“I don’t want to lose you.  If having you means losing you in the end, I don’t know if I’m that strong.”

“Then, you won’t have me and I won’t have anybody.  I’m not going to Brooke. I’m not going to Taylor. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just be on my own.  Is that better?”

Katie couldn’t answer.

He pulled away.  “You can go if that’s what you need to do.  We can forget this whole thing and go back to before.”

“You know we can’t go back.  You can’t un-kiss me or….”

“Given the chance I’d kiss you with my last breath.”

“You say the most beautiful things and they scare me.”

He waited.  Katie wouldn’t make him wait for long.

“I believe them when you say them, and I believe the heartbreak, the literal _heartbreak_ just to love you would be worth the pain.”

“I know it would be.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you wouldn’t be the one left behind.”

Ridge brushed away her tears.  “Doesn’t matter.  I’d be without you.”

Katie hid her face and touched her scar.  _You’d never be without me._

“Katie, I’ll do everything in my power not to leave you.  I’m not done loving yet or creating.  I still have things to contribute to this world, and I have a life I have to keep living with you.”

She closed her eyes and prayed.  “You’d better be okay.”

“I’ll be okay, but I have this appointment.”

“That’s why you’re telling me.”

“I’m telling you because you deserve to know what you’re getting yourself into.  Some of the symptoms…I’m tired lately, keep falling asleep at my desk.  The gala knocked me out; it wasn’t just you.  The bruises…I have an appointment tomorrow.  I don’t know what happens after it, but you needed to know before I go.”

Katie felt like she’d been kicked.  “You should have told me _months ago._   I deserved to know.”

“I was better, in remission.  I was nervous that you wouldn’t want to be with me knowing there might not be time for it.”

That _hurt._   “We found each other close to thirty years after we met.  Even if we live another fifty, there won’t be enough time.  I wasted months feeling guilty about what was happening in my head and in my heart. I will not waste another day.  We’ll make time.”

She stretched up and kissed him softly.  “We will _make_ time.”

He held her tighter than any occasion before.  She held on just as tight.  They did nothing but make time and love and memories for the remainder of the night.


	17. August, Part II

Katie spent much of her board meeting the next afternoon with her mind in a Rodeo Drive doctor’s office.  It adjourned without her remembering a single subject they’d discussed.  _I should have sat this one out. Adele would have told me the details._   She smiled painfully through handshakes and delayed returning to her office to visit Will at the Spencer daycare center.

He was preoccupied with his playthings and his playmates.  He was a social butterfly, flittering back and forth between stations.  He dragged a duck behind him that had his name sewn on the tail feathers.

_He wouldn’t remember Ridge. RJ would have more years without his father than they had together._

Katie waved at Will when he caught sight of her.  It was the first time today her smile felt real.  _I’ll tell him that he was loved, that they both were._

When Katie couldn’t bear one more concerned look from the attendants, she fled the center to go back to her office. There wasn’t a chance of her being able to concentrate, she knew that, but there was a Board to pacify and her own worries to soothe.  She eventually found a ledger to balance and put her nose to the grindstone.  Numbers made sense; her heart wasn’t in numbers.  The hours slipped away from her while she made sure each department reporting its expenditures to the Office of the CEO was in the black.  Liam’s was, as expected, the best off, despite the fact that he considered deadlines something akin to polite suggestions rather than rules.  _I’ll have to talk to him about that._

By the time early evening had rolled around Katie had talked herself and her heart rate into an uneasy truce.  She would be fine, terrified or not.  That all went out the window with a text from Ridge.

**_Done @ doctor.  Coming to Spencer._ **

Katie had been standing to refill her coffee.  She couldn’t keep it up.  She was still staring at Ridge’s message when she heard his knock at her office door.

“Come in.”  _Please be okay._

She forced her legs to support her. 

Ridge didn’t say anything when he stepped into her office. He tried—she saw him try but there were no words.  Katie had expected the worse and here it was.

Part of her had foreseen this and planned accordingly.  She began packing her things for the night.  She wouldn’t be getting anything else done.  There was nothing else she wanted to do _here._   She needed to be at home, with him and Will, and _time._

“I’ll take a leave of absence. I’ll make the Board understand.  We’ll go to Paris. They knew how to make you better there; they’ll figure out it out again.”

He approached her desk.  “Katie.”

She went on. “It’ll be good for Will to learn French.  RJ and Fabrice can teach him.  Is he still there?”

“Yeah, he’s there.”  Ridge wet his lips as if ready to speak, but Katie wasn’t ready to hear this, not yet.

“We can take the Spencer jet.”

Ridge shook his head. “Better take mine. We don’t want Bill complaining to the board about inappropriate allocation of resources.  But that doesn’t matter, we’re not going to Paris—not for that.”

“Don’t tell me it’s too late. I can’t hear that. I _won’t_ hear that. It’s not acceptable.”

Katie couldn’t have finally found the man she was meant to love only to lose him.  Hadn’t she faced enough catastrophe?

“You’re right, it isn’t.  I’m not going anywhere.  Not now.”

Katie gathered her wherewithal.  _I have to face the music. He needs me. I can’t be a coward about this._

“How bad is it?”

“It’s not.”  Ridge came to her side of her desk to take her hands in his.  “It’s not bad. I’m anemic because I haven’t been eating right.  I haven’t been sleeping enough because work politics keep me awake.  I’m bruising because I’ve got my head in the clouds over you and I keep bumping into stuff left and right.  I haven’t got one condition that a little TLC can’t take care of.  I’m healthy as I was yesterday.”

 He rubbed her shoulders where they slowly began to quake.  As it worsened, Ridge pulled her into his arms where she went gladly.  Katie was hot and cold all over.  She couldn’t control these chills wracking her body.  She was too dry-eyed to cry in relief.

“You’re okay. It’s not the…”  _Look at me, I can’t even call it what it is._   “You don’t have it anymore?”

 “Still in remission.”  He rubbed his hands up and down her back. “I could stay that way.”

“You could slip out of it.”

“And you could experience transplant rejection at any time.”

Katie flinched.  He kissed her forehead in apology.

“I don’t like to think about it either, but this is the way it is.  This what we live with every day.  You and I are a couple of time bombs.  Maybe we’ll never go off; maybe we’re not even set to go off, but we could.  The question is whether we want to live waiting for the explosion or just live like it doesn’t matter.  We have to choose.”

“I choose whichever gives me the most time with you.”

“That could be anything.  You can’t live in denial about this.  It could break you if you do.  I almost broke in Paris at first.  I wanted to run home, but I got sick too fast from the treatment.”  Ridge swallowed, blinking back moisture in his eyes.  “I couldn’t come home for mom. Didn’t want her to see me like that.  She wanted to hear that I was fine, wanted to know I’d survive her.  What would it have done for her to know I might not?”

“I don’t know what good or ill it might have done, but I know that wherever she is, she’s happy to know you’re still living, no matter how much she misses you.”

“I want to believe you.”

Katie laughed despite the throbbing hurt inside that wasn’t quite her heart.  “That’s my line.”

“Yeah, that was a hint.”

Katie guided Ridge’s head down to rest on her shoulder.  “Believe me.  I’ll believe enough for both of us until you can.  This is _our_ life and Stephanie would be very proud of you for living it well.  We’re going to _keep_ living it well.”

She exhaled as if every anxiety that had plagued her since last night was leaving her all at once.

“Here’s my side.  Don’t withhold vital information from me.  This life we’re living is a shared life and the only way we can go forward is with the understanding that what happens to one of us happens to all of us.”

“I won’t lie to you again.”

“You can’t. I won’t tolerate it, I won’t make excuses for it.  Remember your rules about only making promises you keep?  This is where I put your word to the test.”

**…**

Katie spent days worrying before she let her anger go.  Sure, she was furious—how dare he make her love him, _knowing_ —but she lived on the same borrowed hours.  Who was she to disparage his wanting to go on like normal?

“Time for your interstate man trip.”

Ridge was loading up the car with soccer balls and hockey sticks.  He was wearing a horrible Red Wings cap she was determined to ‘accidentally’ lose the next time it came up for a washing.

He slid his arms around her to kiss the side of her neck.  “Could be a family trip if you come along.”

Katie relaxed against his chest, taking a mental snapshot of this moment.  This was the man she loved and the love he felt in return was living thing between them. 

“I can’t.  There’s too much work to make up at Spencer and I’m convinced Brooke has voodoo dolls of both of us in her hearts chest.  I’ve got enough against me, but I want you to be careful and have fun enough for all of us.”

Ridge kissed her softly.  “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you.”

RJ came barreling out of Ridge’s place with the bag of snacks Katie had helped him pack for their trip.  He hadn’t stopped chattering about the fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches for an hour.  Ridge’s long-suffering glare was worth her nephew’s smiles.

“Do I get a hug, Aunt Katie?”

“Of course you do, sugar. Get over here.”

Katie hugged her nephew close and kissed his hair.  “Look at you, growing like a weed.  Be good for your dad out there. I want you both to come home safe and soon.”

“But not too soon,” Ridge interjected.

“Soon enough,” Katie replied.

“Come on, RJ, we gotta get going.”

Her nephew whispered goodbye to his cousin and ran off to join his dad in the car.

Katie blew them both a kiss.  “Take care of each other.”

“Always,” Ridge called back.  “Will, take care of your mom.  I know I don’t have to tell her to look after you.”

She lifted Will up from the gangway of Ridge’s beach house where he’d been perusing his latest RJ-gifted toy in delight.

“Say bye-bye, Will.”

“Baii-baii.”  Will waved, his prized duck clutched to his side.

Katie and Will walked to the end of the driveway to watch until Ridge and RJ disappeared around a bend in the road.

“Come on, Will, let’s go visit Caroline and see if she and that baby of hers want to go out for lunch.”

**…**

The dark-haired couple were undisturbed by her entry.

Katie wavered on the threshold, determined to beat a hasty retreat, yet too fascinated to go.

Quinn Fuller dragged her nails down Bill’s back.  He yowled in obvious satisfaction.

“Crazy bitch.”

“You love it.”

“Damned if I don’t."

_Nope._ Katie backed out of the office until she hit the wall on the opposite side of the hallway.

Pam, who was walking down the hall, paused in front of her.

“Honey, you okay?”

Bill’s whinnying spoke volumes, _at volume._

Pam hurried to Quinn’s office door and slammed it shut.  The stallion whickered to a halt.  “That’s enough of that.”

“I wanted to take Caroline to lunch and then...this.”

Pam winced in sympathy.

“That could put a dent anyone’s appetite.  Caroline’s in with Rick and Hope. Come on, I’ll show you where you can wait.”  Katie lingered, dumbfounded, yet unable to go. “Don’t you worry about those two, hon.  They’ll get theirs.”

“Yeah.”  Katie tightened her hold on her handbag and followed Pam in the opposite direction of the world’ most loaded silence.

She might need to drop Will off with the sitter and have margaritas for lunch instead.  _It’ll take more than carbs to forget this one._


	18. August, Part III

Katie woke up the next morning to a slew of text messages and a frantic shouting at her door.  She stumbled down hastily, hoping to quiet her intruder before they woke Will.

She found her former stepson hopping frantically from foot to foot whilst tapping away at his iPad.

“Liam, what are you doing here?”

“You need to get dressed. We’ve got to get you online.”

“What are you talking about? It’s almost 4 in the morning.”

“It’s 7 on the East Coast. Don’t just stand there, get dressed.”

“No! Not until you tell me what’s going on here.”

“It’s my dad. He called a ‘no-confidence’ vote for _now_.”

Katie’s world stopped.

“We won’t have time to drive to Spencer to stop him in person, but I can link you up for a teleconference from dad’s old home office. Go get dressed, we don’t have a second to lose.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“Because…he’s done enough.  This is too much.  He’s got to stop this.  The bad press will kill this company before anything else does.”

Katie knew what that admissions must have cost him. Losing Bill’s regard, or worse, was tantamount giving up the family he’d yearned for all his life.

“I’ll keep your name out of it.”

Liam’s grateful smile was blinding.

“Thanks.”

Katie rushed into her bedroom to change from her nightclothes into a blouse and blazer.  She opted not to change out of her pajama bottoms since they wouldn’t be appear on camera.  Liam was tapping away at her home computer when she returned to the study.

“The Board’s calling in from around the country. You’ll be another talking head on the screen, but they should all be able to see you and hear you.”  He pointed to the mounted webcam.  “Direct your eyes here. If you have anything you want to say to me, pass me a note. I’ll be right on the other side of the monitor, watching this whole thing go down.”

“Can I borrow your phone, mine is charging.”

He slid his iPhone across the polished desk.

Katie waivered on whether to let Ridge know what was going on.  She didn’t want to interrupt his quality time with RJ.  They didn’t see one another often enough to say he was home for summer.  She delayed the decision by calling Karen first.

There were five rings before the call clicked over to voicemail.

“You told me to call if Bill tried it again.  He’s trying it _now._   You need to be here.  Call Liam.  He’ll patch you in.”  Katie ended the call, spinning Liam’s cell back to him.

“Don’t stop calling her until you get an answer.”

“I’m on it.”

Katie tried to shake her nerves as her teleconference screen began to buffer.  There were eight windows up, each boasting a name and location for each attending member of the Spencer Board.

_There are fifteen Board Members.  Sixteen if Steffy hasn’t resigned.  Why am I only seeing nine? Eight if one of these windows is Bill.  We do not have a quorum._

Katie pulled a note from her desk organizer to scribble a note, then pushed it toward Liam.  He frowned, shaking his head.

_No quorum._

She straightened her blouse and threw back her shoulders.  She resonated Brooke.

Liam threw up his hand to draw her eyes.

He mouthed, “5…4…3…2…”

Katie’s screen flashed to life with her reflection.  She could see the instant she appeared on their screens by the chorus line of blinking eyes, tensing jaws, and rising shoulders.  _Nobody likes to be caught red-handed._   Bill was right at the center, his entire body bracketed by images of disembodied heads.  If Katie had her guess she’d say he was standing in the Spencer Publishing conference room.  _Start as you mean to go on._

He was speechless at the sight of her.

“Good morning, Bill.  I’m sure you meant to invite me to this meeting since it was about me in the first place.  You must have forgotten my number.”

“Katie.”

“That’s my name.”

“You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Why not?  This is my job we’re talking about, as the Board well knows since they supported my appointment to the position of CEO.  I’ve spoken to each of you on multiple occasions.  In fact, we had a meeting just this week about the gains Spencer Pub has made under my leadership.  Was there something you forgot to discuss with me?”

Every one of the bobbing heads on her screen shifted uncomfortably.  Katie knew a coup when she saw one.

“Take your time, I’ll wait.”

“As owner of this company, I’m not satisfied with your performance.  For that reason, I’ve called a no-confidence vote to have your removed.”

“I don’t believe you’ve reported your reservations to me, Mr. Spencer.  Perhaps if you’d called, I could have answered your concerns.”

“You weren’t interested in what I had to say.”

“That’s usually true, but on this matter, I’m afraid I have to disagree.”

They all started in tandem when a last box popped up showing a very frazzled Karen Spencer sans makeup.

“It’s seven in the morning.  I need a very good reason to be up this early on a Saturday.”

Bill smirked.  “We’re voting on the CEO position.”

“It’s not up for a vote for at least another month.”

“I’m pushing up the date.”

“No, you’re not. You don’t have the authority to do that.”

“As 49% owner of this company, you bet your ass I do.”

Karen squinted at her screen.  “You have eight members.  By the bylaws, this is not a quorum. You can’t vote on critical business without a quorum.  What are you playing at, Bill?”

“It’s time for us to get Spencer Pub back on the right track.”

“Based on whose definition?”

“Our father’s.”

“Bull.  Shut this meeting down or I’ll fly down and shut it down personally.  I’ll bring a whole team of lawyers and we’ll divest you of more than that ridiculous facial hair.”  For the hundreds of miles between them, there was no question that Karen was looking at Bill Spencer, Jr. alone.

A talking head from Albuquerque braved the icy silence.

“Ms. Spencer, you don’t have the authority—“

“You’re a proxy. Don’t think I don’t know the board members on sight.  If I call Evan Scarsdale and he’s fast asleep at this hour, I will _know_ you’ve been bought and you’ll spend the next ten to twenty in Club Fed.  Try me.”

The talking head from New Mexico was so silenced.

“You want this company back, Bill. Earn it. Show us you know how to be something besides an embarrassment to the Spencer name.  I’m sick of the dirty dealings. I’m damned sick of the scandal.  Dad was enough.  You were supposed to bring about a change.”

“So I’ve disappointed you. How touching.”

“You will never get to be CEO again, not as long as I’m able to fight.  Go home, Bill. Collect your paycheck. Take up a hobby that doesn’t include isn’t committing felonies with impunity. Then, we’ll talk.”

“You can’t keep me out forever, Karen.  I’m too good.”

Karen’s normally genial expression turned stony.

“You did an end run around me. You shouldn’t have done that.  I’ll see you on Monday.”

Karen’s screen skipped to black.  In the loaded beats to follow, the other eight screens followed suit until only Katie and Bill remained.

“Monday,” she echoed and signaled for Liam to terminate the call.

He did.

 


	19. August, Part IV

…

Despite Katie’s protests, Ridge and RJ had cut their road trip short to return home Monday night.  RJ was keeping Will occupied upstairs whilst Katie and Karen considered their options, with occasional input from Ridge.

Karen clutched her cup of coffee avariciously.

“Right now, they’re not overriding your appointment because they don’t want to piss me off as majority shareholder.  He’ll do it, though.  He’ll get the job back. It won’t be this year, I ensured that in this morning’s scheduled vote.  You’ve got that long to make them want you or you’re out of a job.”

“No pressure.”

“That’s the cost of doing business, I’m afraid.  I wouldn’t give up if I were you.  You’ve shown we can conduct business with compassion and still make a killing.  We don’t have to be ruthless.”  Karen rubbed matter from her eyes.  She’d flown down from New York to meet with Bill on Monday morning.  It was obvious she hadn’t slept a great deal since her brother’s failed takeover attempt on Saturday.

“Compassionate business makes us look good. We’ve become an attractive place to work. We’ve been dubbed ‘family-friendly’.  There’s a profit to be made in having that for a brand identity, but it’s not fast.  We have to show we’re willing to take the hit in the short-run for doing the unpopular thing in order for our employees to benefit over the long run.  I don’t know that they’re going to give you that time.”

“Then, I’ll have to make them regret getting rid of me.”

“So you will.”

Ridge came back from the kitchen carrying a tray of fresh coffee for all three of them.

“In the tradition of CEOs throughout history, you’ve got a loyalty problem.”

Karen traded her old security blanket for another cup and began to look marginally more human.  Katie took hers with thanks, but was more grateful for his arm around her shoulders.

“People that are loyal to Bill,” Katie offered.

“People that loyal to Bill, Sr. or Bill, Jr. and  _then_  the company,” Ridge countered.  “You have to convert them to your way of thinking, demote them so they can’t be a roadblock to your agenda, or you gotta send ‘em packing.”

“The employees will riot if I start issuing pink slips out of the blue.”

Although Katie wasn’t ungrateful for Ridge’s input, she worried about alienating Karen whose support would be vital to her continued employment.

“Meaning you’ve got your work cut out for you.  You’ll have to go through employee records, annual evaluations, quarterly performance reviews and so on to find out who you really need where and who you can do without in a pinch.  Chances are some people have kept their jobs this long by cozying up to the boss.  Find people who may be better suited to these positions and your agenda and promote from within.”

Karen emerged clear-eyed from her caffeine-fueled meditation.

“As much as I dislike telling tales out of school, Ridge has a point.  If you want to succeed, heads need to roll.”

“People are doing their jobs.”

“People are trying to stay employed and they’ll professionally disembowel you to do it.  If you cannot say the same, print off your resignation.  I can’t fight for you if you don’t want this.”

“I want it.”

“Prove it.”

“Justin Barber needs to go.”

Karen sat, arms crossed.  “Are you asking my permission?  You’re the boss, dump him. Who’s next?”

“Bertie Aldon.”

“Aldon’s entrenched.  You’ll get blowback.  Are you ready?”

“I love my job. I think I can bring a positive change to Spencer Pub L.A.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I will be ready.”

“Then, you don’t need me.”  Karen put down her mug and stood to leave.  “Let me know if my brother tries anything else.  I’m meeting with him again tomorrow morning, his idea. We need to have words, Spencer to Spencer, because I must have failed to make myself clear.  He seems to have forgotten I’m still the only person other than Dad who can put him in a headlock.”

“If he thinks you’re taking my side, he’ll stonewall you.”

“The upside of being majority owner is being able to ignore the pouting.”

“Can this get worse?”  Katie wasn’t sure she had the stamina for worse from here.  August was putting July to shame.

“Yes.  You decide where you raise the white flag.  Bill will push you right to your limit if he can.”  Karen dithered a moment.  “There  _is_  a potential compromise on the table.  You and Bill could co-occupy the executive seat.”

“Not a chance.”

“Ridge!”  Katie was surprised at him.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s not my place, but the thought of that guy around you day in and day out, I don’t like it.”

“He’s not interested in me anymore.  I sometimes think he hates me.  I’ve heard what he says about me.”

 “He doesn’t hate you.  He may not like you, but that’s not hate.”

Karen weighed in.  “My brother has complicated feelings for you.  Like a child, instead of talking about his emotions, he lashes out and makes weapons out of what he can’t put into words.”

Katie had no desire to analyze the tangle of her former husband’s emotional landscape.  She had to prioritize the man she had chosen to be with now.

She opted to set aside that immediate issue to walk Karen to the door.

“Karen, thank you for helping me deal with this.  I don’t know how everything got so out of hand.”

“This is life in the corporate world.  The best thing you can do is call the ref when you’re cornered by a foul play.  In your case, I’m the ref.”

“Do you have somewhere to stay? You’re welcome to join Will and I here during your visit.”

“I’m occupying the Spencer Executive suite at the Omni.  It’s only for tonight. I plan to head home tomorrow.  I miss my bed—and my wife, for that matter.”

“Give Dani my best when you talk to her.”

“I will.”  Katie and Karen embraced warmly.  Karen leaned around Katie to tender a wave to the third person in the room.  “Ridge, as always, a pleasure.”

Ridge stood by the sofa, hands in his pockets.  “The same to you.  Drive safe.”

“Thank you.  Until tomorrow,” Karen murmured  _sotto voce_  on her exit.

Katie pulled the last of her energy together to face Ridge.

“Do you trust me?”

Ridge pursed his lips, gave an oblique nod.

“I don’t want Bill back.  Given the way he’s hurt me, I wouldn’t want to sit next to him on a plane, much less work with him, much less build another home with him.  There’s no threat here.”

“You still love him.  Because of Will, because of all the unfinished business.   If he promised to change, I’d be outta luck.”

“He’s sworn to me he could be better before and that was a trick.  I have this life now that I couldn’t imagine two years ago.  I have this dream job and I have Will and you.  What could Bill give me that I don’t have?”

“Your dignity.  He took that with him and left you in shreds.  He comes back and you two make up and it’s yours.  You were right, he was a pig, you two were meant to be all along. I’m a detour.”

“Putting aside that dignity remark, which we will be coming back to, where is this coming from?”

“Experience.”

“You think  _Bill_  is my destiny?”

Ridge scrubbed a hand down his face and sat back down.  He started to say something and then seemed to reconsider.

“I don’t know what I’m saying.  Forget it.”

Katie sat down on the coffee table so that they were face to face.

“I don’t think I can.  No, I know I can’t.  Bill is…he’s himself.  He’s ridiculous and brash and shallow and ruthless.  His ego could fill up this room and not leave an ounce of oxygen for anyone else to breathe.  He’s an egotist.  He’s vain.”

“You love him.”

“I  _care_  about him, he’s the father of my child.”

“Like I care about Brooke.”

“I suppose so.  Why?”  Katie folded her arms in front of her.  “How do you feel about Brooke?  Is she giving you trouble at the office?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Are you doubting our relationship?  You seemed sure before.”   _You staked your life on us._

“You don’t need to worry about that.  My feelings for you are solid.  I’m not so sure yours are for me.”

“I’m not sure what to say, this is coming out of  _nowhere_.”  Katie sifted through her memories.  Ridge had been fine before he left for his trip with RJ.  This was the first hint she’d gotten that he wasn’t entirely content.  “Somebody’s gotten to you.  Was it Brooke?”

“I don’t talk to her that much.  She’s a non-issue.”

“I don’t see how she could be.  You see her every day.  What did she say to make you doubt me?”

“It wasn’t…”  Ridge sighed.  “Bill Spencer and I had words, he made some good points about the past the two of you share.  Maybe I’m not the one with the unfinished business.  That could be a good thing.”

“For me to go back to the man you said yourself is a terrible person? How could that be considered in any way a good thing?”

“I’ve got the sword of Damocles hanging over my head. It’s not even swinging, but sometimes I think I can see it.  Bastard that he is, he doesn’t have that.”

“The list of what I want and need that Bill cannot give me is endless.  Time doesn’t even make the top twenty.”

**…**

Ridge had taken RJ rollerblading to make up for coming home early. They had plans to hike the next day, and to take Will sandcastle building that afternoon.  Katie had absented herself from their itinerary early on.  She’d encroached enough on their time together.  She took this opportunity to hand some very necessary personal business.

_That son of a bitch lied to me.  I let him lie to me._   Because as she’d told Justin, Katie had a tendency to trust the very people in her life who’d proven they couldn’t be trusted.

She let herself into Liam’s beach house with spare key taped to the mail slot.

“Every time I turn my head, you’re up to something, and none of it productive.  What do you do all day?”

Bill shut off his HDTV.  “I think. I brainstorm. I play the stock market.  I make money, which is more than anybody can say for you these days.”

“I make a great deal of money for myself and the company. Ask Karen.”

“Oh, we’ve spoken.”

“Did she get your head on straight?  We cannot have this amount of in-fighting, it damages our image and it’s a blow to employee morale.”

“Being in the red is a blow to the bottom line.”

“That’s propaganda.  You shouldn’t believe your own lies, Bill; they always come back to bite you when you do.”

“I’m trying to salvage my father’s legacy.”

“You couldn’t stand your father. You’re trying to line your pockets.”

“Nothing wrong with profit.”

“I never said there was anything wrong with it.  In fact, I’m sure you’ve gotten perfectly adequate checks from Spencer since your departure.  Are they smaller than the hauls you’re used to? Probably.  But you can be sure that in time they’ll grow—if you and Brooke  _stop_  sabotaging me at every turn.”

Bill swilled his scotch.  “I couldn’t be bothered.  You wanna run my company into the ground, you go right ahead. I’ll be waiting to be called off the bench and fix what you decimated.”

“I’m still not a stupid woman, Bill.  I put all my cards on you, because it made sense.  Who else wants their way desperately enough that destroying my credibility wouldn’t be too high a price?  That’s you.  It was you, then; it’s you now. What I failed to account for is your particular flair.  Coming after me as a woman and mother isn’t you; that has another type of person written all over it.  That’s Brooke.  You and Brooke teamed up to oust me.  Very clever.”  Katie might have applauded if loyalty hadn’t guided her wrong again.  “If only you’d had the good sense to stop when you were winning.  That’s where your partnership hit the rocks: you don’t have the same ends in mind.  You want the company, but that’s not what Brooke’s after, is it?”

Bill’s jaw bulged under the force of him grinding his teeth.

“She’s got you good.  You’re so far gone that you’re going along with this, thinking she’ll get him out of her system and devote herself entirely to you.  That’s…pretty sad, actually.”

“What Brooke and I do is none of your concern.”

“Oh, no, you’re going to have to try another diversionary tactic.  That one worked once, not twice.   See, whatever your motives for being involved in Brooke’s little scheme,  _you_  are trying to undermine my relationship with Ridge and  _you_  need to stop.”

Bill grunted and wrenched himself out of his sprawl to refill his drink.  “I served him some home truths piping hot.  What’s the matter with that?  If your puppy love can’t take it, it wasn’t much to begin with, was it?”

Katie stared at his back, aware she’d offended his vaunted pride.  She knew him so well.

“Do you hate me that much that you’d sabotage one of the best parts of my life just to see me suffer?”

Bill favored himself with another gulp of bitter brown liquor.  “There’s nothing good about Forrester.  He’s in this ‘relationship’ of yours to get back at Brooke for straying from that fainting couch he left her on and finding better for herself.  You’re low-hanging fruit.”

Katie felt each word like a slap to the face and tried not to let the sting show in her voice.

“God, did you ever love me or was I just one more errant stroke for your overfed ego?”

Bill stood silent for a while, his great shoulders slumped.  She had loved leaning against his back; he was the ultimate man and he had wanted Katie of all women.  She had loved him.

“I loved you, Katie. I loved the hell out of you.  It was you that didn’t love me.  The person  _you_  wanted to love wasn’t me.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that.” What hadn’t they disagreed on in the end?  “Anyway, I don’t think that can be said for Quinn. She seems  _very_  invested in you just as you are.  What would Brooke say about that?  As her sister, I have some reservations about your inability to commit.”

“You know, the problem with our marriage wasn’t commitment, Katie. It was you.”

_Brooke’s self-delusion is catching._

“I’ll take some of the blame for our marital struggles, I will.  I was demanding and dictatorial.  I wanted everything exactly how I wanted it with no room to negotiate; I wasn’t open to compromise.  Never mind that I was only asking you not to commit crimes on a regular basis because we had a son and I thought you might want to see him grow up.  I didn’t want you dead and I didn’t want you incarcerated for the next sixty years.  I wanted us to grow old together.”

“That wasn’t in the cards for us.”

“I see that.  That doesn’t mean I’m going to watch you hurt my sister because ‘commitment isn’t the problem’.  Figure out what you want, but leave my family out of your mid-life crisis.”

“ _I’m_  Brooke’s family.”

Katie braced her hand on her hip to keep from slapping Bill.  She and her sister would never again be close, but they were  _sisters_  and each other’s family first.

“That hubris is what cost you your company.  It will cost you everything else before long.”

She left him sitting in the dark beach house with his alcohol for company.  She had better places to be.

**…**

Katie fortified her nerves to speak to her sister.  She knocked on Brooke’s open office door at Forrester Creations.

Brooke’s confusion was palpable.   _You are not the only one._

“This is a surprise.”

“Yes, well, I just wanted to tell you something.”

“What could you possibly want to tell me?”

“It’s about Bill.”

“You disapprove of me becoming involved with him.”

“Involved with him  _again._   Let’s not forget that this isn’t new.  But, that isn’t the point I came to make.  I don’t have a say in any of this—“

“No, you don’t.”

“ _Regardless_ , I think you should be warned about him.”

“Why do you care?”

“The same reason you care about Ridge after everything the two of you have lived through:  you love him.  And I love you despite a considerable amount of treachery on your part.  Bill is incapable of fidelity.  You will get hurt if you pursue this relationship.”

“Am I supposed to take you at your word despite this massive deception you’ve perpetrated against me?”

_She should not instigate a game of tit-for-tat with me._

“You don’t think you’re being a little bit dramatic?”

“No, I’m not being dramatic, Katie.  You made me bow and scrape and beg for your forgiveness when all along you had your eye on the prize of doing it right back to me.”

“Not true.  If you put a modicum of the focus you put into  _chasing your destiny_  into what comes out of your mouth, you would realize how ridiculous that is.  Ridge chose to be with me, that was his greatest gift to me.  He gave his heart to me to love and to cherish for as long as we last.”

“You don’t think the two of you will go the distance.”

“Whether we do or we don’t, we’re committed to each other.  How committed are you and Bill?”

“Extremely committed.”

“I’ll remember that the next time you make a play for Ridge.  I’ll remind you.  In the meantime, watch who you trust.”

“You’ve taught me that lesson very well.”

“Likewise. Oh, and Brooke?”

“Yes?”

“If you attack my relationship or my company again, whatever proxies you may use, I will find out, and I will take extreme satisfaction in shutting you down.  Sisters or not.  Am I clear?”

“As a bell.”

“Good.”

Katie left Brooke’s office, feeling like she’d drawn even in some great battle as a sister but won in another, as yet undefinable way.

…

Katie arrived home to the smell of fresh French bread and basil beckoning her from the front door.

The coffee table had been moved from the middle of the living room to make room for a checkered picnic blanket.  On top of the blanket sat a duet of place settings and wine glasses.  There was a wine bottle chilling and lit candles placed strategically around the room to give it a diaphanous glow.  A wicker basket sat to the side of the couch, no doubt the source of the sumptuous aroma welcoming her inside.

“Katie, you home?”

She turned to meet Ridge as he came out of the kitchen carrying a bowl of glistening strawberries.

“Hey.  Am I interrupting something?”

“Nope.”  They shared a kiss.  “This is for you.  A romantic evening to ease some of the strain you’ve been under lately.”

“What the occasion?”

“Me being an idiot.”

She fixed him with a dubious look.  “Did Donna tell you to say that?”

He shrugged noncommittally.  “It came to me.”

“So Taylor, Caroline, Donna,  _and_  Steffy told you to say that.”

“And Pam,” he muttered.

“You’re eating every single lemon bar she sends us after the month we’ve had. All of them.  And  _no_  foisting them on Will.”

“Why not? He likes ‘em.”

“He likes them too much.  The sugar high will drive us both insane.”

He conceded without much further arguing.  She kissed him hello properly in spite of her certainty that her son had at least a dozen lemon bars too many in his future.  Ridge held her close with one arm whilst he balanced his strawberries in the other.  This was the part of their relationship she could get used to dangerously easily, this coming home to him.  They parted finally, standing brow to brow.

“I spoke to Bill and Brooke.”

“How’s Spencer?”

He was making a point of showing disinterest in Brooke. He did that for her; she loved him a tad more for thinking to try.

“Sententious and bellicose, the same as always.”

“Do I wanna hear about this?”

“You need to hear it.”

“I don’t like him.”

Katie helped herself to his strawberries, setting them aside on an end table for later devouring, and slid her arms around his neck.

“In case you were unaware, he’s no great fan of yours either.  You know, I’ve been so busy acclimating to being with a man that loves me and only me that I didn’t stop to think that maybe you had some doubts, too.”  Ridged rubbed her back, not replying.  She kissed his temple.  “Ridge, I love you, whatever they have to say about that is irrelevant to us for that reason.  Everyone telling us that we’re wrong together will have to get used to this.”  She indicated their embrace.  “We’re not going anywhere.  We’ll show them.”

“Living well is the best revenge.”

“And we’re well on our way to getting even.”

She kissed him again and, don’t tell Ridge, but it turned out to be better than dinner and dessert combined.


	20. September, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Brooke aren't done with Ridge and Katie yet. They may regret that.

**September**

 

Katie wore Dior to the _CQ_ launch and it was a fashion headline for three days before Ridge grudgingly and with eyes rolled released a statement reminding the press that Katie wasn’t his personal dress form and she wore whatever she wanted.   The media had tired of the love story, they had turned to seeking out the cracks in their united front. Nevermind that Ridge was in attendance for the unveiling of the magazine’s first cover or that he had been photographed nuzzling the side of her neck in a candid moment behind the scenes.  He supported her one hundred percent; that just wasn’t the story that sold.

Katie had the chance to get very familiar with the video footage:

_A tall, wiry reporter in loaned designer duds exposited about the day, closing their summary of Katie’s remarks with overly serious note that Katie wasn’t playing for home team and asking Ridge’s input._

_Decked in Hugo Boss himself, Ridge’s response was less than impressed._

_“We’re at a launch for Spencer Publications’ newest project and you want to talk about what designer the CEO is wearing?  You don’t think you’re focused on the wrong thing?”_

_“It’s all part of the story.”_

_“Not today it isn’t.  I’m here to support Katie.  I’d support her if she wore a potato sack.”  Ridge gazed off-camera to where Katie was presiding over a gaggle of print media reporters from a podium.  “It’s Dior; she could do worse for a potato sack.”_

 

Katie facepalmed and shut off the blaring television screen. She’d seen enough.

“You insulted Dior.  The entire design house is breathing fire.  How did you manage that in less than twenty words?”

“I didn’t call down the house, Van Asscher does good work for Dior Homme.  I insulted Raf Simons by saying what every fashion forward designer has been saying since he took over.  A creative director should be creative, if he can’t be he should give the job to someone capable of real innovation.”

“I don’t know how I didn’t see it, you’re gunning for his job.”

Ridge grunted in distaste.  “I’m not gunning for anything.  I called it like I saw it.  You made that dress what it was, not every woman could do that.”

Katie scrutinized her man carefully, noting how he looked especially smug in the moment.  “You’re changing the story.”

“It could do with changing.  What’s more innocuous than a byline about a respected CEO who can make bad clothes look good?”

“Dior’s decent.”

“Not getting into that with you.”

“In your professional opinion, how did I look?”  Katie lifted her feet onto the couch to sit them in his lap.  He took his cue ably and began giving her the most delightful foot rub.  _Practically perfect._ She was still waiting for the other shoe to drop most days.

“You’re beautiful when you wake up in the morning; a high-priced garbage bag can’t do much damage on that front.”

“Talk about your backhanded compliments.”

“I complimented _you_ , but that glad rag is a better fit for last week’s garbage than the CEO of a Fortune 500 company.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”

“That’s a bold stance to take when you’re leaving town for a week. A girl could find a guy who likes her in glad bags in that amount of time.”

He shrugged.  Fashion Week was the elephant in any room he’d been in for the past month.  He likely would have been more diplomatic at the CQ launch if he hadn’t been preoccupied with Lincoln Center.

“I don’t care whose clothes you wear as long as I get to keep coming home to you.”

He ground his knuckle deep into a knot beside the ball of her foot.

She moaned in abandon as the painful tension in her muscles eased.

“I’ve gotta hand it to you, that was a pretty good save.”

“I do my best.”  He lifted her foot to kiss the knob of her ankle.

Katie swung her legs down to crawl along to sofa to Ridge’s lap.  “I’m not going to get see your best for days.  You’d better give me something to remember you by.”

He slipped his arms under her and lifted her clear off the couch to carry her to the bedroom.  “I’ll give you something to remember me by, all right…”

Ridge was late for his flight the next morning and Katie was late for work.  Both had a smile on their face.

…

A few days later, Katie received a stiff brown envelope from a solemn process server on arriving home from the office.  Since Donna had Will for the night, she had opted to leave early for a mental health evening.  She hadn’t anticipated being served.  _Who’s suing me?_   She hadn’t made any new enemies that she knew of.

Once she’d stowed her purse and shoes, Katie opened the envelope and the ground might as well have opened underneath her for all that she could barely stand.  _Bill is trying to take my son._   She and her ex-husband had discussed altering Will’s custody arrangement earlier in the year; however, talks had broken down once Katie and Ridge went public with their relationship.  _Ridge Forrester and Bill Spencer are mortal enemies, damn the consequences._

It had become a race to the bottom to see who was more eager to see Ridge and Katie fail, the press or their exes.

Ridge was her first call and her third; she called her lawyer in between, only to get his voicemail.  Ridge answered on her second attempt, which drove her out of her mind as she paced her living room, but she couldn’t blame him.  He had gone to New York Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week to show Defiant for Spring 2015. That’s where his head was.  Katie just really needed his head to be with her now.

“Please answer,” she chanted to herself quietly, suppressing her anxiety before it could become a full-blown panic attack.  She needed her composure to see her through.  Katie was enraged at her sister and her ex-husband for this latest stunt, but she couldn’t allow them to see the rage.  That rage would be her pressure valve; it was for her alone, not the public, not the courts, herself.

Ridge returned her call close to midnight and she couldn’t help noting his obvious exhaustion.

“What happened?”

“They’re trying to take Will from me.  And the company, _again,_ I guess, but I don’t care as much about that.  What is wrong with them?  If it’s not one thing, it’s something else. I just want some peace.”

“You’re letting them get under your skin.  You can’t do that.”

“How am I supposed to stop?  I was _married_ to him.  She’s my _sister._   These two people are uniquely qualified to drive me out of my mind.  They’ve already done it once.”

“And I’m not going to let them do it again, but I need your help.  You can’t humor them, you can’t even appear to be listening.  Right now, they’re playing mind games.  They want to provoke us into a response and we can’t let them win.  We’ll never have any peace if they do.”

“I guess I don’t know why I care so much.  Why does it matter what they do?”

“Because we love them, Katie, and we’d like to think they love us enough not to target us with their anger and frustration.  We want them to understand, but let’s look who we’re talking about here.”

Katie laughed.  “You’re right.  I wish you weren’t, but you’re right.  Brooke is all about vengeance when she feels she’s been wronged and Bill isn’t exactly a paragon of forgive and forget.  This is what I signed on for.”

Ridge breathed deeply and sighed.  “It doesn’t have to be like that.  You can back out of this right now and not have to face up to their antics.”

“I should give up a man who makes me feel the way you do to keep my felonious ex-husband and erstwhile sister from raining hell down on me for daring to be happy?  I’ve done that.  I’ve lied to myself about how I was feeling.  I’ve been _miserable._ ”  Katie wished he was home to hold her hand.  He made her feel invincible.  “I don’t want to be miserable anymore.”

“I don’t want to be miserable either; together, we won’t be.  That’s something Brooke and Bill will just have to get used to.”

“So what? We just wait out their temper tantrums and hope nobody gets hurt too badly in the meantime?”

“We do our best to limit the damage and, yeah, we hold on with all we’ve got to what we love.  Eventually, they have to see that we’re not going give it all up for them.”

“But if it costs me _Will_ …I cannot lose him.”

“And you won’t. I’m not gonna let that happen.”

“That might be out of your control.  Bill is not to be trifled with.  Brooke may have turned him into a joke, but Ridge, my ex-husband is a dangerous man to cross.  People have died crossing him.”

“Has he threatened you?”

“No, but he could threaten someone else. Say, a family court judge who thought I was a shoe-in for sole custody.”

“I won’t let him hurt our family. Not you, not me, and not our boys.  We’re in this together. Have been for months.”

Katie massage her temples to soothe the migraine brewing between them.  “I should give my attorney another call.”

“And I’ll call mine.  I’m not playing this game with Brooke anymore.  We can’t rely on everyone involved to act in good faith, so we need to put everything in writing.  It’s better this way.”

Katie blotted her face with Kleenex.  “I was sure she destroyed those papers.  I gave her the benefit of the doubt.”  She covered her face though she was alone, embarrassed.  “Go ahead, you can call me an idiot.  I was one for giving her that much slack.  I really thought she was done with the underhanded planning after I called her out for the media stunt.”

“You love her.  We offer chances on top of chances when we love people.  They don’t always deserve that much trust.”

Katie buried her face in her hands.

“She can’t hurt me at Spencer.  The most recent Board vote negates that aspect of the settlement papers if they’re found valid in court.  The custody section is another matter.”

“Bill defrauded you.”

“Did he, really?  I knew what he was like when I married him.  If I didn’t, I figured it out in a heartbeat.  He proved to me time and again that he could not be trusted to do the _decent_ thing.  I didn’t want a hero or a white knight, I just wanted somebody decent who saw me and who wanted to _stay._   I wanted that for my son.”

“Which he deserves. Bill could, I suppose, become that man in time.  He’s not now.”

“You don’t say.”

…

Katie rang Karen after she had spoken to her attorney.

“I have news.”

“You’re pregnant.”

“What? No!  No, no babies on board at present.  That’s not the news.”

Karen threw something aside that sounded like paper.  “Remind me to stop reading our competitors’ trash.  We regularly dwarf their profits for a reason.”

“I’ll do that.”

“What’s happened?  Is my brother scheming to steal my company from me again?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him, but no—well, not exactly.”

“If you’d like to try that again with more nouns and verbs and a complete idea…”

“Did I tell you about Bill trying to reconcile with me late last year?”

“I heard rumors, but when you stayed in charge and he continued his relentless pursuit of Brooke Logan, I presumed the grapevine was mistaken.”

“They weren’t.  He tried it—twice.”

“I’m positive you were still in love with him when I put you up for CEO.  Love and hate can become indistinguishable, but I knew that much.”

“It was after he nearly died on a free-climbing trip.  I told him not to go because I had this terrible feeling that he wouldn’t make it back.  I hated him and I loved him, and I didn’t want him dead.”

“He has that effect on women.”

“He does.  Anyway, he came back from his trip swearing he was a changed man, and he ended his relationship with Brooke and rushed back to me.  He swore that he was sorry, that he wanted to put our family back together for Will.”

“He lied.”  Karen’s tone had become unreadable.

“He lied.”  Katie sniffed, for a second overcome by the sense of betrayal.  She had loved him, then.  That act had been the final proof that her love was no longer in any sense returned.  “He gave me one night.  He pretended make plans to move back in, to raise Will together.  He made…he took me to bed.  He let me think I could have it all back, but only if I signed papers relinquishing my 1% and granting him partial custody of Will.”

“He will never work in this company again.  He is never to set foot in any building owned by Spencer Publications.”

“I signed the papers, Karen.  I gave him everything, and it was only Brooke stealing the papers from him that kept him from having it.”

“She saved the day.  Will wonders never cease?”

“I never doubted that she must have destroyed those papers.  He hurt her, too, by dumping her to pretend to reunite with me.  She was angry and she promised that she’d never hurt me again.”

“His perfect lying match.”  Spencers were as adept at grudge-holding as they were at plotting.

“He wants Spencer and he wants Will and I don’t know where to turn next.”

“He’s out of luck at Spencer. The vote is binding.  Hire a good attorney to force him to present the papers in a court of law, and then ram them down his throat.  I don’t pretend to know the ins and outs of the legal system, but I do know fraud.  My brother acted in bad faith and had you sign under false pretenses.  I don’t want to Bill in prison—Caro would never forgive me—but he has to pay.  Make him pay, Katie.  You have the power to do that as no one can.  Remind him who’s he messing with and why you of all people were worthy of becoming Katie Spencer in the first place.”

“He’ll bring the papers before the Board.”

“He can bring them up before the Pope for all I care.  Should the board members so much as breathe in support of kowtowing to him, they’ll have me to contend with.  He’s opened us up to the mother of all lawsuits, which I will _not_ brook.  No pun intended.”

Katie covered her mouth to stifle a hysterical giggle.

“I don’t have any control over what my brother does outside of this company.  I can’t force him to be a better significant other or father.  All that said, I want you to know how sorry I am for dragging you into this.  You could have taken a very large chunk of our family fortune and moved to Laguna and never seen hide nor hair of my Neanderthal brother again, if I hadn’t drafted you into this.”

“I chose this fight.  I’m still fighting.  This is what happens when I take a hit.  I’m reeling; I’ll reel and get my equilibrium back.  Things have to settle.  We can’t go on this way.”

“You have my support.”

“Thank you.”


	21. September, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Katie suffers absolutely no fools, and Ridge backs her play.

Ridge ducked out of NYC Fashion Week two days early to join Katie at her meeting with Bill. He’d offered his office at Forrester as neutral territory for the gathering.  Once Katie realized that Brooke had invited herself along, she was more than glad for the backup.

. **..**

Ridge dragged a hand through his hair in obvious frustration.

“Don’t do this, Brooke. This is over. We’re over.  I told you that. I don’t want to go nuclear on you, but I will if you insist on helping Bill attack Katie over Will.”

“You love me,” she asserted confidently.  Bill grunted into his glass as he watched the proceedings much as Katie did: as a spectator.  _How did we get on this subject in the first place?_

“I do, but I’m not lying when I say stunts like this make me love you less.”

“I just don’t understand what changed.  We were going to be happy.”

He gestured between them.  “I changed, you didn’t.  You see how that means we don’t fit?”

“I _don’t_ see how it means you fit with Katie.  _She’s_ my sister.”

Katie did her sister the courtesy of not pointing out the irony.  She was making herself scarce in this argument for the time being.

“Katie and I have been a couple for months.  We make each other happy.  Our sons are happy. What else do you want?”

“This is revenge. I told Katie, this beneath her.  You’re both angry and disappointed in me, but this isn’t the way to hurt me.”

Katie’s sniped at her nails, “Because god forbid anybody’s happiness not be reliant on you, Brooke.”

Brooke cut her a burning look in response, which Katie accepted with admittedly smug grace.

“Logan, my relationship with Katie isn’t about you.  Yes, you’re part of what brought us together; but, no, you’re not what’s kept us this way.  She and I are a lot alike.”

“That’s such crap. I should know.”

“I changed.  Katie knows why and she understands.”

“ _I_ don’t understand.”

“You don’t have to.  I don’t explain myself to you.”

“After all the months I spent doing that very thing just to get you to stay in the same room with me, you can’t do me the courtesy of explaining?”

“I don’t wanna lie to you.  If I try to tell you, I’ll lie.  Lies are all that’s left between us.”

“I don’t know if I can accept that.”

“You don’t have a choice.”

“You heard him, Brooke. He chooses me.  He has chosen me for months.  Do yourself a favor and let him go.”

Brooke’s answering look was almost pitying.

“Katie, you don’t understand.  Ridge and I, we have history.”

Katie had had more than enough of Brooke’s constantly invoking the thirty years of turmoil she and Ridge shared.

“We all know that, Brooke. Everybody knows.  Ridge and _I_ have months of friendship.  We have shared pain and love, and mutual respect.  I can’t measure up to thirty years, but I recognize the value of what we do have.  I won’t give him up to satisfy your ego.”

“ _My_ ego?  We wouldn’t be here if you’d give Bill his company back and agree to equal custody of Will.”

 _Now we’re getting down to it._   Bill put down his scotch and Katie got ready to stand her ground.

“First of all, Bill doesn’t have a place to live.  My son isn’t living out of a suitcase, he needs structure and stability.  It’s my responsibility to make sure Will feels secure and Bill isn’t in a place where he can do that.  Until that changes, I’m not agreeing to shared custody.  As for Spencer Publications, I was appointed to the CEO position by Karen, _your_ sister,” she directed at Bill.  “My appointment was re-affirmed in a vote by the Board of Directors last month.  I could sign over my 1% and nothing would change because you’re not a majority owner and the Board’s decision is binding.  Your huffing and puffing is a waste of energy, and that goes for both of you.”

“That’s not the most important thing,” Brooke sing-songed in a voice that promised inanity and cruelty in equal measure.

Even Ridge rolled his eyes.  “Enlighten us, Logan. Go ahead.”

Brooke squinted at Ridge before turning her penetrating gaze onto Katie.

“Ridge could die, Katie.”  Katie didn’t care how Brooke had found out, she saw red.

“Shut. _Up_.”  Only Ridge’s restraining arm kept her from slapping Brooke across her falsely _earnest_ face.

“He could and it would destroy you.  You’re not that strong.”

Katie’s voice cracked.  “You are _hateful_ to say that to me.  You’d rather he was dead than alive with me.”

Ridge came up behind her, rubbing her shoulders.  “She didn’t mean that.”

She whipped around to face him.  “She’s wishing you dead and you’re defending her.”

“Not defending her, protecting you.  Remember what I said.”  _She wants under my skin. Well, I’ll show her how deep she got._

Katie turned back to her sister.  “You’re worried about me? _Why? Because of my health? Because of my weak little heart? That’s Stormie’s heart, Brooke. Remember him? The pillar of our family? I have_ his _heart, and I have Ridge’s heart, too, so you don’t have to worry about me_.  I’ll be just fine.  Ridge will be fine.  We’ll take care of each other.”

 “Katie’s right.  Let me worry about my health. If it becomes a matter for RJ, I’ll discuss it with you. Otherwise, I want you to stay out of it.”

Bill stepped up to Ridge.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve talking to Brooke like that, given the way you’ve treated her.”

“It speaks,” Ridge muttered under his breath.

Bill smirked and it was an inch from being an unuttered threat. “Say something else.”

Ridge deigned to shift his gaze from Brooke to Bill.

“The only reason I’m giving you the time of day is ‘cause Katie asked.  I would do anything for her or Will.  You don’t matter.”

Bill stood wide, squaring up against Ridge.

“I appreciate the hearty welcome, Forrester. Where’s my son?”

“Safe and happy in the Forrester childcare center with RJ.  What, did you think we’d leave him in the car?”

“Ridge,” Katie chided.

“Sorry.  You can discuss anything you like. I’ll work.”  Ridge took out his sketchpad and got to work on a new sketch for the Defiant executives line at his desk.

“We can’t even talk alone.  You gotta be kidding me.  Katie, tell this piece of work to let us have the room.”

“Not a chance. One, this is his office, which he has so kindly loaned to us for the afternoon.  Two, I want him here, just like you wanted Brooke involved.   We’re all adults and we’ve all been divorced; we know how nasty this can get.  All of us here together keeps everybody honest.”  _And alive._   Katie wasn’t discounting crimes of passion at this juncture.

“All right, fine.  Bottom line is, I want more time with Will.”

“You see Will multiple times per week.”

“It’s not enough.”

“That’s what you agreed to.”

“I changed my mind.”

Katie raised a shoulder.  “Too damn bad.  You signed the papers. I didn’t lie to you—unlike you who lied right to my face.”

“How long until you get past that?”

“Likely never, so get used to it.”

“You cannot use Will to punish me.”

“Bill’s right, Katie. It’s wrong.”

Katie shot her sister a quelling look.  Brooke’s opinion on morality was laughable at best, unrequired at the very least.

“I don’t care enough to go out of my way to punish you.  These are the terms you agreed to and I am adhering to the terms of our custody agreement.  You seem to have difficulty doing the same.”

“Because they’re ridiculous and punitive and you can’t do this to me.  It’s bad enough you took my company, now you’re trying to take my son.”

“You had him two days ago despite trying, once again, to file those fraudulent papers in family court.  You’re treading a fine line between merely being hateful and being criminal in a way that is punishable by law.  Take another inch and I’ll take steps to formally stop you.”

“You’d sue me?”

“I could do much worse than that.  I could put in a call to the District Attorney of Los Angeles and see how he feels about attempted murder.”

Bill laughed his disbelief.

“You doubt me?  I wouldn’t.”

“Katie!”

“Brooke, you’re here as a courtesy to Bill.  Why don’t you follow Ridge’s example and make good use of your time by _shutting up_?”

“Don’t speak to her like that.”

“I’ll talk to my sister however I feel she deserves.  I’ve shown more kindness than her presence warrants under the circumstances and you know it, _but_ I digress.  You’ve heard my terms.  I am not in the least opposed to Will seeing you more.  I believe you love him and want what’s best for him.  What you and I disagree on is what is best.”

“We’re both his parents, we should be making these decisions together.”

“When you consented to my taking full custody of Will, you gave me the power to make that decision all but unilaterally.  This conversation is a courtesy.”

“That’s unacceptable.”

“If you’d like to see Will more often, talk to Justin, submit an amendment to the courts and we’ll see what happens.  If a judge agrees, you’ve gone to all this trouble for nothing.”

“That simple?”

“That simple.  I won’t even contest the verdict, provided it’s reasonable.”  Katie approached her ex-husband confidently.  “But let me make something plain.  This maneuver you and Brooke tried to pull will never happen again. Or I will play the mother of all trump cards against you, whatever the consequences, because my loyalty is not to you or any imaginary family you and I might have built.  My first and _final_ concern is for my son, and that is where it will forever lie.”

Katie brushed her hair back over her shoulder.  “We’re done here.”

“You don’t get to decide that, _Katie._ ”

“I am _exactly_ who gets to make that call.  You know as well as I do that if we went to the mat, you’d lose an outright custody battle—money talks but facts don’t lie.  Don’t make this uglier than it already is.”

“You’ll let me see him more?”

“That’s what I said.  Stop freeloading off of Liam, find yourself a permanent residence, and I will.  You’re an adult, Bill. Time to act your age.”

Bill inclined his chin, saying nothing to the pointed jab.  “That it?”

“If I find out you’re badmouthing me to or in proximity of my child, we will go to court and you’re going to realize how much of your continued good fortune has been grace on my part.”

“Ridge must have built you a spine. Who knew the dressmaker had it in him?”

“I did.  The real question, though, is what’s happened to yours?  Letting Brooke make all your bold moves?  Is that the Dollar Bill that took the publishing world by its throat?  Where’s he gone?  I thought love was meant to bring out the best in you.”  She clicked her tongue.  “Maybe for some of us.”

Bill narrowed his eyes.

Katie smiled serenely.  She knew what it was like to be beaten, but even better she now knew how it felt to win.

The door to Ridge’s office opened suddenly to admit a shocked Quinn Fuller.

“Something tells me this isn’t the staff meeting.”  Her tone wasn’t entirely convincing.  _We have an eavesdropper._

“No,” Ridge offered from the opposite side of his tablet.

“Just me trying to do right by my son,” Bill commented, droll.

Quinn’s quirked a brow.

“We both are,” Brooke remarked, taking Bill’s hand.  _Jockeying for position already, Brooke?_   Katie almost had sympathy for her.

Meanwhile, Quinn’s look of revulsion was telling.

“The two of you shouldn’t have custody of an immature goldfish,” she opined, “not that anybody asked me. I’ll show myself out.”

The jewelry designer swung the door shut behind her, leaving the four of them in a state of bemused puzzlement.

“On that bizarre note, I’m going to get Will from the daycare center.  Bill, if you’d like, you can take him for the night.”

“I’d like that.”  His tone was light, if grudgingly so.

“He needs to be home for his party tomorrow afternoon.”  Her baby was turning two.

“I have a meeting at noon.  Maybe I can bring him by after breakfast.”

“I’ll be home.”

“I’ll go with you.”

Katie didn’t protest.  Bill opened the door to Ridge’s office and she allowed him the belated chivalry.  It was a joke well-told. 

Katie and Bill brought Will up to say goodbye to Brooke and Ridge before Bill headed out to get him strapped into the car.  Her son wriggled gamely when Ridge tickled his belly and squealed into Brooke’s raspberry against his cheek.  Her son was lucky to be so loved by so many.  For all their interpersonal squabbling, they had that love in common.

When Katie returned from saying her second goodbye to Will, she heard a duo of murmuring voices inside Ridge’s office.  She stopped short at the sound of her name.

“If you keep taking potshots at Katie, you’re going to find yourself down a sister.  She stayed loyal to you out of habit.  How long do you expect that to last when she realizes there are all sorts of people who are loyal to her, not because of blood relation but because she’s just a good person?”

“We’re sisters, Ridge.”

“That’s not how you’re acting.  You treat her like an enemy enough, you’ll make one of out of her.  Coming after her job was bad. This? Logan— _Brooke_ , you had no business putting yourself in the middle of this.”

“Don’t stand there all high and mighty like you weren’t right there in the mud with me. What ‘business’ is it of yours who has custody of Will?”

“It isn’t.  I offered my opinion, Katie welcomed it.  I don’t dictate where Will goes and doesn’t or who with. Katie does because she’s his mom.  What _is_ my business is who has custody of our son.  Remember him, the one you swear devotion to and yet you keep shipping off to boarding school?”

“He wanted to go, he’s talked to us about this.”

“Not two years ago. Not last year. This year, yeah, he copped to that, but more than he wanted to go, he wanted to be close to us.  He’s not going back to Ojai in the spring.  This term wasn’t a test, it’s for keeps.”

“That isn’t your decision to make.”

“Unless you want to go to court and have a judge _make_ it my decision, it is.”

“Is this really how it’s going to be, you trading me in for Katie, letting her raise our son? _Our_ son, Ridge, the child we dreamed about.”

“We did dream about him and we love him.  You’ll always be his mom and you’re always going to be part of his life—I’m not throwing up roadblocks between you two.  I am, however, taking steps to protect him from the worst of you, and protect Katie and Will, for that matter.  When you do things like this, you show me you can’t be trusted to act in good faith when your feelings are hurt.  Bill brings that out in you.”

“It’s not Bill.  You bring out the worst in me.”

“I see it and I don’t like it.  That’s one reason I’ll never come back to you.  Because if this is you at your worst because of me, what do you turn me into?”

“And I suppose Katie _inspires_ you.”

“Like a chorus of Greek muses whispering my ear.”

“I used to inspire you.”

“I used to be in love with you.  Love and affection feed my creativity.  This warring between you and me and Katie and Bill doesn’t do anything for me.  Everybody gets their fingers trampled on, nobody can move forward.  Let’s put a stop to this while there’s time to keep from getting hurt.”

“I’m already hurt.”

“But Katie got the scars.  I love ‘em all, they’re part of her; that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t give my skin to keep her from coming to harm again.  This ends now.  _I’m_ ending it.  Play any dirtier, you and I are going to have big problems.”

Katie’s instincts as a sister were at war with her feelings as a lover.  She wanted to intervene, to tell Ridge to let this one go, but how many times had Katie let things go and suffered as a result.  _If he can’t stop her, she cannot be stopped._

She left Ridge to his conversation with Brooke.  Opting to wait them out, Katie went to the conference room for solitude, but she found her nephew instead.

“Rick, hi.”

He looked up from mockup he was examined and smiled in greeting.  “Aunt Katie. I didn’t know you were here.”

“Visiting Ridge.  We’re just about to leave, actually. He’s just got a couple of loose ends to tie up.”  An easier story than the truth.  Katie was in favor of what was easier for the moment.

“Sure he does.”  She got a distinct feeling that Rick didn’t buy her explanation.

“So, how is the summer line coming along?”

“Caroline says it’s nearly done.  She’s already getting a jump on fall/winter 2015.”

“That’s wonderful.  You must be very proud.” 

“I am.”

“So am I.  Her parents are over the moon to see her this happy.” Katie was proud of both of them. They’d built a happy home and couldn’t be more in love; they were at the top of their field.  It couldn’t have all been luck.

Rick knocked on the conference table absently.  “I suppose we can expect to see you at Forrester more often now that you and Ridge are serious about each other.”

Katie laced her fingers together in front of her.  “No more than ever.  This was an unusual event.  I’m usually too busy to stray far from the office unless business calls for it.”

“Sure.”  His smile had grown wan, even slightly mocking if Katie wasn’t reading more into it than she should have.

“You must be excited about the baby.”

His expression softened, growing more genuine with the change of topic.  “I’m gonna be a dad again.  I wasn’t convinced I’d get a shot at that and now I am.”

“Scary, isn’t it?”

“That’s an understatement.”

“You’ll be a great dad, I know it.”

“I’ll do the best I can.”

“That’s all any parent can do.  Love your child, give them the benefit of your experience and hope nobody tries to hurt them in a way you can’t prevent.”

“What about the other way around?  What do you do if you’re a child trying to protect your parent from other people’s mistakes?  What’re the rules for that?”

Katie had foreseen such a conversation from their encounter in June, yet had hoped to avoid it altogether.  _This is not my day._

“Why don’t you say what’s on your mind, Rick?  You’re obviously champing at the bit.”

“He’s selfish and he’ll let you down just as he let my mother down.”

“That could happen.  I’m choosing to believe it won’t.  I have to believe that; otherwise, there’s no point in trying.”

“This isn’t Aladdin, Aunt Katie, wishing won’t make him faithful.”

“I would tread very carefully when discussing fidelity if I were you.  I’ll go one step further, discussing your mother and fidelity with me is probably unwise.  I’d recommend another tac.”

“Fine.  You’re a businesswoman, let’s talk business.  He cannot be trusted to lead this company forward if he can’t even confide in us about his health.  You have to see that.”

“Ridge’s health is nobody’s business but his.”

“That’s not how businesses work.  I thought you’d be smart enough to know that.”

Katie was compiling a list of the people who cast aspersions on her intelligence due to her association with Ridge.  She hadn’t decided just what she would do with that list yet, but someday she would.

“My intelligence is not in question, nor is Ridge’s suitability as head of this company going forward.”

“I highly doubt my father will see it that way.”

“If Eric decides that Ridge’s health makes him an unsuitable president, that’s his loss and Forrester’s.  That’s also a decision he needs to come to on his own.”

“If my father asks for my advice, I’m duty-bound to provide it.”

“ ‘Duty-bound’? That’s laying it on pretty thick.  You would dance on Ridge’s deathbed to keep the upper hand.  This is your chance to win fair and square. I suggest you take it.”

“I don’t think you have any business interfering with the conduct of business at this company given your most recent reputation.”

“Considering how your mother, a one-eighth shareholder, and the CEO of Forrester were determined to interfere not only in my relationship but in my business, I think I’m perfectly within my right to voice an opinion.”

Rick clasped his hands behind him.  He was obstinate from his gelled hair to his shined shoes.  _Every inch Brooke’s prince._   Katie was no less guilty of spoiling the boy he’d been or coddling the man he’d grown into.  They were all a little guilty of his shortcomings, good and bad.

“You’re my nephew and I love you, I do, but if you _think_ about using Ridge’s health to oust him from Forrester, _his mother’s company_ and your father’s,  I’ll help him ensure you become so toxic that you’re not allowed on the same continent as the home office.  Play fair or don’t play.”

“You’re picking the guy that always breaks my mother’s heart over your own flesh and blood.”

“I’m choosing the person who stood by me when no one else did, not even you.”

“You wouldn’t do it.  When it comes down to it, you don’t have the guts.  You couldn’t stand the blowback.”

_Don’t test me, Eric Junior.  Greater men have tried and stumbled._

“I run one of the world’s foremost media conglomerates.  I have the power to _total_ Forrester with one phone call.  I wouldn’t even have to get out bed.  This company wouldn’t be able to operate as a high-end dry cleaners by the time I was done.  Don’t forget, there isn’t a scandal that has rocked this company that I don’t know about in grave detail.  Do not make your mother’s mistake by underestimating me or you will live with the consequences.  Do we have an understanding here?”

“Getting there.”  His firm jaw twitched his agitation.

Katie might well have mourned the loss of this bond if she believed it had for one moment meant as much to him as it did to her.

“Will’s birthday party is tomorrow.  Should I expect you and Caroline?”

“I’ll be working late, but she should be coming.”

“Good. I look forward to seeing her.”

“She’s said the same.”

Katie was turning to go when her nephew offered this parting shot:

“He shouldn’t need you to fight his battles for him.”

“I don’t fight his battles.  He has to win this on his own; that’s how he likes it. Only I plan to ensure that the fight is just.  Is that any less than Caroline would do for you?”

“We’re a team.”

“So are we.”

Katie left him to consider her words as carefully as he dared.  Considering who his mother was, she expected him not to listen as carefully as he should.

On returning to Ridge’s office, Katie found him alone staring at a blank page.

“All done?”

He nodded and put the tablet away.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m good for much else today.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.   You’re always good for a hug.”

“You got me. I think I can pull that off. Come here.”  He beckoned her into arms and Katie settled into his embrace, exhaling for what felt like the first time in days.

“Tell me this is finally over.”

He rubbed his hands down her back.  “It’s over.  Let’s get on with the rest of our lives.”

“Until the next catastrophe,” she quipped fatalistically.

“As far as dress rehearsals, I don’t think it went too badly.”

“You know,” she confessed, snuggling closer, “me neither.”


	22. September, Pt. III

Kate stepped aside to let Hope and Wyatt into her house the next day.  “Welcome to the party.”

“Thanks for inviting me.”

“You’re Will’s brother, of course I’d invite you.  Please, make yourself at home.”  Spotting the box wrapped in puppy-checkered paper, she directed him to the kitchen.  “Gifts go in the kitchen.  There’s punch. Help yourselves.”

“Thanks.”

Hope and Wyatt trooped off, cooing behind the toddlers waddling about the house in their primary-colored rompers and foil birthday hats.

Donna walked up juggling a cup of cherry punch for each of them.  They were on a ginger path to mending their relationship now that Katie had declared discussion of her romance with Ridge verboten.  Katie and Ridge were not up for negotiation.  Less so with each new day.

After Katie briefly made the rounds of the other parents from Will’s working moms playgroup, she and Donna took a breather near the fireplace.

“Liam and Wyatt at the same party?”

Katie lifted her free hand in disavowal.  “They’re both Will’s brothers, I couldn’t  _not_  invite either of them.  Think of it as a peace offering.”  She checked her watch.  “Bill should be here soon.” Bill had dropped Will off after breakfast, as promised.

“Odds on whether he’ll bring Quinn or Brooke?”

“It’s a nightmare, right? But it’s not my nightmare anymore, so I don’t care. As long as they don’t ruin Will’s party, he can bring the Duchess of Cambridge if he can get her to answer his calls.”

Hope was the one to open the door on Bill arrival an hour into the party.  Katie was enjoying a reprieve from her hosting duties on the couch.

“Quinn Fuller  _and_  Brooke,” Katie exclaimed, grabbing Donna’s leg and pointing.

Donna blanched.  Katie had told her about her encounter with Bill and Quinn in August.

“What do we do?  We should tell her, shouldn’t we?”

Katie necked her punch, wishing it were wine. “I’ve tried, but she isn’t listening to me anymore.  You tell her.”

“I should tell her now, right? Sooner is better.  Just rip the Band-Aid right off.” Donna grabbed Katie’s arm in a vice grip. “Give me another idea, Katie.  This is a  _terrible_  idea, Katie.”

“Take her out by the driveway and tell her.  Give her a chance to leave before they can make a scene.”

“Maybe she won’t mind,” Donna posited, her smile a rictus of forced optimism.

“Maybe she won’t mind?  Donna…”

Her older sister shut her eyes. “What am I thinking, of course she’ll mind! Not minding is not Brooke.”

The two younger Logan sisters trepidatiously watched the guests putter around Katie’s house in overwhelmed camaraderie.

Katie made to stand. “I should mingle.”

“What about Will?”

“Liam is looking after him and the other kids from group.  Everyone’s talking.  The games don’t get under way for another half an hour. The magician is scheduled for a half-hour after that.  This party should be over in two hours.”  Katie was fervently counting the seconds.

“That’s not too bad,” Donna reassured her and, from the pinched expression she was assuming, herself.  Katie desperately wished Ridge would hurry back from his afternoon conference call with Fabrice in New York.

“We’re rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.  My son’s second birthday is going to be Chernobyl but with more cake.”  Katie resolved to defuse this situation before it imploded.  “Okay, here’s the plan.  I’ll take Quinn and you take Brooke.”

“Why do you get Quinn?”

“Because we have Bill in common and not long ago you wanted to kill her.”

“I didn’t want to kill her.”

Katie tapped her toe until Donna relented.

“Maim, not kill. Just so Eric wouldn’t look at her twice.”

“Just an FYI, Eric isn’t looking at her anymore.  He’s only got eyes for you.”

Donna fretted, “We both know that’s not true.”

Katie couldn’t lie to her.  “One hurdle at a time, Donna.”

 

Katie approached Quinn with punch, which the women took graciously enough. They hadn’t had reason enough to butt heads for things to be awkward between them. Well, aside for them having an ex in common and Katie was making it a point not to hold poor taste in men against anybody else these days. Glass houses.

“You have a lovely home.”

“Thank you. It used to be Ridge’s. Small world.” Never had Katie imagined that Ridge would make this house his home again, but here they were.

“The smallest.”

“Speaking of slightly unbelievable coincidences…You came with Bill and Brooke.  That seems like it must have been an interesting car ride.”

“It was illuminating,” Quinn quipped, sipping her drink.  Quinn Fuller had the gift for understatement and the face of a stage actress; her expression told the tale. Lingering incredulity. Not a little pain. Bitterness. Watching Bill and Brooke work the room like a king and queen with no idea their kingdom was set to burn.

“I don’t envy you being in love with him.”

Quinn froze in place, her blue eyes the flashing silver dollars, for once caught out instead of in on the joke. “I’m not.”

“You’re doing a savvy impression of someone who is.  I guess you could say I’m an expert.”

Quinn looked away from the couple.  “I don’t know what I’m doing with him. He treated me like I was easy when we were younger. That’s still how he treats me. There’s just something about him.”

“If he wants you, there must be something about you he can’t resist, which means there’s something about you somebody else wouldn’t be able to resist.”

“Good advice.”

“I’m the last person to be talking another woman down from the Dollar Bill ledge of ruining your life and your self-esteem. He totaled mine. I let him. The difference between me and most women who get caught in his web is that I made him regret it. I make him regret it every day and I will never as long as he reminds me how little he thought of me.”

Quinn raised an eyebrow.  “You’re harder than I thought.”

“Life will do that to you. I don’t have to tell you that, do I?”

Quinn swallowed, lips pinched.  “Some part of me thinks if I can win him over it will be worth it. I can leave him like he left me.” She scoffed at herself. “It’s idiotic, I know that.”

“Feelings and logic don’t really go together. Throw in a dash of wounded ego and you’ll find yourself the fool in any scenario. Just remember, if you keep fighting a fool, eventually onlookers won’t know the difference.” Her piece said, Katie left Quinn to her contemplations. She wanted no further part in this. Her son was waiting. It was time for the party games to begin.

 

 

A few hours later than planned, Ridge stepped out of the kitchen into the middle of Quinn and Brooke’s confrontation.  He ducked behind Bill to edge out the crowd and reach Katie.  There wasn’t time enough for greetings before the fur flew anew.

Bill stepped between the two women, hands raised.

“Ladies, let’s keep cool.  It’s just a little misunderstanding, all right.  Brooke, you know I’m in love with you.  I’ve been all about you for months.  Quinn doesn’t mean anything.  She was just something to pass the time.”

Quinn narrowed her eyes dangerously. Katie swore under her breath, grabbing Ridge to pull him farther from the fray toward the verandah. This wasn’t going to be pretty. “You certainly passed a lot of time with me, Bill.”

“Is that true?”  Brooke pushed at his shoulder.  “Bill, is that true?  You and Quinn have been having an affair?”

“ ‘Affair’ is a loaded word.  I prefer ‘fling.’”

Ridge groaned and covered his face. He could have guessed this was how it would all end.

“So do I,” Quinn acquiesced.  “We had a fling, nothing more or less.”

Brooke glared between the two who were busy glaring heatedly at each other. The air crackled with the chemistry between them. Katie wondered if Brooke wasn’t half as angry as she was because she could see it.

“You didn’t think this fling was something I should know about?”

Bill put a hand in his pocket, chin raised, legs apart. He was about to dig in his heels.  “Well, no.  Seeing as you and I weren’t together when she and I…got it together, I don’t think it should matter.”

Brooke rocked back on her heels. Her jaw dropped.  “No?  All your declarations of loyalty were just convenient lies?”

“We weren’t together!”

She slapped his chest. “ _You_ claimed you wanted us to be.”

Quinn took a step back to let them at each other. A smirk played at the corner of her mouth. One looked much less foolish when they stopped talking.

“I did, Brooke!  I want that. I want us.”

“So what was Quinn?”

“A mistake.”

Quinn scoffed, crossing her arms. “Can’t say I haven’t heard that from you before.”

Katie determined that now was the time to intervene before the hostilities kicked up again. Ridge squeezed her hand for luck. “Oh… _kay_ , it’s time for the birthday boy to get some sleep.”  Never mind that it was five in the afternoon.  Katie wanted this scene and every one of its gawking spectators out of her house.  “Thank you for coming, drive carefully.  I’ll see you all later.  Donna, Liam, Wyatt, Hope, please help everyone find their coats.”

 

Katie faced a wrecked but empty house with only Ridge for company once she’d seen all the guests on their way.  Will was already down for an impromptu nap, all the excitement from the party having worn him out. He wasn’t the only one. Katie decided she’d clean tomorrow. Better yet, she’d call the cleaning service in the morning and let somebody else worry about the red solo cups floating in her pool. She needed a nap after _that_ melodrama staged in her very own living room.

 “That was—that was about what I expected.” Ridge met her with a glass of white wine, which she took gratefully.

“Welcome back to the family where dysfunction is our middle name.”

“And your married name,” he chimed in.

“My former one, thankfully.  I have higher hopes for the next one I take on.”

Ridge pulled her to his side as the crossed the living room to reach the couch.

“What’s that again?  Refresh my memory.”

She cuddled up to his side. “It sounds like ‘forest.’  It’s a bit earthy for me, but I think the man makes up for it.” He rubbed her back, gentle and strong.

“That could be all right.  He anybody I know?”

“Mmm, maybe. The name’s Thorne and I hear he’s single.”

Ridge’s grin deflated into a confounded glower.

Katie’s leaned up to kiss his offended confusion away.

“Kidding.  There’s only one Forrester for me and he happens to be the sexiest one in the bunch.”

“I like where this is going, but then I liked where the last one was going until…”

“You can’t take a joke.”

“Not about losing you to Thorne.  I’ve seen how he looks at you.”

“We have history. It’s ancient, boring, not like what we have.”

“Let me know when hearing how much I love you gets boring.”

“Don’t hold your breath.”

They kissed. The cleaning and the melodrama, they could definitely wait till tomorrow. They had other things to celebrate tonight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured it was probably time to wrap this fic up. *shrug*


End file.
